Sparacus hasn't written this tale (thank Christ) but if he had... it wouldn't be the worst B7 idea ever.
For, a while ago - back, in fact, when I had regular employment, a crippling anxiety dissorder and yet to learn the wonder of Donna Noble - I stumbled across "Alternative Series 4", a solo thread on a B7 discussion forum, untouched since 2004. No one replied or reviewed it, and the author (the one called "ORAC") never posted anything else on the forum. Just thirteen episodes, synopsis, a pitch for a Blake's 7 season after Terminal.
Sounding familiar yet?
Though these installments lack anything of Ben Chatham, Adam Rickitt - and indeed, show a kind of imagination Monsieur Goacher would never achieve - they do ring as a kind of "Son of Sparacus" with their baffling pointlessness, confused fanwank and nonsensical endings.
I haven't done a line-by-line deconstruction because... well... it just makes my head hurt, which is why this particular "Season 4 Pitch" is only reproduced installment by installment. It is unaltered in ANY way from how I found it, and anyone willing to try and review it is more than welcome. If you wish to beg me to NOT post the rest, that's entirely understandable. Cause I've read rest the rest of the season...
- Rescue
- Scorpio
- Battlecry
- Takeover
- Deception
- Blake
- Revolutions
- Shattered
- Change
- Shockwave
- Life Source
- Gauda Prime
- Judgement
Look upon the desired reality of "ORAC"... and despair...
Here is my own Alternative Series 4 episode guide...
HOW SERIES 3 ENDED:
Avon, Vila, Cally, Tarrant and Dayna are left stranded on Terminal and watch on the screen as Servalan finally stole The Liberator and disappears into the depths of space.........
EPISODE ONE: RESCUE:
SET 4 MONTHS AFTER THE EVENTS OF TERMINAL
ORAC has been monitoring all space vehicles and sends out an S.O.S as a cargo ship passes Terminal's Orbit.
As the crew go to meet the landed ship a tripwire sets off a huge explosion killing Tarrant and seriously injuring Dayna.
Avon Cally and Vila are shocked to learn that the cargo ship is in fact a high tech rebel base, captained by Avalon, they are welcomed aboard and told of Servalan's further rise in popularity and power.
A fleet of DSV's are already in peliminary construction and Avalon's first aim is to destroy the ship building station - but first she wants to know where Blake is.
Avon explains that it was all a set up by Servalan but Avalon also receieved a message from Blake so say that he was on Terminal and that is why she is there.
ORAC monitors the factory's circuits and discovers that all the new ships are to be fitted with something called A Techyon Funnel - ORAC also explains what the Funnel is capable of doing.
Avon demands that they must make a raid on the factory and destroy the weapons before the ships are ready and armed, Avalon disagrees however and orders the ship out of Orbit only to be confronted by The Liberator which is facing them head on.
The Communication channels are opened and they hear Servalan's voice.
"I hoped that one of you may try to rescue Blake but this really is a surprise. You are now all prisoners of the Federation, surrender immediatly or you will be utterly destroyed"!!!
Orac reports that The Liberator is preparing to fire, Vila suggests that they scramble the weapons but Avon demands that The Liberator is not harmed.
Taking command by pulling a gun Avon surrenders the ship and the rebels - Avalon's troops pull guns but Cally beckons that it's OK and they should trust Avon.
Federation guards are teleported across in force and whilst Avon, Vila, Cally and Avalon are held their troops are killed in a massacre.
Servalan herself teleports aboard and to take control, she orders that the ship's drives are destroyed.
She takes Avon to one side and explains that she is now more powerful than ever and that with the production of the DSV's and of Pylene Fifty - a new drug, the Federation will be invincible, she holds a gun to Avon's head and tells him that very soon he'll wish she had pulled the trigger.
Servalan then demands that she be given Orac otherwise she will kill one crew member at a time...Avon with absolute anger hands over Orac.
Servalan teleports back with Orac whilst the troops fire on all the ships drive systems, they then teleport out and The Liberator leaves.
Back on The Liberator Servalan contacts the ship building factory and demands that all work be stepped up, she tells ORAC to link to the factory's computer and make sure that nothing has been overlooked.
Meanwhile back on the Rebel ship Avalon is furious with Avon and is just about to pull a gun on him when Dayna appears, feeling much better.
Cally and Vila side with Avon, explaining that the Liberator shoudln't have been destroyed, but Avalon argues that Servalan now has The Liberator AND ORAC and can therefore thwart them at every turn.
At the ship building factory Servalan demands that the Techyon Funnel be demonstrated - it is pointed directly at Terminal and the rebel ship, she orders them to fire, both the planet and the ship are completely destroyed!
NEXT EPISODE: SCORPIO
...OK, I know I for one need a stiff drink after that nightmare...
6 comments:
HOW SERIES 3 ENDED:
Avon, Vila, Cally, Tarrant and Dayna are left stranded on Terminal and watch on the screen as Servalan finally stole The Liberator and disappears into the depths of space.........
I love the assumption that there are B7 fans out there clueless to what happened at the end of Series 3...
EDIT: Oh, my bad, that's a retcon. Or alternatively he wasn't watching the episode very closely.
Interesting to note how if there WAS no virus eating up the Liberator NOTHING WOULD HAPPEN for the majority of Terminal.
As the crew go to meet the landed ship a tripwire sets off a huge explosion killing Tarrant and seriously injuring Dayna.
This sort of thing is always a good start..
ORAC monitors the factory's circuits and discovers that all the new ships are to be fitted with something called A Techyon Funnel
SIGH.
I gather from the capital A that it's the A-grade Techyon Funnel, rather than the one you'd snag from a 2-dollar shop...
Orac reports that The Liberator is preparing to fire, Vila suggests that they scramble the weapons but Avon demands that The Liberator is not harmed.
I can see why you despaired..
Taking command by pulling a gun Avon surrenders the ship and the rebels - Avalon's troops pull guns but Cally beckons that it's OK and they should trust Avon.
Yeah, you'd need to threaten to kill people to convince them that surrendering to the fucking Liberator would be a good idea..
And wouldn't Cally use, you know, her fucking mind powers???
Federation guards are teleported across in force and whilst Avon, Vila, Cally and Avalon are held their troops are killed in a massacre.
Also, sounds like Cally got that one wrong..
she holds a gun to Avon's head and tells him that very soon he'll wish she had pulled the trigger.
And you thought the TV version was camp..
Cally and Vila side with Avon, explaining that the Liberator shoudln't have been destroyed,
A second time, that is.
but Avalon argues that Servalan now has The Liberator AND ORAC and can therefore thwart them at every turn.
And may just have a point..
At the ship building factory Servalan demands that the Techyon Funnel be demonstrated - it is pointed directly at Terminal and the rebel ship, she orders them to fire, both the planet and the ship are completely destroyed!
...so the Federation factory is ON Terminal?
Unbelievably awful in every regard.
Interesting to note how if there WAS no virus eating up the Liberator NOTHING WOULD HAPPEN for the majority of Terminal.
Obviously you're a freak who doesn't think those scenes of Dayna tapping at a calculator would be IMPROVED without the walls behind her dissolving...
This sort of thing is always a good start..
If you think this random killing of characters is a bad sign, you'll be saddened to hear it is actually a Bad Wolf-style catchphrase for each episode.
I gather from the capital A that it's the A-grade Techyon Funnel, rather than the one you'd snag from a 2-dollar shop...
*Egrorian smacks Pinder for getting him a Z-grade Techyon funnel but decides to use it to pull chicks anyway...*
Seriously though, I would have thought a cooler idea would be - rather than Tachyon Funnels - the new weapon be the space acid virus stuff. Fire it onto your enemies and watch them melt in minutes (it took so long for the Liberator coz it was huge and auto-repairing and stuff). But no. Big Fricken Lasers. Servalan's Alan Parson Project... of Eeeeeeevil.
I can see why you despaired..
Especially as the Liberator can repair itself, so damaging it isn't too bad...
Yeah, you'd need to threaten to kill people to convince them that surrendering to the fucking Liberator would be a good idea..
I like how Cally "beckons". Hand gestures CAN work for good!
And how Dayna turning up 'feeling a bit better' makes everyone forget their homicidal urges. I assume ORAC missed the bit "feeling a bit better so she decks the idiots trying to kill her friends". What contrivance, though, that she miraculously heals at this point! What brilliance! OWEN TOLD ME!!
And wouldn't Cally use, you know, her fucking mind powers???
Her hands gestures are FAR more powerful!!
Also, sounds like Cally got that one wrong..
Lucky the troops did a Manny-style mistake of killing the non-dangerous redshirts and leaving the career terrorists alive...
And you thought the TV version was camp..
I'm still wondering why Servalan left without taking Avon to be her sex slave. I mean, it's clear on her To Do List...
A second time, that is.
"People are replaceable! That model isn't!"
And may just have a point..
Avalon = the Kyle of the Oracverse.
...so the Federation factory is ON Terminal?
Um... er...
Unbelievably awful in every regard.
You wanna see the rest? ;)
If you think this random killing of characters is a bad sign, you'll be saddened to hear it is actually a Bad Wolf-style catchphrase for each episode.
Hmm, why do I not find that hard to believe..
Seriously though, I would have thought a cooler idea would be - rather than Tachyon Funnels - the new weapon be the space acid virus stuff. Fire it onto your enemies and watch them melt in minutes (it took so long for the Liberator coz it was huge and auto-repairing and stuff).
...that would actually be kind of cool. The gas cloud being waste from Federation experiments so Servalan was indirectly responsible for destroying her entire plan TWICE over. Neato..
And how Dayna turning up 'feeling a bit better' makes everyone forget their homicidal urges.
Tears spring to their eyes as they reflect on the beauty of human life..
Lucky the troops did a Manny-style mistake of killing the non-dangerous redshirts and leaving the career terrorists alive...
That had occurred to me.
What I found bizarre was Servalan says "Soon you're going to wish I pulled this trigger..." Presumably referring to her plans to kill him in an equally painlessly instantaneous manner a couple of minutes later..
I'm still wondering why Servalan left without taking Avon to be her sex slave. I mean, it's clear on her To Do List...
And that's another good point..
Um... er...
You know, because they go to the Federation factory and find Servalan, but then their ship's still in Terminal's orbit..
You wanna see the rest? ;)
Actually yes.
Two vaguely related points: as for plotholes in something far more polished I just watched the start of Jekyll.. in the last episode before Tom turns into Hyde he tells Claire that "Nobody sees this".. and yet in the first episode the lights don't flicker at all and he transforms in full view of Kathryn and two complete strangers. (And, I'm also guessing from memory, in front of his kid in the second episode..)
And on the subject of B7 re-writes, I sent CdnBob an email asking for more info on his B7 series. Yeeeeeah won't be writing for it. Unlike yourself and Miles, I can see the 30-year-later idea working IF (big if) the characters are good. This incarnation of the 7...
Dark, gritty unstoppable Cyborg/Medic
Dark, cynical pilot chick who's lost all her friends
James Nesbitt as he appeared in Murphy's Law but more psychotic
A geriatric Avon calling himself 'Nova'
Blake's bitter and twisted secret son
An alien shapeshifter
And the requisite computers
B7 had well judged and varied characters, and I have to say as a weird person who's always trying to come up with TV show ideas I try to think of the best personality types for canvasing a wide array of stories and catering for a lot of people in the audience and... I just despaired at their 'series bible'. An ancient Servalan with dementia being succeeded by her ruthless bitch of a daughter she had to Tarrant is really the highpoint.
Again, it falls into the trap of thinking of B7 as 'dark' and nothing else. It may have been a dark show, but did that mean that they were dark characters? In fact, I'd say none of them were!
*Idealistic freedom fighter
*Highly conceited, unemotional computer genius with criminal past
*Manic depressive cowardly man-child urchin
*A flirtatious former smuggling baroness with conflicting senses of daring and pragmatism
*Smug, ruthless and irritatingly handsome Fed pilot turned greedy mercenary
*Telepathic and impartial alien guerilla fighter
*Amoral yet playful young weapons engineer
*Coy gunslinger with mysterious past and a way with words
*Kind-hearted but simple man-giant who only gets respect through death-threats
Looking at all those characters again I'm in awe. You can do anything with them. Most shows made now don't have that good a cast, but you have to look at creating something very nearly that great if you want to do B7!
*Sigh* Having seen the opening episode of Firefly last week, maybe I can just pretend THAT'S B7 30 years later...
Hmm, why do I not find that hard to believe..
You won't expect how it happens. Seriously, it's almost DTF the way the deaths are contrived...
...that would actually be kind of cool. The gas cloud being waste from Federation experiments so Servalan was indirectly responsible for destroying her entire plan TWICE over. Neato..
Thanks man, I do my best. Plus, it being artificial explains why Zen doesn't know what it is (and he knows all about wierd red holes and stuff...)
Tears spring to their eyes as they reflect on the beauty of human life..
God Save The Queen starts to play in the background...
Actually yes.
OK. But only one ep at a time....
Two vaguely related points: as for plotholes in something far more polished I just watched the start of Jekyll.. in the last episode before Tom turns into Hyde he tells Claire that "Nobody sees this".. and yet in the first episode the lights don't flicker at all and he transforms in full view of Kathryn and two complete strangers. (And, I'm also guessing from memory, in front of his kid in the second episode..)
Hmmm. I can only think that the change can't be truly appreciated by someone who doesn't know what's going on - so the teenagers in the first ep wouldn't see him change, they'd see Jackman one minute, Hyde the next, with no transformation. Similarly Kathryn isn't expect a physical change, and thus doesn't SEE it.
Or maybe he was just trying to sound all romantic since he hadn't been with his wife in bed for six months?
And on the subject of B7 re-writes, I sent CdnBob an email asking for more info on his B7 series. Yeeeeeah won't be writing for it.
I take it it must be awful...
Unlike yourself and Miles, I can see the 30-year-later idea working IF (big if) the characters are good.
Oh yes. I'm just saying it's an idea more likely to fail than succeed. It could go wrong in too many ways, as evidenced by the attempts to do the EXACT SAME SHOW, let alone a sequel.
This incarnation of the 7...
Dark, gritty unstoppable Cyborg/Medic
Kyben??
Dark, cynical pilot chick who's lost all her friends
Hailee?!
James Nesbitt as he appeared in Murphy's Law but more psychotic
Mr. Hyde??
A geriatric Avon calling himself 'Nova'
You mean a DIFFERENT Nova to the one from Space Fall?
(Nova... for fuck's sake... I mean, I'll let Nation off because he wasn't going to be a regular character, but... just... GAH!)
Blake's bitter and twisted secret son
Played by Adam Rickitt?
(I'll just say I'm sick to death of Blake's son - it also is stupid that in the Federation you only gain respect from family lineage)
An alien shapeshifter
Frobisher?
And the requisite computers
K9?!
I have to say, they sound better for Torchwood 3000 than anything to do with Blake's 7.
B7 had well judged and varied characters, and I have to say as a weird person who's always trying to come up with TV show ideas I try to think of the best personality types for canvasing a wide array of stories and catering for a lot of people in the audience and... I just despaired at their 'series bible'.
...a series bible...
*tries not to weep*
An ancient Servalan with dementia being succeeded by her ruthless bitch of a daughter she had to Tarrant is really the highpoint.
I would have expected her to clone herself. Imagine that - the Servalans, like Sontarans except they all wear evening dresses. Different Servalans fighting for the throne (and since this is FAN FICTION, entirely possible since you don't have to stick to a BBC filming schedule...)
And, I'm sorry, even if Servalan got knocked up on Virn, I doubt she'd keep it. Tarrant's genetics would no doubt lead to Timmy from South Park, only more of an asshole.
Again, it falls into the trap of thinking of B7 as 'dark' and nothing else.
I know. Part of the reason Servalan and Avon got on so well they could both see the funny side of how screwed up the world is - their exchanges in Aftermath, for example.
It may have been a dark show, but did that mean that they were dark characters? In fact, I'd say none of them were!
...yeah, pretty much.
I mean, in even the last episode Avon's portrayed as the weary sensible parent - watch as he finds his wayward kids out camping and effortlessly saves them from their own stupidity...
Looking at all those characters again I'm in awe. You can do anything with them. Most shows made now don't have that good a cast, but you have to look at creating something very nearly that great if you want to do B7!
Standing ovation.
*Sigh* Having seen the opening episode of Firefly last week, maybe I can just pretend THAT'S B7 30 years later...
Wouldn't be surprised. Joss Whedon is a great fan of B7, and credits a few of his ideas from the show - one of which has Spike being given a brain implant that prevents him from harming people, so he is forced to become the sarcastic leather-clad one who points out how stupid the rest of the cast are...
OK. But only one ep at a time....
Actually, just realised that you posted the link. I guess it doesn't really matter then..
Or maybe he was just trying to sound all romantic since he hadn't been with his wife in bed for six months?
Ah, that's a good one..
Kyben??
Nah, he's... I don't know, I read the synopsis and I didn't get it. Like a failed Mutoid experiment who's now INVINCIBLE. And because he knows about needles and stuff (from all the blood drinking) he's the medic of the crew
Mr. Hyde??
Without the fun side..
(Nova... for fuck's sake... I mean, I'll let Nation off because he wasn't going to be a regular character, but... just... GAH!)
It's his name spelt backwards, man. You think Avon has all day to sit around coming up with pseudonyms?
(I'll just say I'm sick to death of Blake's son - it also is stupid that in the Federation you only gain respect from family lineage)
Personally I liked my own idea (but then I would, wouldn't I?) of a character who CALLS himself Blake but is just a complete nutter who believes himself to be a descendant or the reincarnation with absolutely no evidence on his side. But the guy has pull with a lot of rebels so the 7 have no choice but to keep him onboard, albeit just as a figurehead.
I have to say, they sound better for Torchwood 3000 than anything to do with Blake's 7.
Yeah, I'd agree with that.
I would have expected her to clone herself.
Why would you think that? Just because she was actively looking into precisely that possibility in at least two episodes?
Imagine that - the Servalans, like Sontarans except they all wear evening dresses. Different Servalans fighting for the throne (and since this is FAN FICTION, entirely possible since you don't have to stick to a BBC filming schedule...)
Well, yeah. But I have to say that Mum and I discussed the whole idea of multiple Servalans after Auron, and we had to agree that the obvious flaw in Servi's plan is that how could anything be done with all the ensuing infighting? By blowing them up Avon and co. could have blown their best chance of a long-term victory..
Part of the reason Servalan and Avon got on so well they could both see the funny side of how screwed up the world is - their exchanges in Aftermath, for example.
Hey, I watched Aftermath the other day. She's nearly charismatic in some of the scenes..
Nah, he's... I don't know, I read the synopsis and I didn't get it. Like a failed Mutoid experiment who's now INVINCIBLE. And because he knows about needles and stuff (from all the blood drinking) he's the medic of the crew
Cause I know for one *I* would trust my health to a bloodsucking CyberZombie.
Without the fun side..
So Kaston Ih-ah-go then?
It's his name spelt backwards, man. You think Avon has all day to sit around coming up with pseudonyms?
So it's actually Avon using a cunning Saxon anagram?
Personally I liked my own idea (but then I would, wouldn't I?) of a character who CALLS himself Blake but is just a complete nutter who believes himself to be a descendant or the reincarnation with absolutely no evidence on his side. But the guy has pull with a lot of rebels so the 7 have no choice but to keep him onboard, albeit just as a figurehead.
Yeah, that could work, but "Oh yes, Roj Blake had a family you never heard about who the Federation DIDN'T coldbloodedly execute and they just so happen to STILL support your cause" stuff bugs me...
Why would you think that? Just because she was actively looking into precisely that possibility in at least two episodes?
You're right. Sheer stupidity. Servalan would much prefer to do the all natural nine months and raise the brat herself.
Well, yeah. But I have to say that Mum and I discussed the whole idea of multiple Servalans after Auron, and we had to agree that the obvious flaw in Servi's plan is that how could anything be done with all the ensuing infighting?
Well, to be fair we don't know WHAT her plan was after that. Maybe she was going to put them on ice and try and transfer her mind into the clone. Or use them as body doubles to draw out assassins.
And since she was telepathically linked to them, maybe they would have worked something out?
By blowing them up Avon and co. could have blown their best chance of a long-term victory..
Ah, but it wasn't THEM who blew it up, it was Captain Bonzai Ginka who did that...
Hey, I watched Aftermath the other day. She's nearly charismatic in some of the scenes..
Especially considering how socially inept she is at the best of times. I start to think she became a psycho murderer simply to have something to do when you run out of polite conversation.
"So... weird weather huh?"
"Yup. Yup, really weird."
"But, you know, good for ducks and stuff."
"Yeah. Guess."
...
*stabs him to death*
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