[Meanwhile, in a Hammersmith bedsit...]
Tommy: In addition to slandering bikers, Ewen has spent over a decade now continually cyberbullying another fan, Mark Goacher. Also known on the web as 'sparacus'.
Tommy: Like me, Sparacus is a fanfic writer, and like me he has had his own labour of love targeted and ridiculed mercilessly by Ewen (though as far as I know, Ewen has not been able to stoop so low as to exploit Mark with false promises to help him with his fiction before trashing it whilst he's in hospital and in a critical condition).
Tommy: His opinions on the current show are also frequently mocked and vilified by Ewen who will accept no other opinions on New Who other than the wholly sycophantic. He has even in the past declared that fans like Mark 'should be shot'.
Ronny: Bloody nora!
Tommy: Like a crazed stalker, Ewen hates Mark, but is fixated with returning constantly to the object of his resentment and tracking their every move online. I should know, he did the same to me. I don't know how Mark puts up or deals with this constant harrassment, but whatever he's doing isn't working, because this creep's clearly not going to leave him alone, judging by his latest blog posts.
Ronny: Spartacus is probably his longest lasting target, but Mark is not alone as a victim. Gabriel Chase and yours truly are two others that have suffered prolonged harassment. The real issue is that despite his pretense at being a secular libertine, ECC is very much like George W. Bush.
Tommy: I knew it!
Ronny: His world is a comic book one, very black and white, where there are only good guys and bad guys. You are either 'with him' or 'against him'. It is in fact, a child's view of the world.
Tommy: You are so right. So, so right.
Ronny: Recently ECC or GeorgeWjnr jnr you might say, declared that Spartacus
Tommy:Sparacus. Not Spartacus.
Ronny: Oh. Anyway, that he had to 'admit' that he like an episode of the new series. As if liking one episode makes all his previous views redundant (remember my point about the black and white world). Even the most ardent fan of the show with any analytical cred has had to admit that the show is often badly written with plot holes you could drive a truck through and fill the void of actual plot with dramatic interpersonal tension on a very formulaic basis. Occasionally there have been good episodes, even Dr. Tim Stanley admits that.
Tommy: Exactly! ...who's Tim Stanley?
Ronny: But there are massive problems with the show, and just because ECC can't comprehend them doesn't mean they aren't there. He's like the third wave feminist who congratulates society on not having a debate about a critical social issue because she already has her way - a debate would show up her own lack of comprehension as well as her intellectual dishonesty.
Tommy: He sees himself as the good guy, and yet as far as I know, Sparacus has never done anything bad to him to warrant such constant victimization
Ronny: I've conversed with Spartacus
Ronny: Whatever. And he just thinks he's a sad git who's views are irrelevant and who had been banned from virtually every Who forum known to man.
Tommy: Would not surprise me.
Ronny: I've said it before and I will say it again but a lot of these Gen Y kids interpret good and bad as structures that allow them to do as they want or not do as they want. They simply lack the comprehension skills to understand why the new series is a critical failure, they are too busy being a part of something big and don't want spoilsports reminding them that it may not be true that 'if it feels good, do it'.
Tommy: I used to think so...
Ronny: That was Fred West's motto by the way.
Tommy: Ahem. I used to think so about Ewen, until I realized how dangerous some of his posts are, and how far he'll go to exploit someone like me. He's a man who took advantage of me at a time I was convinced I was going to die, trashed my creative work, leaked all its spoilers and when called upon the damage he'd done with his betrayal and the life-threatening situation I was in, said, I quote "Just what was so difficult anyone with a scintillia of creativity and imagination could NOT overcome?"
Tommy: That's the kind of response I'd expect from a Nazi.
Ronny: Yes but that just demands a degree of slyness, not any analytical ability. He doesn't have any. Any form of open debate is a constant reminder of what he isn't capable of; the object of his unconditional affections is proof enough of his juvenile and inadequate mind.
Tommy: I bet the mangina-looking bastard is parodying us as we speak.
Ronny: He wouldn't!
Tommy: You do not know the depths of evil and lies he is capable of - the Nazi George W Bush!
Ronny: How dare he! I bet he's too scared to come here and talk to us!
Tommy: Yes. This scumbag just has no conscience:
Ronny: We are living rent free in his head Tom.
Tommy: At least we are righteous.
Ronny: Damn straight.
[Long pause. They catch each other's eyes. "The Sun Always Shines on the Righteous" by Jocks Wahey starts to play. They hold hands, smile, and walk to the bedroom. A long pause. Then a strange figure bursts into the flat and screams at the top of its voice:]
Pizza Supreme: IT'S CALLED...