...in so many ways. Well, I'm volunteering my grunt services at the noble Hepatitis C Awareness organization (I still know little more than Martha Jones pretending to be Sam Jones pretending to have it, before getting Wirrn larvae injected into her intestines). Yet, curiously, I have also turned back to my guide page.
You know. This one.
Yes, if you want to see my psuedo-satirical ramblings (TM patent applied for by M. Goacher of Colchester) turned onto the Big Finish abomination they dared pass off as Season 27... well. Go there. It's not often I totally lost any kind of objectivity and started ranting without comic intent - the only other time was in Full Fist Five where I got sick of Steve Foxx telling me how to live my life - but amazingly enough, Crime of the Century finally made me snap. Maybe because it was awfully-written toss, but maybe because of the overarching philosophy...
Sam: I know all about losing things. Why do you think I’m here, wasting my time doing crosswords and aggravating my piles for thirty grand scores? Because I lost the lot! I used to have it all and I lost it all on Black Monday!
Doctor: Oh, one of THOSE. They happen every few decades, inevitable, brief and periodic cycles.
Sam: It’s all every well having that point of view when you’re a bloody time traveler – try to being a small-to-medium-sized business enterprise and THEN see how brief they seem. And how inevitable? I don’t think it HAD to happen! I’d like to get my hands on the blokes responsible, the lad who caused. Mark my words, someone’s made a nice little profit out of ruining us all. They did it all deliberately to make a killing!
Doctor: Shut up, Sam! JUST SHUT THE FUCK UP!
Sam: But, Doctor...
Doctor: I have had it UP TO HERE with all this self-pitying social relevancy... you’re a fucking gangland boss! Stop whinging about how unfair life is because YOUR bank balance is no longer in six figures! BOO-FUCKING-HOO! I was all ready to try and get into this gritty social realism, get rid of all the science fiction aspects and become as hardcore as "The Bill" or "London’s Burning" but MOTHER OF FUCKING CHRIST – a posh sword-fighting cat burglar and her Cockney gangster dad! VERY FUCKING REALISTIC I DON’T THINK! And, I could even have coped, even with the new Earthbound format with authentic-based contemporary characters IF YOU WEREN’T ALL SUCH TOTAL ASSHOLES! Hmmm, planet Zog in the 82nd Century or Thatcher’s Britain – I wonder which one will be more fun and interesting? That’s it, I quit!
Sam: Sylv, you’re going way off script...
Doctor: FUCK THE SCRIPT! I QUIT THIS WHOLE FUCKING SHOW!
...yeah. Probably some bias there.
In other news, The Lodger 2: Closing Time is awesome. It's quite clear only Gareth Roberts could be considered for replacement showrunner, since apart from anything else he's done more DW stories per year since 2005 since even RTD. Plus, you know, he can work out plots and is actually funny. Just say "no" to Mark Gatiss, boys and girls. Just say "no".
And I might get back Andrew & The Vanishing Verkoff once I've had my blood bleached yet again...