Showing posts with label MAXIMUM FANWANK.... Show all posts
Showing posts with label MAXIMUM FANWANK.... Show all posts

Friday, June 5, 2015

What if? - WOTD sequel!

Inspired by the interest of Matt "Boxor" Marshall, my interest has returned briefly to War of the Daleks. Suppose - just suppose! - that instead of being dropped like a leprosy-infested brick with "property of J. Saville" written on it in Princess Diana's blood, the authors of the 8th Doctor Adventures had gone with it? Perhaps even tied it into Alien Bodies and its portents of a future Time War?

After all, if War of the Daleks could retcon four different TV stories surely the BBC books could retcon War of the Daleks? After all, even the most sympathetic pro-Peel reader would notice some anomalies. Why was Davros in the 40th Century and not the 20th? Why were the imperial and the renegades mixed up? How come Mechanoids knew about Movellans if they were Dalek inventions? Why was Skaro no longer radioactive? And how come the planet Antalin is a Dalek-infested water planet yet simultaneously supposed to be the sterilized cinder left by the Hand of Omega?

There's a passage in War of the Daleks which gives the interesting idea that the conspiracy to save Skaro was in fact a conspiracy - Skaro wasn't saved, but the Dalek Prime was going through this elaborate ruse to make people BELIEVE an elboratue ruse had already happened...

The Dalek Prime was suddenly picked out by a spotlight, one that made him look even larger than he really was. Again, Davros sneered to himself – even his casing was a simple redesign of Davros’s own carriage. He’d also seen Special Weapons Daleks about, another of his own innovations. Clearly, the Dalek Prime was unoriginal, snatching what he could of Davros’s and laying claim to it. Little wonder, then, that he was insisting that they were on the original Skaro. He didn’t dare admit that Davros had done something he couldn’t undo.

And instead of some pissweak "Delgado versus Dalek Invasion of Earth versus Survivors" bollocks, the tenth book in the 8DA range looked forward rather than back...


NOTE: I came up with the following after five minutes' thought...

With Sam missing, the Doctor searches the nearby solar system and discovers to his shock this is the star system he blew up with the Hand of Omega. But, upon closer examination he discovers the ruined planet of "Antalin" is genuinely Skaro!

Suspicions aroused, the Doctor returns to Thal space to meet up with his pals Chayn and Dyoni and together they discover the real truth: long ago, the Daleks convinced their enemies the Thals that entirely the wrong planet was Skaro so they would fight and die for an entirely random planet but now that the genuine article has been destroyed, the Daleks have been forced to keep up the pretence living on False Skaro.

On False Skaro, the Dalek Prime's efforts to unify the Dalek race are coming apart as his deception is uncovered - not only did he not save Skaro, he didn't build the Movellans or even execute Davros. The Davros he tried and destroyed was an android duplicate to lure our the dissenters. But thanks to the actions of a Spider-Dalek, android Davros has survived.

False Skaro is plunged into civil war yet again and this time the Thals move in to wipe out the winner. The Doctor, however, realizes he may have unleashed an even greater conflict - a faction of Daleks, encouraged by the Doctor being fooled the first time, are now determined to take on the Time Lords.

The future war in Heaven has drawn closer and it's all the Doctor's fault...

Oh, what might have been!

Friday, April 10, 2015

War of the Dalek Writers

War of the Daleks is a wholly-remarkable book - out of the first five-book run of Eighth Doctor adventures, it easily scrapes past the level of acceptable mediocrity. In terms of prose, plotting and characterization, it's hardly the worst BBC Book had offered in that year alone. It has a clear point to it, a linear plot and a straightforward narrative, yet while The Eight Doctors (a glorified This Is Your Life youtube vid) was given a grudging pass by critics, War of the Daleks shattered the fragile concept of canon. Even other 8DAs didn't admit the book had happened, it became the butt of jokes. In days gone by, the awfulness of The Pit didn't prevent fans from accepting it as a necessary part of the Whoniverse.

But after War of the Daleks, the idea that the books were a single, cohesive series of Doctor Who was even tossed aside by DWM. From now on, each book was judged on its individual merit and the idea it was a single, uncompromised saga was tossed out. One can only wonder if this would have happened if the book had been renamed War of the Trods, and concerned a different bunch of outer-space robot people. Certainly it would have had the same impact on the ongoing storyline - no one anywhere would have wanted to pick up the narrative threads. Not even John Peel himself has done anything with the ravaged mythology he left in his wake. People complained when Terra Firma completely contradicted this book in every important respect but no fan has ever suggested it would be better story to pick up where the other left off.

When Peel released Legacy of the Daleks (hinting at a plan for a Dalek story every five books that was mercifully dropped), it was a similar critical failure. No one, however, was truly offended by the revelations made about the Master and Susan. No flamewars erupted. Was it that fandom had already flung up its hands and huffed "I don't have to put up with this!" or was it, perhaps, that Legacy of the Daleks was written by an author no longer riddled with ambivalence that bled into his work? For War of the Dalek is a book written in anger, frustration and transferred disappointment with a father figure.

Pre-97, John Peel was the Nicholas Briggs of his age. Who else would write a Dalek story? His novelizations of all bar one sixties Dalek tale were universally lauded. He and Terry Nation were great mates, and Nation looked upon Peel as a worthy custodian of Skaro's finest. Peel had written the ghastly-formatted The Official Doctor Who & the Daleks Book, a truly horrific pale shadow of David Banks' Cybermen magnum opus. They both came out in 1988, Doctor Who's 25th Anniversary but I defy anyone not to look dubiously at the hideous photomontage cover and the banner saying THE COMPLETE STORY OF THE TIME LORD'S GREATEST FOES and not see the cut-out Tom Baker rolling his eyes and thinking "What about Remembrance, smartarse?"

Let's be fair. Cybermen missed out Silver Nemesis as well. The series was still an ongoing concern as far as everyone knew, so of course the book would be out-of-date. But what might grab your attention is the History of the Daleks at the back of the book which basically summarizes the already-adequately summarized plots but in an ongoing narrative with some interesting ideas (ie, Death to the Daleks occurs during the Movellan war, hence all the plagues). However, there is easily overlooked a passage as John Peel has to deal with the following problem of Davros' story still ongoing in a "complete" history.

So, after the entry for Revelation of the Daleks he wrote the following:

The ship carrying Davros had narrowly escaped destruction, having launched into space with moments to spare before Orcini had triggered his bomb. It returned to Skaro with Davros strictly watched at all times. On the Dalek homeworld, he was brought before the Supreme Council and the Black Dalek for trial. As he had expected, this was mostly a farce played out before the Daleks who watched the events on film. Davros was given the opportunity to speak, the Black Dalek knowing that their crazed creator would never be able to resist.

Davros launched into an impassioned plea to the watching Daleks to swear allegience to him, and to allow him to lead them to greater victories once again. he promised to redesign their casings, making them stronger, swifter and more enduring. He promised to oversee their destiny as supreme beings of the universe. Finally the Black Dalek cut him off and spoke in turn. Davros had never renounced his claim to be the supreme ruler of the Daleks; to him, they were nothing more than an extension of his own purposes. Instead, the Black Dalek insisted, they could do what was needed without Davros - who would undoubtedly seize his first opportunity to reprogram them to obey him again. Davros could not be trusted; he must be exterminated so that the Dalek race could achieve its own destiny.

Davros called them fools if they rejected him, promising that without him they were doomed. The Daleks refused to listen further, and he was sentenced to death. He managed one last attempt to rehain power, for there were some within the Dalek ranks - even within the Supreme Council - who felt that he was possibly telling the truth. At any rate, there were some Daleks who felt that Davros could be used and then discarded once his mind had been drained and utilized. A rescue attempt was staged but the Black Dalek had been anticipating this. Since the disastrous losses of the Movellan War, he had known that there was talk of overthrowing the Council and feforming the Dalek power scheme. The only reason Davros had been brought back to Skaro was to force the rebel elements into the open.

The Black Dalek and his forces struck against the traitors. They succeeded in slaying the dissidents, and this time there was no escape for Davros. The Black Dalek ensured that he was condemned, and he was placed within a matter transmitter. It was set on a broad beam, and his component molecules were scattered about their sun. There would, it seemed, be no way back for Davros this time, despite his rantings and boasts. The war for the final control of the Daleks was over.


Now, the more observantof you might have noticed the uncannily similarity between these pages of TODWATDB and the entire second half of War of the Daleks. So, Peel wrote two pages in 1987 and then decided to turn them into a novel, but it would be ten years before it finally saw print. Indeed, he actually wanted to pitch War of the Daleks to JNT for Season 27...

The idea for the book was originally to tie up the JNT era Dalek stories. I had originally planned it, in fact as a four-part TV proposal. Then the show was placed in hiatus hell, so l altered it to a novel outline. What I wanted to do was to finish the Davros/Dalek war thread that had been running a little too long, and then enable future stories to simply find their own ground, without being forced into following the rather involved plot that was running. Another reason for the story was to bring back Skaro. I feel that its destruction in Remembrance - was a bad move, as did Terry Nation. When I sought his permission for War, he asked me to try and rectify the destruction, which I think I've done very sneakily.

From this we can only assume that Peel really, really liked the idea of humiliating Davros and then killing him off that he even wanted it done on screen. With proper actors and everything.


Looking back, it's remarkable that he wrote those two pages at all. Terry Nation had stipulated Davros be in all future Dalek stories, so the odds of him turning up in Remembrance was 1 in 1. The odds of Ben Aaronovitch's story following TODWATB were far lower, but ironically it followed a similar premise with the main difference being that Davros won the trial and it was the "proper" Daleks hunted to extinction.

So, Peel chose to kill off Davros in the pages of the book despite there being not a chance in hell it would ever be followed up in canon, at the express wish of his pal and co-author Terry Nation. He could easily have written "unfortunately Davros then fell into a black hole and hasn't been seen since", sorted out the history section and kept his credibility. But no. Peel hates Davros. And not in a "loveable bastard" like Nimrod or Sherrif Vasey. He flat out despises the character that Nation loves so much and insists on using.

For example, there is nothing on-screen or from Terry Nation or Douglas Adams to suggest this is the back-story to Destiny of the Daleks, but Peel's bias immediately shines through.

The Dalek Prime knew that Davros considered himself superior to the Daleks and would inevitably try to gain control of them again. He must seem to have that opportunity. The Dalek Prime ordered the special construction of a small group of Daleks that would take orders from Davros but be fitted with explosive devices that the Dalek Prime could detonate in case of need. Davros would be given an extremely small army to order about, but the Dalek Prime would retain ultimate control. Their task was to find and restore Davros, and to convince him that he had full control of the Daleks.

Rather than accept the idea that the Daleks were knackered and desperate, as intended by the writers, Peel comes up with this conspiracy theory to emphasize that the Daleks are awesome and Davros is an easily-fooled sap who is more trouble than he's worth. It's almost an act of denial, feverishly insisting that this must all be an elaborate con because the alternative is too much of a challenge to his worldview.

The summary of the story emphasizes that Davros is a megalomaniac who never stood a chance against, well, anyone who stood against him and emphasized how he was no match for the Doctor, Romana, the Movellans, the slaves, Earth authorities. I bet that Kaled mutant pissed on Davros' wheelchair as well.

Now, Resurrection of the Daleks suffered from a half-arsed rewrite - literally half, given the first two episodes work on the assumption the Daleks are pathetic wretches on the verge of exinction, but the last two were changed so their Empire was at its height. Guess which version Peel prefers?

According to The History of the Daleks, while the Daleks were thrashed by the Movellans the idea that they were desperate for Davros' help is just "a suggestion" by the badass Dalek Prime which was presumably taken seriously by Daleks unable to detect the sarcasm. Indeed, the idea that Davros might succeed and take over the Daleks is treated as far more frightening a prospect than the whole 'assassinate the Time Lords' issue.

On Skaro, the Black Dalek regarded this setback with fury. At least, it seemed, all possible mance from Davros was eliminated. The Dalek scientists evolved a cure for the virus, and the remnants of the Dalek army began to reassemble itself. The way forward was still open.

The Discontinuity Guide noted that Davros' survival hampered the once-unified Dalek race, but Peel seems to think this is a bad thing both fictionally and creatively. Daleks with Davros = crap as far as he is concerned. Thus, the core idea of War of the Daleks makes sense. Whether a story for the Seventh Doctor and Benny for the NAs or the Eighth Doctor and Sam, the book exists for a single reason: to kill Davros. No, more than that, to systematically destroy any credibility the character had and THEN kill him off.

It's interesting to see Davros' various deaths from authors. Terry Nation killed off Davros in the first story, but deliberately left open the possibility for a return (he did the same thing with Servalan) but didn't set this in stone. Eric Saward's original script killed off Davros, but simply as part of the overall massacre; if Davros survived, then the defeat of the Daleks would count for nothing. Ben Aaronovitch made it clear Davros would survive the story, but when this wasn't immediate clear on screen (it's easy to miss the escape pod fleeing in time) he wrote the novelization to make damn certain everyone knew it wasn't over. RTD left Davros in flames almost as a tradition, and was surprised when people assumed he'd wanted to kill the character off. On audio, Davros' death of mind and soul in Terra Firma as he suffers the nightmare of becoming just another Dalek is probably the only one intended to be final. In Davros, his 'doom' is simply to synch up between stories, while The Juggernauts seems so divorced from all continuity (not only does Davros die, but he turns good before being smashed to pieces by Mechanoids and then exploding with enough force to wipe out an entire colony) it might as well be a battle from the Time War. He's killed off in Masters of War for the simple reason it's Unbound, in much the same way.

But not Peel. He wants the crippled fucker gone once and for all, and even adds an extra bit to Davros' death scene just to make sure no one can ever bring the character back.

‘Purge the system memory.’ It was always technically feasible that Davros’s body and prints could be rebuilt using the memory core of the computer. There was no need to take chances.

The Spider Dalek obeyed. ‘Memory core has been purged,’ it reported, and pulled the block from the machine. It set this on a small pedestal, and backed off. Then it fired once. The core exploded, falling in small, smoking ruins.

No data could have survived that. The Dalek Prime was satisfied.

I don't think anyone reading the book would have been thinking "Hmm, I guess we could bring Davros back by getting him rebuilt from the Dalek Brain Machine..." but Peel is, like the Dalek Prime, not taking any chances. I dare say the working title of the book was No More Davros Ever He's Dead We Will Not Even Mention Him Again. Peel certainly got his wish in literary terms: Davros first appearance in an expanded novel was his last and he's never returned. It was six years before there was another story with Davros, eight years before anyone explored what happened to him post the Hand of Omega.

It's not like this is the first time Nation and Peel have been at loggerheads. For example, this "Dalek Prime" we've been talking about. Apparently this is the one true ruler of the Daleks throughout their history, but oddly enough the only references to a Dalek Prime are in the novelizations of The Chase, The Dalek Masterplan and The Evil of the Daleks. All written by... John Peel.

Why?

The answer's simple. The TV has been quite consistent on this score: the top of the Dalek totem pole, the one to whom the buck stops, is the Emperor of the Daleks. Created in 1964 for The Dalek Book by David Whittaker, later in the TV21 comic strips, and then on TV in Evil of the Daleks. The Emperor is an iconic character that even random hacks like Terrance Dicks, Eric Saward and Ben Aaronovitch instantly think that the top Dalek goes by that name. While it was up in the air as to who would lead the Daleks in The Parting of the Ways, RTD never considered anything less than Emperor could be their title.

And why not? "The Emperor of the Daleks" is a title that immediately intimidates. It instantly conveys an imperial, militaristic society ruled by one above all others. It conjures up images of Japan, of Napoleon, of courts at the heart of enemy territory no one has witnessed and lived to tell the tale. It is impressive - even new viewers watching the Cult of Skaro would understand what was happening when they spoke of their fallen Emperor, or why they would be so outraged when Rose brags about killing him.

Except... Terry Nation didn't like the idea of the Dalek Empire being ruled by an Emperor for some reason. No idea why, but he preferred the head honcho to be the Supreme Dalek. In Planet of the Daleks he specifically created the bling-clad Supreme Dalek to make it clear to a new generation there wasn't an Emperor Dalek (which Terrance Dicks undermines in the novelization by making it clear the Supreme is just a representative of the Emperor, ala Darth Vader). One of Nation's stranger demands to Eric Saward was that the golden Emperor in Warhead become the Supreme Dalek for Resurrection of the Daleks.

We can see a pattern forming. All the evidence in televised Doctor Who makes it clear the Daleks obey an emperor but Terry Nation doesn't like that. John Peel's very awkward compromise is to use the Emperor but call him something different: the Dalek Prime. In both TODWATDB and his adaptation of The Evil of the Daleks its made clear that the Dalek Prime, at the end of his career becomes the huge bastard wired into the Dalek City referred to by friend and foe alike as Emperor.

In War of the Daleks, Peel even pours salt in the wound with the description of the ersatz Supreme Dalek:

It was a Dalek, but not like any she had seen before. This one was slightly larger than the others, with a bulbous head. It was a burnished gold colour, and had about a dozen lights about the expanded dome instead of the average Dalek’s two.

So, not only is the leader of the Daleks obviously the Emperor Dalek, it's the one that Nation himself hated more than all the others. Is this the act for someone who thought Nation was right about everything.

(It's worth noting that even the New Dalek Paradigm immediately - as in, within two weeks - was saying that the Supreme Dalek was subservient to an Emperor, and the Prime Minister of the Dalek Parliament is clearly the Emperor in all but name, simply so Matt Smith can go eye-to-tentacle with it).

Thus, War of the Daleks is a book written with resentment, not love. Much as we joke about fan writers like Gary Russell or Craig Hinton penning whole books as an excuse to show off their continuity ideas, this is a book designed to show off a single scene written ten years ago. John Peel isn't coming up with a new look at established events, or marvelling at the interconnectedness of the canon. It is a primal scream of absolute hatred at a character that showed off everything he despised in Terry Nation's work.

Terry Nation was, infamously, put out by the destruction of Skaro in Remembrance of the Daleks. Now, I can't really see what he was bothered about. He himself wrote several stories where the Daleks are not based on Skaro, and find different hostile jungle planets like Kembel or Spiridon to make their new home. It had been ten years since a story was actually set on Skaro. Would any of the New Series Dalek stories really have been improved with scenes set on Skaro instead of Dalek motherships? Asylum of the Daleks (and before it City of the Daleks) establish Skaro still exists, but it's in total ruins and not even the Daleks are interested in one single planet when they're trying to conquer all reality. From this we can conclude one of two explanation of how Skaro survived Omega's bitchslap:

1) The Time War rewrote history
2) Skaro, being such a huge and awesome planet twelfth out from the sun, was scorched and sterilized by the supernova but did not actually disintegrate. The destruction was figurative rather than literal.

Either way, who cares?

John Peel was specifically asked to undo Skaro's destruction by Nation, which of course became the core part of the backstory of War of the Daleks. However, one problem is flagged up.

The Doctor shook his head. ‘All simply to stop Davros from destroying your home world. I never realised you were so attached to it.’

Yes, John Peel doesn't actually have any reason to save Skaro and neither do the Daleks. Indeed, the resources they've put into saving Skaro are surely costing more than if they'd just moved to another solar system and let Davros do his worse. There is clearly a Dalek accountant screaming that this is a stupid waste of the quarterly budget. The only real justification is that War of the Daleks allows The Evil of the Daleks to be the final ever Dalek story. Which is set on Skaro, the same Skaro as the first story.And yes, totally ignores the point of Day of the Daleks that the survivors of the civil war were still causing trouble. Because now that was just the Daleks pro-actively trying to save Skaro anyway.

So we have a writer being asked to do something entirely pointless by someone whose judgment he clearly does not respect. And - get this - we have the solution to saving Skaro miraculously involving retconning every single Dalek story with Davros in it. John Peel's revenge is not just to kill off Davros, but totally nullify all bar one story he appeared in. They no longer have any relevance or purpose, nothing that occured in them truly mattered and the only Dalek stories that count are the ones from 1975 backwards.

Compare and contrast to Lawrence Miles (whose break-out book Alien Bodies, we should remember, debuted directly after this). In Interference, he also nullifies important parts of Doctor Who as Faction Paradox wipe Planet of the Spiders from history and replace it with his own stuff. To his credit, Miles doesn't say this is a good thing. His point being that the past is not set in stone and nothing is safe. Peel, however, clearly expects fans everywhere to wipe their brows and gasp "Oh thank god!" when told twelve episodes of the Davros DVD boxset no longer count. Miles attacked fandom's preconceptions of accepted Doctor Who, while Peel bluntly assumes everyone already agrees with him.

That retcon, again, is ridiculous. It's ill-thought out and badly-plotted. Let's review it.

The Daleks invading Earth in, er, The Dalek Invasion of Earth, manage to uncover a perfectly-preserved colour vlog of Rachel Jenson (because 1963 Counter-Measures had portable colour TV cameras for their staff to make badly-explained verbal reports). Exactly why the frankly-loopy Daleks were interested in mankind's history of which Barbara proved they would fail even the easiest round of Are You Smarter Than A Fifth-Grader, is not explained. Anyway, Rachel has conveniently left them a video message that is completely useless for anything else than warning Daleks that Davros will one day nuke Skaro.

The Dalek Prime comes up with his awesome plan to both save Skaro and ensure the Daleks are reunited - and one can only imagine the bruises from John Peel's facepalms as he realized he couldn't just have the Daleks dig up Davros and shoot him right away, because he would enjoy writing that so much. No, they dig up Davros and, without waking him up transport him to the planet Antalin which has been terraformed, etc, so it looks exactly like Skaro. The idea is that this will fool everyone that Antalin is Skaro and anyone trying to blow the latter up with Gallifreyan superweapons will aim for the wrong one.

The Dalek Prime then comes up with a brilliant idea - to create the Movellans and pretend these rasta discobots are kicking their arses, so Davros will not be remotely surprised they've dug them up again and agree to help them. This does involve everyone who's actually WATCHED Destiny of the Daleks to ignore the bit where the Daleks shoot Lan the Movellan (an act that completely undermines the whole plan, especially as they are supposed to be allies) and that upon waking up, Davros immediately assumed he could order the Daleks about despite the fact he had, from his perspective, just been shot by them.

Given that the Daleks were not, actually, locked in a perpetual stalemate with the Movellans we have to wonder why they waited ninety years to rescue Davros when they needed him right away. Or why they used unreliable humanoid mercenaries and created a Dalek-killing disease which they then GAVE to Davros, who they didn't trust, rather than simply saying the war was still going and they still needed his help. If anything, this makes the Daleks of Resurrection look even more retarded than they already did.

The events of Revelation are, significantly, glossed over as it is a story that proves beyond doubt that Davros is capable of using his immense charm, cunning and callousness to independently achieve anything. John Peel hates the concept that Davros is anything other than a gargling lunatic, so has all evidence to the contrary quietly played down by everyone. At the end, the real Daleks capture Davros and this time actually get to phase two of the plan: yes, they create a whole white-gold species of Daleks, brainwash Davros to think he is in charge of them, and then go through the motions of Remembrance of the Daleks. Which does make you wonder why they didn't simply brainwash Davros right away instead of the elaborate ruse.

Now, all this turns out to be completely pointless as the Doctor programmed the Hand of Omega to wipe out Antalin no matter what Davros asked it to do. So if the Doctor hadn't been so completely fooled by the Movellans, et all that Antalin was Skaro (okay, I buy that, but Romana would surely have noticed they were in the wrong part of space) the plan would be ruined. The Seventh Doctor, you know the smart one, at no point checked that the solar system he was about to vaporize was the same one from the sixties. And even when he was collecting the Master's remains under the full scrutiny of the Time Lords (and Romana) he never noticed he was two star systems to the left of the one he nuked. Now, admittedly, there is a big scene where the Doctor sees the starcharts in the Imperial Dalek scoutship, presumably confirming his suspicions but even so it's a complete fluke the Doctor just happened to stumble across it.

So, to summarize - the Hand of Omega has been deployed, Skaro is safe and it was Antalin that was vaporized. (It's also worth noting that War of the Daleks reveals that Antalin is a water planet occupied by Daleks AFTER the events of this retcon. It seems further proof that John Peel just didn't give a shit.) The Doctor has not noticed the truth and for the rest of his seventh incarnation he and the Time Lords are convinced the right planet was blown up. What does the Dalek Prime do?

Kick it back for thirty years.

Yes, despite the plan having worked perfectly and the only stage left to wipe out the Dalek rebels, the not-the-Emperor-honest just sits there. And this is working on the assumption some wierd timey-wimey stuff shifted Davros two thousand years in the future (there's no evidence it was not left in orbit around Earth in 1963 and indeed Harry Sullivan's War suggests MI5 got to Davros first...)

Harry waved to his old friend with renewed optimism. 'Just you wait and see, old chap! Professor Conrad Gold, or my name's Davros! '
 

At the mention of that alien name, Major Sawyer's face went pale. 'What do you know about him ... I mean if?' he rapped.

Mr Fawcett-Smith glared at Harry as though he had just broken all the clauses of the Official Secrets Act with a single word. 'I say, Sullivan, steady on...'


And remember that HSW was written three years before Remembrance of the Daleks.

Then they wait for two separate groups to capture Davros and then bring him back to Skaro, and what's more even bring the Eighth Doctor along for the ride in the surprisingly-accurate belief that he poses absolutely no threat to the Dalek Empire and is just a spare back-up plan to stop Davros.

As for the man himself, he says:

I was trying to intrigue people with the idea that the ending of Remembrance isn't the whole story, and that the Daleks have something rather nasty up their metallic sleeves for the Doctor.The controversy seems to me to boil down to the fact that some people feel that by saying "No, Skaro wasn't blown up" I'm somehow ruining Ben Aaronovitch's story. I think this is rather an extreme view, which seems to imply that without Skaro's destruction, Ben's story has somehow become a piece of junk. Ben's story stands on its own meets, and nothing I write in War will alter this. All I am doing is saying in effect: "Ah. but there's something about the Daleks' long-range plans that Ben didn't know..." That seems to me to be the essence of many a good story.

So the merits, basically, involve absolutely everything that does not involve the Daleks. And that the moral dilemma of "did we do good" rests entirely on "helping the Dalek become a more efficient longterm Doctor Who monster" being a good thing in the audience.

Yes, it's ridiculous, inconsistent and almost insanely stupid but the retcon is not about making sense. It's not even about sparing Skaro, it's about making Davros look the way John Peel has always envisioned him: an overrated, useless jerk who ruins every single story he's in! There's not a sentence in the book Davros emerges from looking good - he's deluded, he's stupid, he doesn't even have standards because he'll willingly join the ancient enemy of the Thals. The narrative even has the Doctor say he prefers the Daleks to Davros in a sentence that would only be written prior to 2005:

He’s worse than the Daleks; at least they were created the way they are. Davros has no such excuse.

Let's just run through all the evidence Davros is a gibbering loon-bag who deserves to die.

The Doctor thinks Davros is crap:
‘Genocidal, xenophobic maniacs, number one in a seemingly endless series. Sam, this is Davros; Davros, this is Sam.’

‘His Daleks are dead,’ the Doctor said flatly. ‘He destroyed them.’

‘Yes, Doctor,’ Davros agreed. ‘You tricked me into using the Hand of Omega to destroy them.’


‘No, Davros,’ the Doctor countered. ‘You tricked yourself. I told you nothing but the truth. You unleashed its power and destroyed your world and your army. You’re powerless now.’


Two random characters mention him in passing:

‘I would assume that Davros is not well liked.’
 

‘He is despised, feared, and spat upon.’

 When the Thals try to control Davros the same way the mighty Dalek Prime did (put a bomb around his neck) there is this exchange:
‘A bomb?’ The Doctor snorted. ‘You think that will keep Davros in line? He’s also been exterminated, blown up, frozen and heaven knows how many more fates. And he’s escaped each one of them. A bomb isn’t going to worry him greatly. He’ll find a way around it.’
 

‘Are you always such a pessimist, Doctor?’

And when it's suggested that Davros might still be a worthy recurring enemy in Doctor Who:
‘You are insane,’ the Doctor decided finally, a look of horror on his face. ‘You know what Davros has done to the Daleks, and yet you’re willing to allow him to do the same to you! We’ve got to stop him. His insanity cannot be allowed to spread. He’s done this once to the Daleks, and I’m not going to allow him to do it again to the Thals.’

Subtle, huh?

But don't worry, Doctor, the Thals think Davros is crap too!
The Doctor was worrying unnecessarily. Davros was impotent, and could do nothing.

The moment Davros even tries to play a role in the plot, the Doctor switches him off:
‘I’ve shut down all of his power functions, leaving only life-support,’ the Doctor explained. ‘It means, among other things, that we won’t have to listen to him ranting.’

And a paragraph later some random guy is possessed by the spirit of John Peel:
‘Now it’s time to switch him off for good.’ He gestured with the rifle, and Sam and the Doctor moved slowly out of his way. ‘How do I do it, Doctor?’
 

The Time Lord said nothing. ‘Tell me or she dies.’ Harmon indicated Sam.
 

Almost immediately the Doctor rejoined, ‘Those two switches on the right.’

Sam looked at him quickly. Was his haste from the threat on her life or from finding someone prepared to bump off Davros without compunction?
 

Harmon moved in, and shot home two final switches on Davros’s control panel. Instantly, Davros shuddered, and the rest of the lights died out – and Sam got her answer.
 

‘No!’ the Doctor snapped, starting forward. Harmon held up the rifle threateningly. The Doctor halted, his face torn by emotions. ‘Harmon, killing Davros won’t solve anything.’

‘Wrong, Doctor.’ The man sighed. ‘It’ll stop some of my worst nightmares. And he’ll never cause the death of another living being.’


Sam glanced at Davros, who seemed frozen in place. Was he already dead? She knew that she was witnessing murder, and that she should do something. But what? And did she really want to risk her life to try and save a mass murderer? She was torn between her principles and her knowledge that Davros was utterly evil.


You'll notice everyone's more interested in discussing morality and have all given up on Davros until the evil Thal turns out and shoots the heroic would-be-Davrocidal maniac, saving Davros (who has only had about eight lines of dialogue in the whole book so far).

‘Turn Davros’s life support back on, Doctor,’ Delani ordered. ‘Or I kill your friends.’
 

The Doctor looked from the gun to Davros to Sam and back to Delani. ‘So you can continue with your insane plan?’ he asked. ‘I will only do as you ask if you give me your word that Davros will be held for trial.’
 

‘No deal, Doctor,’ Delani snapped.


On the bright side, it means we get more chances to insult and pick on Davros, yay!

Delani examined the explosive collar still around Davros’s neck. ‘It seems that the Doctor was right. You have been busy.’

Davros said nothing. He clearly regretted only that his attempt had failed.


Delani turned back to Cathbad. ‘Watch him from now on,’ he ordered. ‘Put a power lock on his chair, with a dead man’s switch. If anything happens to you, I want his power packs to be drained instantly, killing him.’ He turned back to Davros. ‘You understand that I will give you no more chances?’
 

‘Perfectly,’ Davros grated. ‘However, I am willing to work with you as you desire, on one condition.’ His head turned. ‘Kill the Doctor.’

Delani raised an eyebrow. ‘You will work for me without any conditions,’ he stated. ‘And what happens to the Doctor will not be because of your desires.’


Yeah, show that story-ruining 80s plot device who's boss, Generic Thal overlord!

Davros whirled to face the door as it slid open. To his surprise, the Red Dalek in the doorway did not fire. Instead, it regarded him steadily. ‘Why have you spared your foes?’ he asked. ‘Surely the Daleks have not developed mercy?’ He almost spat the word out.

‘No,’ the Red Dalek acknowledged. ‘But we have developed wisdom.’ It considered a moment, and then added, ‘The Doctor and his companions have also been spared.’


Davros was almost beside himself with rage. ‘The Doctor is alive?’ he exclaimed. ‘No! That must not be! It is he who tricked me into destroying Skaro! He must be exterminated!’


The Dalek turned away, apparently indifferent.


Yes, even the Daleks are ignoring him now. That wuss Nicholas Briggs given a similar scenario had Davros do a creepy Hannibal Lector mind-rape on a Dalek until it panicked and shoved its sucker over his mouth to shut him up. Peel wouldn't waste the wordcount and has him kept out of sight for as long possible.

So, given an opportunity to show Davros as adaptable, intelligent and imaginative... we see he's a braindead moron who cannot accept simple facts:

‘Wait,’ Davros said, scanning all that he could see. ‘Where am I? What world is this?’
 

‘You are on Skaro,’ the Red Dalek replied.
 

‘No!’ Davros exclaimed. ‘That is not possible! I destroyed Skaro.’ He whirled to face the Red Dalek. ‘You are lying!’

‘No,’ the Dalek answered. ‘This is Skaro. You are in error.’


Davros realised that he would get no further arguing with the creature. He powered his chair and moved forward again, trying to assimilate this information. The Dalek believed it was on Skaro, which was absurd. Skaro was dead – this was some other world. Perhaps the Daleks had simply renamed it Skaro after they had occupied it. ‘Skaro’ after all, was simply the word for ‘home’ in the old Kaled tongue. It would be typical of the rigid-minded Daleks to do that. And the lesser ranks, not being bred for their intellectual prowess, simply assumed that this world was the original Skaro, having known no other.
 

Davros pondered his children. They were stagnant and self-delusional. He could see why some were seeing him as their messiah, their hope for a new and more glorious... well, Skaro, if they insisted.
 

And he would make certain they would get it. With Davros as their leader, how could the cause possibly fail?

Yes. If you're imagining Davros as anything other than Baldrick in a Dalek casing, you're not paying attention - though with his delusions of grandeur, bad luck and total incompetence he's more like the first Black Adder.

‘The attempted revolution will be allowed to take place. Those who deviate from my law will be exposed and annihilated. I allowed Davros to go through with his foolish plan to utilise the Hand of Omega so that all Daleks would see that his madness could have led to their destruction. They must see that he is unstable and unworthy to lead them.’

‘And what if they don’t?’ the Doctor asked quietly. ‘What if they still decide that they prefer Davros to you?’
 

‘I have run an extensive computer simulation of the forthcoming rebellion. There is a thirty-nine-per-cent chance that Davros will succeed.’

So the fundamental revelation is that any Daleks who prefer Davros are so criminally-stupid that they don't deserve to live. They don't even get a fifty-fifty chance. And the Doctor is morally-opposed to the Daleks and all they stand for but he's perfectly willing to be their bitch as long as Davros dies.

The Dalek Prime knew that the Doctor understood the menace that Davros represented, and knew that he would do his utmost to destroy Davros.

‘I promise I will kill Davros if his revolution succeeds.’

‘Good. I knew you would be reasonable, Doctor.’


Because only unreasonable people would want Davros alive. And don't think the Daleks buy into the hype of Davros being awesome like all the lame-ass fans and writers...

‘I see no need for a trial,’ Davros complained. ‘Since the verdict has already been reached, this is a waste of time.’

The Black Dalek regarded him impassively. ‘The trial is necessary,’ it informed him. ‘You must condemn yourself – as we know you shall.’


Arrogance! Well, that was hardly its fault, since he had programmed it into their matrix. ‘I should not be placed on trial. I am your creator. Without me, you would be nothing. You should be praising me and following me.’


‘You are an irrational, inferior humanoid-derivative,’ the Black Dalek replied. ‘You are to be exterminated, not followed.’


‘I created you,’ Davros told it.


‘Incorrect,’ the Dalek stated. ‘I was created by the neutron war. You merely accelerated the process. The Daleks would have arisen anyway in the fullness of time. The universe was ready for the rise of the Daleks. It was inevitable.’



Yeah, "creator of the Daleks" my shiney metal ass! Peel much prefers the old sixties comic strips to that pinko commie propaganda of Genesis of the Daleks! So not only is Davros an easily-manipulated, gullible moron his one claim to fame has been ripped away!

‘Daleks,’ the Dalek Prime grated, his amplified voice echoing about the room. ‘We are assembled to accuse Davros of betraying our race. He has attempted to steal our heritage, destroy our ancestral home, and usurp the power of the Daleks for his own purposes. He has not learnt from his follies. He must be annihilated to prevent further contamination of our species.’

You remember when Davros used to be an erudite and vicious chessmaster whose verbal eloquence could stop in their tracks people who had guns pointed at his head? Peel doesn't.


‘First, that you have no right to charge me with anything,’ Davros replied. ‘I created you all. Without me, there would be no Daleks, no destiny for our race – and no asinine trial being held. Without me, you would not be here to accuse me so foolishly. Secondly, as your creator, I should logically be the one to lead you. I alone know what is best for the Daleks. I alone know how to shape and manipulate our joint destinies. You are a Dalek, like all of the other Daleks here, and should have no power over the rest. You, like them, should logically recognise your one, true leader – myself.’

The Doctor raised an eyebrow. ‘I think he’s getting a trifle too messianic here,’ he murmured. ‘Davros has always favoured arrogance over intelligence.’

The Dalek Prime spoke again. ‘Your statements are irrelevant,’ he announced. ‘You did not create the Daleks – our creation was a fortuitous consequence of war. We were destined to become the race we are today. Instead of allowing destiny to run its course, you interfered. That was the first time that you attempted to usurp the power of the Daleks. It was not the last. These travel machines we use were created by the scientists of the Kaled race. You took credit for their work to lend support to your claim of supremacy.


Day-amm! So on top of everything else, Davros wasn't even good at middle-management? Harsh!


‘The first Daleks understood your futile madness when they elected to destroy you. Your madness has brought us time and again to the brink of destruction. Yet you still claim that we should follow you. Following you would lead to the destruction of the Dalek species. You are accused of attempts to steal power over the Daleks, and of attempting to destroy Skaro. Respond to these charges only.’

‘The charges are ridiculous,’ he replied. ‘I am only seeking what should be mine by right of being your creator. And the destruction of Skaro was accomplished by the creature known as the Doctor – whom you are protecting. Do you deny that he is here, in this city, at this very moment?’


‘Irrelevant,’ the Dalek Prime responded. ‘The Doctor is not on trial here.’

‘And why not?’ Davros cried.


Keen legal insight there, Davros. Even Sam Jones - the most detested companion in all the Whoniverse, even more than Thomas Brewster - laughs in his face.

‘That’s his defence?’ Sam asked.


‘I don’t think he’s making a defence,’ the Doctor replied. ‘Davros is completely out of touch with reality.’


And so are you if you think Davros is a good character!

With Davros unable to string a set of words together, the Dalek Prime and the Gold Dalek take turns bullying him and telling him how much he sucks. Even Brian in Family Guy gets left with more self-respect and dignity!



The Dalek Prime was continuing his attack. ‘If the Daleks had followed Davros as he claims they should, then the Dalek race would now be utterly annihilated. His own deviant force of renegade Daleks were so destroyed, leaving him defenceless. If Davros were to lead the Daleks, his egotism and insanity would result in our total destruction. You admit that the Doctor out-thought you and manipulated you. He defeated you. He has not defeated me. He, too, believed Skaro to have been destroyed. You have condemned yourself by your own testimony. You have failed in your quest for power, and you have almost destroyed the Daleks in your insane desires.’
 

‘True, the Hand of Omega turned out to be a trap. But if it had not, then imagine what power would have been ours! The Daleks would have been the lords of all of time and space! We could have achieved our aims in years, instead of millennia! We could be masters of the galaxy – of the universe!’

‘Delusions,’ the Gold Dalek stated. ‘None of these things happened. Your foolish insistence on taking unwarranted risks created grave danger for the Dalek race. You are a threat to Dalek survival. Why did you not test the Hand of Omega first on Earth’s sun instead of targeting the Dalek star?’
 

‘Such a test would have wasted time,’ Davros replied.
 

‘So you elected to risk destroying the Dalek species instead of exercising reasonable caution,’ the Dalek Prime pointed out. ‘You aimed for the position of ultimate power and failed. In the same way, you have tried to take over control of the Dalek empire – and failed. If you had achieved the power you desired, only the Daleks you had created would have shared in it. None of the Daleks here on Skaro would have been a part of your plan. You would have utilised your power to annihilate us.’
 

‘All Daleks who do not acknowledge me as their creator and master should die!’ Davros exclaimed. ‘Without me, you are nothing!’

‘Without you,’ the Gold Dalek interjected, ‘we are the masters of space. Our armies are unstoppable. We are achieving victory on many worlds. Once you are gone, the Dalek race will continue as a unified race. We shall obliterate all inferior species.’


At this point Peel's hatred is clearly getting incredibly viscious. Give the guy a break, Johnny!

‘The trial is over. You have admitted your desire to rule the Daleks, even though you have destroyed all Daleks loyal to you. You have admitted that the Doctor has outwitted and defeated you. You have admitted that you caused the destruction of the world you insist was Skaro.’ The Dalek Prime surveyed the assembled Daleks. ‘Are there any who would speak on behalf of Davros at this time?’

Davros had expected the silence. Any Dalek foolish enough to speak up now would deserve the extermination it would get.


The Dalek Prime slowly surveyed the room. ‘None,’ he finally summarised. ‘Davros stands alone. His insanity is clear to all. The decision is obvious.’ He turned to face Davros.‘From your own words, you stand condemned. You cannot be allowed to live. You are to be taken for annihilation. The Dalek race will be out of your control for ever.’

It's enough to make you wonder if Michael Wisher, David Gooderson and Terry Molloy have taken out restraining orders when Peel starts shoving bags of burning dog shit through their letter boxes...

The long-awaited Dalek civil war (cause that really is a great idea for the printed page, with "Dalek shoots other Dalek" gripping the reader like a dead jellyfish) is confined to the penultimate two chapters and is dismissed on the first page as being a foregone conclusion. Davros doesn't even get to pretend to stand a chance and immediately decides to leg it one minute after the firing starts...

For the first time, Davros began to wonder if he was out-thinking the Dalek Prime after all. It was vital that he have an escape route, in case his plans didn’t work out. ‘Concentrate our forces. We must take the spaceport first, and then the control centre.’

As expected, Davros’s forces had gone for the spaceport first. Typical – he was preparing for his own escape. But the Dalek Prime had foreseen such a move...

Davros was retreating, as was to be expected. Though he had boasted that he led his troops, this was a lie, as usual. Davros was very concerned with preserving what little was left of his own skin. His forces needed the spaceport in case of retreat. Davros always prepared for defeat, even when he was convinced of his own infallible ability to win. He was insane, but no fool.

The Dalek Prime could not afford to allow Davros the opportunity to escape. This civil war had to end here and now. The Dalek race must be unified and pure again. If Davros were to flee, everything the Dalek Prime had planned for would be for nothing. It would all have to be fought over again. Whatever happened, Davros must die.

Davros has an army of Special Weapons Daleks - but don't think that's impressive because the Dalek Prime simply cuts the lift cables and every single one of them is killed without firing a single shot. Because the Dalek Prime is awesome and Davros sucks, so Davros cannot possibly have any military genius of any kind despite you know having spent his entire life fighting a war.

It was such an obvious move. Davros had been a great help, without intending it. He must have insisted his forces all send a low-frequency signal to identify themselves. Now they had discovered this signal, the Dalek Prime’s warriors could identify them too. Each supporter of Davros had been branded, and they could all be hunted down and exterminated. The Dalek race would be cleansed of its imperfections.

In the control room, the Dalek Prime felt only satisfaction, knowing that he was still out-thinking his greatest foe. Davros would not win this conflict. Such a thing was unthinkable.

Yes, that's unthinkable in the sense of "impossible to concieve" rather than "really, really bad." Literally, the smartest Dalek ever can't actually imagine a loser like Davros winning. And just to remind everyone, Davros is a complete moron.

‘The unit at the power station is under assault,’ the Black Dalek announced. ‘They are unable to pull back.’
 

‘Then tell them to fight and die there!’ Davros cried. ‘We need more troops to attack the tower.’

‘All available units are being brought in,’ the Black Dalek informed him. ‘The battle will continue.’ It paused. ‘Our margin for success has been reduced.’


‘Reduced, perhaps,’ Davros growled. ‘But not destroyed. We shall win through! It is my destiny to lead the Daleks to the complete conquest of the entire galaxy! I shall succeed!’


Thousands of Daleks had so far died in this battle. Davros felt no concern about that. It was what the Daleks were designed for, battle and death. They had achieved their purpose. But all of their deaths meant nothing if he was still not in power. There still had to be a way to salvage the situation.

The very next paragraph has every last one of Davros' Daleks nuked and him taken captive. He's not even allowed a dignified death.

Davros realised that he had finally been defeated. His power play had come to nothing. ‘Do as you will,’ he challenged them. ‘Exterminate me! Seal your own sterile future! Without me, you are nothing!’

‘You are not to be exterminated,’ one of the Gold Daleks declared. ‘You will accompany us. Your madness has run its course. The Dalek race has been purged of your insanity. We who are left are of one mind. You will see this, and then die.’


The Dalek Prime was waiting for him in the matter-transfer chamber. His eye stalk surveyed him coldly. ‘You have lost, Davros,’ he stated. ‘Your folly has taken part of the Dalek race with you. But we who survive are stronger for it. All that remains is to finally destroy you.’

‘Destroy me, and you destroy your own future,’ Davros warned him. ‘Without me, you have no hope. I can give you vision! I can give you purpose! I can show you your destiny!’


‘No,’ the Dalek Prime answered. ‘Your purpose is insanity. Your destiny is death. The Daleks will go on without you.’


‘I created you!’ Davros insisted. ‘You owe me everything that you are.’


‘No,’ the Dalek Prime contradicted him. ‘You helped create us. We have changed. We have improved. We have become a different species. I have experimented on myself. I have altered the genetic code that you laid down. I am no longer what I once was. I am the future for the Daleks. You are not. In moments your atoms will be taken apart and scattered through space, in a ring about our sun. You will not survive matter dispersal. This is your end, Davros – and the way ahead for the Dalek race!’


Oh, the subtext! And then, just to pour quicklime on the already salt-filled wound Peel gives a final sneering up-yours to Nation by giving an open-ended scene that implies Davros could survive. Except, given there is clearly no desire whatsoever to do a sequel to War of the Daleks where Davros is revealed to be alive, it feels perverse. The whole book has established

a) Davros is complete crap
b) nothing he ever did actually mattered
c) he no longer has a supporter of any kind anywhere in the universe

Indeed, killing Davros off after all this humiliation is positively merciful!

So. Davros is going to be placed in a sabotaged teleporter and then tele-fragged out of existence. But what's this - there's a Spider Dalek as his executioner and Davros asked one of his Spider Dalek pals earlier on to rescue him from the execution!

Except there's no evidence that this is the same Spider Dalek. There's no evidence that Spider Dalek even survived that chapter-and-a-half of war. And it's entirely possible it's actually there to do its task and kill him.

Davros stared at the Spider Dalek. Was this his hidden ally? He could not tell, he could only hope. Perhaps the game was not yet over...

The Dalek Prime watched with considerable satisfaction as the matter-transfer unit came on-line. ‘The battle is over and won, Davros,’ he announced. ‘Your time is finished.’

‘You need me!’ Davros insisted. ‘I can be of help to you! I can improve the Dalek race!’


‘You are of help to me by dying,’ the Dalek Prime answered. ‘And the Dalek race can improve itself. You are not needed.’ To the watching Gold Daleks, he ordered: ‘Place him in the unit.’


‘No!’ Davros snarled, as he was pushed back towards the tube. ‘You cannot destroy me! I will not allow it!’ As the tube hissed shut, he screamed, ‘You cannot be rid of me this easily!’


The Dalek Prime said, ‘We can.’ To the Spider Dalek, he commanded, ‘Dispersal pattern – engage.’
 

Davros was still saying something inaudibly as the tube lit up. The power grid glowed, and the figure gradually lost its cohesion and resolution, tiny particles of matter seeming to spatter against the glass until, finally, the power died down and the tube was empty.

‘Dispersal complete,’ the Spider Dalek reported. ‘Davros is destroyed.’


‘Good,’ the Dalek Prime said.


I think it's the "spattering particles" that pretty much illustrate Davros is dead, in a scene very similar to that in Destiny of the Daleks except with Peel in charge so instead of Davros being frozen he dies in fear and misery like the pathetic no-fist loser he is!

Davros was dead, and his entire faction purged from the Dalek race. It was time to move on. Though the war had cost the Daleks much, they had survived, and would soon be stronger than ever. They were all of one mind – the Dalek Prime’s mind – and one purpose.

‘We will rebuild,’ he stated. ‘We will grow stronger. And then we will strike. The galaxy will be ours. Such is the destiny of the Daleks. Nothing will stand before us! Nothing!’


And yet no one took him up on that, did they?

As I said, War of the Daleks is a wholly-remarkable book. No one liked it. No one even hated it enough to do a book retconning the retcon as a bad bit of theatre on the Dalek Prime's part, that Skaro was really destroyed and the whole fake Davros thing was just propaganda (and there's more evidence in the book itself to support that than the actual retcon). Certainly no one looked at the "new, unified" Dalek Empire and thought "Wow! What opportunities shall unfold now!" because War of the Daleks exists solely to fulfill an article by the same author's claim that he tells the complete story. He's not interested in relaunching the Daleks as a credible threat, or having future adventures against the Doctor. He just wants the chronology he wrote to be accurate, so Evil of the Daleks is the last story ever. Had Season 27's proposed Dalek story Hellbound to Skaro been made, the retcon would probably have encompassed that too.

This is, I believe what really pisses folk off. It's not the retcon that the last four Dalek stories were bluffs, it's that you're being told you're some kind of class traitor for disagreeing with John Peel. Rescuing Skaro achieves nothing, since it's only there to set the other Dalek stories as immutable, unchangeable fact. The Dalek timeline is set in stone, apart from the ones Peel doesn't like. There are no other Dalek stories left to be told, and even Peel himself couldn't do more than squeeze a few drops out of The Dalek Invasion of Earth. The previous Eighth Doctor stories may have been wallowing in the past, but War of the Daleks actively closes off the future, not only being a big "Up Yours!" to fandom and Terry Nation but anyone else who might have wanted to write a Dalek story. Being published just a few months after Nation's death, it feels like Peel has gone all King Joffrey on his throne, revelling in power he has no use for.

Peel's professional background covered up the fact that this book wasn't just crap, it was the worst sort of fan fiction - forcing a long held and ill-thought out belief on the canon and undermining everyone real or fictional that got in the way. The Dalek Prime is a Ben Chatham Mary Sue, while Davros and everything to do with him is demolished like Spartha Jones or Donna Ignoble. But worst of all is the sense of smugness that bleeds from the pages, like we should be grateful for this.

And it's not like there aren't some good bits in the book - Chayn, the Thal anti-Dalek armor, the concept that the Movellans were designed as mockeries of how Daleks see human beings, the Doctor murdering a Dalek with the sonic screwdriver, the neat trick of jamming every door on Skaro half-open so only non-Daleks can get anywhere, the poignant lament of a doomed Mechanoid, Thals genetically-engineering themselves into super warriors, the ultra-creepy polite and reasonable Dalek Prime, the interludes making it clear the Dalek war machine covers all the galaxy and no one can avoid them...

But it's clear these are happy accidents. John Peel isn't interested in these sparkles of ingenuity. It's all padding around a plot composed entirely of the paragraphs from a ten year old tie-in book full of unacceptable inaccuracies (like glass Daleks in the first TV story).

John Peel didn't care what anyone said about his writing or his retcon. He'd torn up Doctor Who and the Daleks and forged it into what he liked. Everyone else could go fuck themselves - and this, more than the cliched dialogue, the Thal fetishism or the downright tedious plotting that gave the gut-instinct hatred that all fandom have for this. Terra Firma ignores War of the Daleks' continuity, but it does the same plot of killing off Davros and rebuilding a new Dalek Empire as a direct consequence - but TF focusses on the journey, while War of the Daleks insults the audience from the destination outwards.

Plus, the cover's crap. Two negative Daleks reflected in an eyeball? Is that the best they could think of?

Monday, October 3, 2011

Oh, for crying out loud...

Well, seen The Wedding of River Song.

...

THIS is Moffat's attempt to resolve story arcs and make things less complicated for the innocent newbie audiences? Bhudda in blender, I'd hate to see him go overboard on the continuity refs... I mean, seriously, didn't he get all of this out his system last year in The Big Bang? Or A Good Man Goes To War? Has he completely forgotten how to do a linear, self-contained episode? Has he some brain injury that NEEDS to write Pulp-Fiction-style sketch shows?

I mean, don't get me wrong, I was entertained... and amused... and punched the air when Madam Kavorian got her just desserts... but I am no longer impressed by this whole "trying to cram 12 episodes of plot into the pre-credit sequence". Is there no halfway point between this and Mark Gatiss' "drag every second out" approach?

(I did like Mark Gatiss getting a suitable reward for his crimes with Night Terrors though. I hope it hurt! A LOT!)

Please. No more alternate timelines based around catastrophic doomsday events that are hastily undone in a blizzard of cross-cuts and special effects (though I did like the fact the beach scene was how things SHOULD have unfolded rather than something to be retconned) and the last scene really was a head banger.

The Doctor says, basically, from now on it'll be like the old days when he was an unknown intruder rather than God In A Bowtie With The Universe On Speed Dial. And then he gets told of ANOTHER fucking story arc of doom he must inevitably face. Worse, absolutely nothing about the silence is explained - what the hell happened at the end of Vampires in Venice? Why did they try and blow up the TARDIS? HOW did River turn up at the wedding? And the idea she had a vortex manipulator during the Byzantium story is a bit dumb - why didn't she USE it, for example? And, seriously, the Question might not have been SO COMPLETELY obvious that the audience needed to be told what it was, but having Orac Mark 2 scream it over and over again in the final scene really achieve much? It sounds stupid and always has done if you ask me. And why was there that photo of Amy in the orphanage? Where were the Nazis from the series six trailer?

And just how many departure scenes have Rory and Amy had now? What, five or six? Even Rose only needed the two!

It's not QUITE reached the point where Doctor Who is just a string of Little Britian style skits playing the SAME SODDING PUNCHLINES OVER AND OVER AGAIN. But it is getting close and I am not in the slightest reassured that Moff has "big plans" about 2013's even-less-episodes-than-2009 budget-strapped saga.

ENOUGH OF THE FREAKING BIG IDEAS! GO FOR SOMETHING SMALLER FROM NOW ON!

I'd just like to say that I successfully predicted

- what the eyepatches were for
- how the Doctor survives being killed
- what the Question was
- what the Silents would say to Rory
- why Winston was confused
- what the Doctor was whispering in River's ear... well, at the time...
- whether Amy's gun was loaded
- who River killed
- the Daleks would get even more humiliated than the Cybermen in AGMGTW, and also have their colour schemes very quietly forgotten... I think. Could have been that colour from dust, I agree.
- that there was no way the ongoing story arc would be concluded.

So, in summary, much more enjoyable as a DVD box set than thirteen weeks of overlabored continuity (ironic, as the ratio of story arc to story was about the same as last years, just way less subtle and enjoyable).

Frankly, I think the Eleventh Doctor's getting a better deal here.

What does the Emperor have to say?

3/10. Mediocre, rambling and boring to watch.

(NOTE: he then reposted his Season 4 pitch about the horse-rustling Cyber-goons, the meddling monk, BOSS and yet another alien in Silbury Hill as a perfect example of what SHOULD have been in the episode.)

Anything from Mad Lary?

...

Just more homophobic abuse to everyone involved in Torchwood: Miracle Day and insistance that Chris Chibnall is nicking Mad Larry's ideas... despite the fact Chibnall hasn't been involved in Torchwood for three years now...

Nala Snevets?

What? "Silence will fall" is stolen from Terry Nation's "it's too quiet" cliches (AKA the Golden Age of British telefantasy)? And the subtext is that it's all based on your childhood when you spent many hours alone arguing with non-existent people about your deeper interpretation of events? I concede, your "yeah, well, I may not be a policeman but next door might be" argument follows the exact pattern as your "Olag Gan is a cat strangling rapist as long as you don't listen to absolutely everyone involved with the character" diatribe, so you might be onto something.

(blows out cheeks)

Same time next year lads?

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Last year the not-entirely-inaccurately-named Brilliant Book of Doctor Who was released onto the bookshelves with the psychic seed of the Dream Lord giving out a truly amazing list of unreliable spoilers for the oncoming series and so, out of mild boredom as I return to the discon parody guides, here they are...

The Doctor will be on trial - twice!
Well... he wasn't. Unless River and Dorium's lectures to him count.

Who controls the Light Sculptors?
No idea. Sounds like a better plot than Night Terrors. Which is probably why they're in The Sarah-Jane Adventures - too good for Gatiss!

You won't believe what's buried under Wembley Stadium
Because there's nothing there? Or is this another Quatermass homage?

Scared of the Eye in Space? You should be
Because unmade Troughton stories are classics, damn it! Be afraid - remember the Atraxi!

Take up thy sins and walk - slowly
Gibberish misquote from the bible. Unless it's the Headless Monk's motto or something.

"There won't be a pub quiz on Tuesday because there won't be a pub!"
Absolute bollocks. Possibly quoted from Men Behaving Badly.

Beau Geste is cool
A book by PC Wren and clearly a gag.

Bow Street Runners are cool
London's first professional police box and clearly a running gag.

Bromley-by-Bow is cool
A district of London and an over-milked gag.

4 August 1982 - Happy Birthday, Ma'am
The Queen's birthday. Maybe the Dream Lord's being a royal suck up? Be fair though, she is a true fan - the only BBC Controller she refuses to knight is Michael Grade - though that could equally be for what he did to the Goodies...

Some lies are too much for the psychic paper
In A Christmas Carol, the Doctor cannot get it to say he is a responsible adult.

"I won't take calls from THAT prime minister!"
Some kind of Margaret Thatcher gag, probably best edited out, like that speech in The Pandorica Opens when the Doctor shouts that Sontarans are all fags and he's not scared of nancy-boy poofs like them.

"Marc, where are you?"
Not in this series. He's a bit busy stuffing up Ace's farewell for Big Finish.

The only water in the forest is the river.
A quote from The Doctor's Wife and A Good Man Goes to War, explaining why Pond = River in other languages.

What awaits the TARDIS at the Zero Point?
Not a lot.

"12 years on and Rory's still terrified of Granny Grainer."
Not a clue. Cut dialogue probably best cut?

"I was lost in France"
Aren't we all? Another song - Bonny Tyler, this time.

"How could a fellow Gallifreyan stoop so low?"
An infamous false DWM quote from The Time Meddler, and just as genuine now. You could say it applies to Melody in LKH when she is a) technically a fellow Gallifreyan and b) stooping low.

Horror of Bangkok
Very amusing. Well, funnier than The Horror of Glam Rock, anyway.

"Give it up, Sueet Korn!"
...unless this has something to do with the Leadworth crop circle, I think Monsieur Dream Lord is extracting the wee wee by now.

Argonite? Here?
Thankfully, not even the current production team was demented to do a sequel to The Space Pirates. Though I think Dylan Moran would be a good Milo Clancey.

An ordinary block of flats
The setting of Night Terrors.

"If I saw them walking down the High Street what would I think?"
"I don't think you'd think anything at all, Amy."

A cut scene from Day of the Moon, maybe?

Find the Lady - before she finds you!
Madam Kavorian, AKA Eyepatch Lady. (And a gag on the find-the-lady card trick, if anyone cares).

"Margaret! Come back!"
Meh. No idea.

The Doctor defeats the Sahara Desert
Again, something far more interesting than Night Terrors.

Susannah's still alive!
A song by the Kinks, clearly meant to bewilder us into thinking the Doctor's granddaughter isn't a heap of dust in Kasterboros.

Mill Green on fire
Presumably some kind of insurance fraud by BBC Wales by setting fire to their own special effects department. Or a golf course. Or a restraurant the Green Mill which mysterious caught fire in 2008.

The Doctor will get married - twice
In A Christmas Carol and The Wedding of River Song, obviously. And technically The Doctor's Wife.

What are the dangers of Port Olveron?
No idea. Was that the name of the acid factory in Gangers?

502 but never 503
The time being frozen in TWORS.

Beware of the Kites
Alas, no sequel to Greatest Show in the Galaxy unfolded. This is a sign quite common at kite festivals, BTW.

"A pillar of salt, yes - but not because she looked back, looking back is good!"
Obviously Lot's Wife. What's this got to do with anything, I dunno, but it does sound like a bit of cut dilaogue about the Silents.

They'll have to get a new name for thanksgiving
Unless BBC America has a special Thanksgiving episode, I doubt it.

Pay attention - it's not really her
Amy is actually being a ganger for the first half-dozen eps.

Treading through the sand - on the one night they come back
No idea.

The Shuddering Brethren, they'll stick in your mind
Only if you listen to Round the Horne.

"I'm my own Doctor"
The Ganger Doc?

Octavian wasn't lying
Well, River killed the Doctor, a hero to many, so... yeah.

Mysterious Semblance at the Strand of Nightmares
A Tangerine Dream song with a pretentious title. Is Joshua Wynne behind this?

The bones of the TARDIS
A reference to the TARDIS graveyard in The Doctor's Wife, natch.

Friday, January 28, 2011

Hang On...

Robots of Death is utter bollocks!

It's amazing, but it seems after all these years of fandom self-hypnosis and Kaldor City's reinterpretation of basic facts, but the scales have fallen from my eyes.

I suppose the first clue was the production team decrying the whole script as rubbish and coming up with way-out sets and fashions to distract the audience from the plot. And, yes, admittedly, the Big Brother killer robots basic plot is a pretty neat idea, the acting is pretty decent and you'd have to be a total git not to put it in the top twenty BUT...

...

Just think about the plot and why things happen in the story.

Just THINK.

...

Exactly, it's utter crap!

OK, you want more evidence?

Take Taren Capel. Does anything about this guy make sense? He was raised from a child only by robots. Why? What happened to his family? Someone must have paid for the upkeep of his robots! It all suggests the Capels were one of the Founding Families, the rich elite, which makes it even wierder that if - say - some disaster killed all but baby Taren, the other families wouldn't chip in and help out. The FF's loyalty to each other is mentioned time and time again. What's more, even D84 thinks Taren's a freak for being brought up by machines, so why didn't anyone stage an intervention for the first thirty years of the guy's life?!

The lunacy doesn't end there. Taren becomes a recluse, meets no one, has no photographs taken, no one ever sees him... yet he becomes an incredible computer genius that the mighty Company respects and fears. But they never saw him face to face or even, apparently, spoke to him. He only ever communicated by LETTERS.

Yes, and why isn't Kaldor City paperless given there ARE NO BLOODY TREES ON THE PLANET?!?

One can only imagine how Taren got his reputation - did he post revolutionary new ideas bit by bit in return for cash? It was lucky the Company didn't find out his post code and raid the place. But even if this strange relationship evolved, we have to wonder why Taren "KILL ALL HUMANS" Capel wanted their money in the first place as he clearly had some kind of huge income to raise him and, of course, pay for all his machinery and stuff. I mean, why did he want to get in the good books of the people he wanted to murder? The moment he worked out how to break the Asimov rules in one robot he had, according to the Doctor and others, the means to end civilization.

So. You're Taren Capel. You have worked out the incredible truth you can make every robot a killer with five minutes and a laserson probe, the equivalent of brain surgery with a buzzsaw and a carrot - even Chris Boucher balked at the idea you could perform such a change and later retconned this. But go with it. You have the power to overthrow civilization.

What do you do?

Well, Taren Capel wrote some really mean letters.

Yes. Just that. We never find out what the hell he wrote in them, but apparently he threatened to end civilization as Kaldor City knows it unless... actually, Taren didn't really HAVE an "unless", did he? He wanted to overthrow humanity. It was unlikely getting SuperVocs tea breaks would stem his blood-dimmed tide. So, basically, Taren wrote to the company and WARNED them what he was going to do. Yet, a huge part of his plan seems to rely on no one ever suspecting robots can harm human beings. Sending a letter saying he will do just that might kill the mood.

Now, the Company apparently decided to take these warnings seriously.

"Seriously".

They chose their most robophobic agent... paired him with a ROBOT... and then installed him on a sandminer.

Hang on a minute. WHAT?

Why do they think Taren Capel's going to start his reign of robot rebellion on Storm Mine 4? Why not in the robot factories in the city or whatever creepy swinging bachelor pad Taren lives in? The only answer is either

a) Taren actually TOLD them he's be on SM4
b) the stamp on the letter accidentally gave it away.

So, let's look at that again. The Company knows that Taren Capel is on SM4. They know he is an evil genius and going to give the old college try to make robots go insane. Now, the best thing would be would be to stop the Sandminer leaving town, refuse anyone admittance and maybe blow the damn thing up. A thorough check might be a good idea at the very least. But no, they do nothing. They let the crew go aboard, none with any idea some nutter might be hiding aboard the ship with a vendetta. Does the Company care so little of human life? Probably, but consider what happens if Capel kills them all - no ore mined, civilization ends. Having the crew warned would make it utterly impossible for Taren Capel's plan to work, since they'd never fall into a false sense of security or be allowed to wander alone. Hell, the crew might have quit, so no mining, no chance for Taren Capel to work converting robots.

They don't do this.

They send in Anders "WALKING DEAD MEN!!!" Poul. With a robot SPECIFICALLY DESIGNED to stalk him. And a robot that has no protection if he randomly gets converted by Taren Capel. Meaning that, since Taren can expect them to investigate (what him WARNING THEM ALREADY), he can ambush them right from the start.

Does Taren do this?

No. He does absolutely sweet FA for six months until they're way out into the desert. Given there's no communication with KC, he could have struck five minutes into the tour. So why not? KC the series gives us the lame excuse that Taren was the master strategist, plotting his murders for maximum drammatic impact as though he was trying to make an entertaining sci-fi serial rather than a serial killing rampage. And isn't Taren very good at mingling with humans given he should surely be suffering reverse-robophobia at being surrounded by living people? Who he has never learned to live with since he spent his entire life with robots?

And then, to top it off, whenever he's in the same room as Poul, he makes a point of bigging up how awesome robots are in a clipped and precise manner that the Doctor spots a mile off. Even though everyone else on the mine thinks robots are lazy, dozy gits that are more trouble than they're worth.

I mean... WHAT?!

And so, six months after doing absolutely everything he can to be caught, Taren starts with the murders. Now, to demonstrate how awesomely powerful robots are, you think having them go on a Steve-Foxx-Style disembowling rampage would be a good move - five minutes of blood carnage, the whole crew dead, all the evidence the Company needs that the robots can go bad. Now, maybe you're thinking "Well, old TC doesn't want the Company to destroy all the robots in the city in rabid paranoia and so is going subtle". Well I say, SENDING THEM A DAMN LETTER wouldn't help?

Now, who is the first victim?

Is it Commander Uvanov which would cause panic confusion and the like?

No, it's some guy called Kerril no one cared about or even mentioned.

And then it's Chub.

And how are they killed? Only in such a way it could easily be blamed on human murderers rather than robots - which is hardly going to convince anyone of how dangerous the robots are. Taren THEN ensures all the murder victims are marked with discs that only HE on the ENTIRE mine could have known about or have access to. Like I say, it's a good thing the rest of the crew were morons or TC would have been sunk. It's only a fluke that D84 and Poul didn't round up the lot of them at the start of the tour on suspicion of being Taren Capel.

So, you think the insanity would dull off about now the TARDIS has arrived? But no.

Taren can't really be blamed for not factoring the Doctor and Leela into his plans...

...yet he seems to do exactly that.

At the end of part one, the Doctor is lured into a hopper with Kerril's body. Said hopper is then shut and filled with sand. Only a fluke of the Doctor's MacGuyver skills and SV7's spot check save him. The Doctor suggests that the murderer was trying to dispose of him because a "dead stowaway" is more suspicious than a live one. Say what now?

For a start, how the hell does Taren Capel organize this evil little stunt when he's shown to be stuck in the crew room with everyone else - it's not like he can sneak into the next room, put on his inquisition gown and order his robots to hunt down the Doctor and Leela, is it? How can he know the Doctor will go to the TARDIS? How can he know the Doctor and Leela will escape anyway? True, there IS a robot suspiciously listening to our heroes' banter but

a) it's not got the evil eyes
b) is presumably supposed to be D84 in the first place
c) it's gone before the Doctor and Leela mention their plan to escape back to the TARDIS in any event

All of this is borderline irrelevent: Taren wants the Doctor and Leela killed because...? What, they might not instantly get blamed for the murders? Despite the fact they do anyway? If Taren wants the crew to think the killer is human, the Doctor and Leela are perfect scapegoats. If he wants the crew to think the killer is a robot - which is what he's said to have been doing since day one - leading everyone to assume it was down to some complete strangers (who managed to appear in the middle of his secret experiment via undisclosed means that he should really be interested in just in case Company Security use similar methods to bring his ass down) is just stupid.

I mean, OK, maybe TC's just decided he wants such random factors killed. So why does he stop Borg strangling the Doctor - which would cast suspicion on both parties and keep everyone confused for his sick and sadistic pleasure?

Still, that's nothing compared to Poul. He's on the mine specifically because of threats of turning androids into murderers by someone smart enough to do it. Then murders start that clearly aren't down to human origin and, as the Doctor points out, very likely to be down to robots simply by logic. And not only does he fail to twig he actually goes to ask the Doctor, get TOLD, then laughs uproarishly at the very idea. Is this down to robophobia? Cause it just looks like Poul is dumber than the blokes who made that 3d trailer for Season Fnarg.

Meanwhile, Taren Capel decides to have Zilda murdered - clearly working his way through the ethnic groups. Luckily, Zilda is busy uncovering evidence that (oh so conveniently) paints Uvanov as a psychopathic killer who has managed to get on the same trip as two witnesses to his secret shame and suddenly decided to kill them all. Uvanov runs to find Zilda and is discovered apparently throttling her to death. Perfect for Capel to pass off as the real murderer and keep everyone confused.

And what does he do? Dismiss Zilda's claims as her going crazy.

"The killings have effected her mind," he says. Pot. Kettle. Black.

But then Taren Capel's whacky schemes just get worse and worse. He has Cass murdered next - presumably to cast blame on Borg - then stops Borg from incriminating himself further. Then has Borg murdered by the most pathetic robot ever who gets half its head caved in and hand covered in grapefruit juice, which TC makes absolutely no attempt to hide or clean up despite leaving the evidence LITERALLY ON DISPLAY. Lucky the only person to see it is Poul who can have an immediate nervous breakdown, huh?

Then it gets worse! Someone sabotages the engines of the Storm Mine and sets them to explode.

Because, that really makes sense.

Who the hell does that?

Is it Taren Capel? Wanting to destroy himself and all aboard? You might bluff it was somehow accidental damage caused by the epic Brian-Croucher-fights-headless-robot-with-fruit-juice, but the Doctor and plenty of others refer to it as "sabotage". And then Taren Capel, despite all his very good reasons for staying alive, decides to PREVENT the Doctor from stopping the entire mine from exploding.

For the love of Led Zeppelin...

Compared to this, his stupidity in not twigging he can fix the engines even though he is the only person ON THE MINE capable of doing it is forgivable. Or having to use a videophone to take over SV7 instead of writing a letter. Or wearing a mask.

Or causing a main power failure just when he's trying to kill everyone at once, having decided there is "no longer" a need for secrecy (WHEN WAS THERE EVER A NEED?!). This power failure means that the Doctor, Leela, Uvanov, Toos and Poul to escape. Taren Capel then has the cunning move of shutting down all the robots on the sandminer bar his dozen or so liberated army.

Yet Taren Capel himself established the emergency stop button is one-use-only and it would take all of Kaldor City's robot factories to undo it. OK, he's an evil genius and maybe he can reboot them, but are we thinking he's going to have to do each one individually (because that is how he has to reprogram them). This still means that he's killed all the people who can pilot the sandminer and switched off all the robots that could fill in for them, given the mine is damaged and risky anyway and - oh, by the way, Taren Capel ensured they are in the middle of nowhere and can't be rescued any time soon if the mine starts to sink again...

And, hang on, WHY IS THERE A ROBOT OFF SWITCH?!

Just why do the robots need to be all shut down instantaneously UNLESS they can go insane? It's not the Company sensibly installing one, because it's an established thing and even Toos knows about it as history. (In Corpse Marker, Boucher fobs us off with the vague idea that there have been previous robot revolutions but everyone in Kaldor City is a stupid prick and never thought the robots were a bad idea. In Kaldor City, this is fobbed off even MORE by saying it's all down to the Fendahl.)

So, with the last survivors locked on the flight deck, Taren Capel decides it's time to paint himself green and THEN try and trick Uvanov into opening the door. Because he wants them to open the door and feel damn stupid, apparently, since the robots can easily break through. Or switch off the air. Or leave them to rot helplessly. In a room full of high explosives. And then Taren Capel is amazed that "weak creatures of flesh and blood" can kill a robot, even though he himself has seen Borg kill one with his bare hands.

What the hell is WRONG with this moron?

In a certain audio series we're told TC is a cunning manipulator and control freak, so I'm struggling to reconcile with the foam-at-the-mouth nutter who spends the last part of the episode STABBING RANDOM PEOPLE IN THE HEADS WITH GIANT SYRINGES. And then it turns out that Taren Capel, the genius, never bothered to program the robots to recognize his face - just his voice. Which makes it wierd that he insisted on giving them orders in a hissy, silibant voice rather than his normal tones. It's amazing he wasn't throttled earlier on. The fact he tries to get home with his downies by calling all the robots brothers but have them refer to him as "our controller" is pretty dumb too.

And then the story ends with everyone dead. Poul - last seen sobbing in front of a wall which promptly exploded in a fireball; Uvanov - getting cybernought bitch-slapped; Toos - getting throttled by a robot. The Doctor is left standing surrounded by bodies and then fobs Leela off with a promise they'll sort themselves out while they get the hell out of here. Like Warriors of the Deep done by the Simpsons.

If this was Hungry Beast, this story would be part of the "Little Bit Bullshit" section.

Am I right or right?

(patiently awaits the vengeance of Nala Snevets.)