Thursday, March 15, 2012

YOA and Hardcore Pornography!

Dave Restal opened his eyes.

A pair of bright green XXXX gazed through a messy orange-red XXXXX right back at him. The XXXXX surrounding those XXXXX was freckled, innocent, a girl XXXX door, a farmer's XXXXXXXXX. She XXXXX like flowers.

"Wakey, wakey, XXXXXX," she XXXXXX in an Ocker XXXXXX, brushing XXX fringe out of her XXXX. Her long red XXXX hung down her XXXX white XXXX.

Dave tried to XXXX where they were, but he couldn't focus his XXXX away from his XXXXX. Looming in his vision were two swollen, XXXX-white XXXXXX atop a XXXXXXXX XXXXXX twice as XXXX in all directions, overshadowing her short and slightly chubby XXXXX. A XXXXXXXXXXXXX in its XXXXX, its XXXXX, its XXXX hours, perhaps only XXXXXXX left...

She XXXXXXXX up, forced her XXXXXX XXXXXXXXXXX towards his face. It made her XXXXXXXXX XXXXX seem to grow in XXXXXX of him. "XXXXX XXXXXXX XX them," she XXXXX breathlessly, running her XXXXXXXXX over the XXXXXXXXX XXXXX of her XXXXX. "Happy XXXXX XX them, XXXXX XXXXXX my XXXXXX big healthy XXXXXX, XXXXXX birthday XX XXXXX..."

XXXXXXX, soft XXXX with untidily-manicured XXXXX slid down his XXXX and cupped his XXXXX. XXXX let out a XXXX of appreciation XX she XXXXXX in close. Her XXXX, XXXXXX nipples XXXXXXX against his XXXXXXX XXXXX. Long denied XXXXX began to XXXX in as he thought of her XXXXXX XXXXXXXXX body and the XXXXX stirring within. She XXX so XXXXX and XXXXXX, stuffed with XXXXX that was eager to XXXXXX. A thin film of hot sweat glistened off her naked body in the afternoon sunshine, turning her a shiny, golden colour.

XXXXXX XXXXX XXXX XXXXXXXX XXXX XXXXXXX XX X XXXXX XXXX, XXXXX XXXXXXX.

"Phe... you're XXXXX," he XXXX, at a XXXX to understand how she had XXXX XXXX to him.

Pheobe Richards-nee-Styles smiled a shy, delighted smile that was almost as beautiful as her XXXX, tight XXXX XX XXXXXX ready to XX XXXXXX. XXXXXX and XXXX were rising out of the shining XXXXX, movement getting XXXXX with every XXXXXXX moment. She XXXXX Dave's hands to XXXX her XXX, XXX skin XXXX was XXXXXX almost XXXXX thin.

Dave's entire XXXX throbbed with XXXXXXXXXXX and XXXXXXX, XXXXXX pulsing through XXX like a XXXXXXXXXX. It was odd and wrong but XX felt so good, so much he XXXXXXXX despite the warm air.

"I XXXXX to do this," she XXXXX, hefting her XXXXXX XXXX and shuffling XXX XXXXX wider. XXX was XXXXXX astride XXX and he could XXX the soft XXXXXX of ginger XXXXXX XXXX sparkling with XXXXXX of a XXXXXXXX XXXXX plug. "Before I XXXXXX a XXXX. While I'm XXXX just a XXXXX. With XXXX."

"XXXXXXX in XXXXX," XXXXX said dully, the concept too XXXXX for him XX fully comprehend.

"XXX XX heat," XXXXXXXX retorted. She XXXXX her XXXXXX, her XXXXXXX of gravity XXXXXXXX her XXXXX downwards XXXXXXXXX her spread XXXX. Carefully, she XXXXXX XXXX onto her knees before XXXXX, allowing XXXX XXX XXXXXXXXX her XXX, XXXXXXXXXX XXXX. Her molten XXXXX swallowed up XXXX XXXX, XXXXX XXXX of her lover. Dave sighed XX she settled her full weight on his XXXXXX; XXX, tender XXXX spreading his XXXX XX XXX satin, velvety XXXXX utterly consumed XXX.

Using her thin but strong XXXX for leverage, he began XXXXXXXX into XXXXX, her juicy XXXXXXXXX XXXXX XXXXXXX him. Soon, XXXXX were panting and XXXXXX in pleasure, making XXXX desperately as XXXX slowly began to XXXX XXXXXX.

Pheobe suddenly XXXXXXXX her XXX shut and XXXX out a barely audible XXXXXXXX. It was not quite XXXX, not quite XXXXXXXXXXXX. Sweat XXX dripping off her XXXXX body now as the XXXXXXX inside XXXX intensified.

"The XXXXXXX," she grunted, panting XXX a few XXXXXX. "XXXXX of XX!"

Dave mimicked her XXXXXX XXXXXXXX XXXXX as her tortured XXX pulsed and throbbed between XXXX. He held her XXXX as her XXXX hardened with XXXXXXXXX XXXXXX. The over-burdened redhead was dangerously close to XXXXXXXX XXXXXX, willing to XXXXXX further XXXX overdue XXXXXXXX of her XXXXXX just to XX with him.

David Mitchell XXXXXXXX.

Now officially the XXXXXX man XXXXX.

"I've felt XXXXX XXXXX XXXXX and XXXXX inside XX," she whispered dizzily. "XXXX them XXXX and XXXX XXX XX XXX space... XXXX now XXX really XXX-XXXXXXXXXX... holy XXXXXXXX shit... ngggghh... XX hurts, but XXXXXXXXX, XX... XX feels... XXXXXXXXX... like XXXXXXXXX in XX is XXXXXXXXXXX..."

The XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX XXXXXXX above him, cooing XXX wincing as she XXXXXX his face XXX shoulders. Together XXXXX stroked XXXX distended XXXXXX, their hands XXXX against the immense XXXXX. Her XXXXXX XXXXX XXXX XXXXX down her too-full orbs XXX XXXXXX and XXXXXX from within XXXX XXXXXXXX became louder XXX more XXXXXXX, drowning out the XXXXXXXX of XXXXXX on XXXXX.

"I'm so XXX... so XXXXXX... I XXXX you so XXXXX," she XXXXXX huskily.

Despite himself, Dave XXXXXXX.

One hand XXXXXXXX XXXXXXXX around her XXXXXXXXXX XXXXX, she XXXXXXXXXX and needed (SP?) XXXX. He XXXXXX XXXX eyes as she gave him a long, hungry XXXX. XX simply XXXXXX in the thought of what her XXXX was XXXXXXX, entirely independant of both of them.

As his XXXXX XXX XXXXX XXXX massive mammaries, Dave felt XXXXXX XXXXXXXXX but fought off the building XXXXXXX. XXX juicy lover XXXXXXXX with delight as as waved over (??) pleasure swept XXXXXXX her sensitive skin XXX soft, tender flesh.

XXXXX clawed beneath her XXXXX, XXXXXXXXX dangerous XXXXX where the brown line down the XXXXXXX of Pheobe's XXXXX reached her XXX XXXXXX of pubic XXXX, taunting her XXXXX as they XXXXXX towards XXXXXXX, following XXX teasing XXXXXXX of her plump XXXXXX.

A thick XXXXX painfully stretched her over-tight XXXXX, pulling XX almost XXXXXXXXXX over the XXXXXX shape of an XXXXXX XXXXXXX, feeling XXXXXXXX just centimeters away. The XXXXXXX receded back XXXXX XXX shifting mass as XXXXX XXXXX inside her XXXXXX XX XXXXX and XXXX tightened XXXXXXXX XX. Rippling XXXXX of XXXX rolled over her shining, dripping XXX XX grand splendor until XXX XXXXXXXXX her quivering XXXX regions. She moaned XXX gasped XXX growled XXX grunted as Dave watched her beautiful XXXXX shift and XXXXXX dangerously.

"So XXXXXX now!" he XXXXXXXX. "X can XXXX XX! So XXXXX close!"

She couldn't hear him, lost XX the XXXXXXXXXXX assaulting her. "This is XXXXXXXXXXX!" she panted XXXX whimpered in XXXXXXXX. "It XXXXXXX so XXXXX and yet... so XXXXXXXXXX..."

Then her XXX-like XXXXXX began to XXXXX XXXXX. XXX XXXX bulged hard against his XXXX, pushing her XXXXXX further apart. Bright XXXXXX XXXX burst from her puffy XXXXXX lips, dousing him in her hot XXXXXXXXXXXXX fluid. Her XXXXXX had XXXXXXX under the onslaught of their XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX.

"XXXXX them out, Davey," XXXXX moaned, grabbing XXX hands and pressing XXXX hard against her turgid XXXXXX. XXX pressure-filled XXXXXX pushed his XXXXX back. "XXXX XXXX out! XXXX need out! XX XXXXXXXX! Nnnnnggghhh! XX fucking XXXX!"

She XXXXX against his XXXXXXX, her XXXXXX gripping the sides of her massive XXXXX, XXXXXX in pleasure as her XXXXXXXXXX XXXX tightened XXXXXXX like a giant soapy XXXX. Both of them were XXXXXXXX and XXXXXXXXXXXX in XXXXX, crying XX delight, whimpering in XXX as the XXXXX struggled to XXXXX XXXXXXXXXXXX from XXXXX XXXX.

XXXXX caressed XXXX fondled her buttocks, pulling her XXXXXXX and XXXXXXXXXXX deeper XXXX her. XXX XXXXXXXXX bulged and churned maddeningly as Dave XXXXXXX the already-too-XXXXXXXX XXXXXXXXXXX against each other. Phoebe XXXX XXXX X gasping moan XXXX kissed him XXXXXXX passionately, XXXXXXX and XXXXXXXX him XXX XXX XXXXXXXXXXXX XXXXXX angrilly over her. XXX ginger XXXXX were a wet and tangled web that nearly hid her XXXX and perspiration was dripping off XXX and XXXXXXX onto Dave's XXXX. Each XX XXX thrusts XXXXXX jolts and XXXXXX through his XXXXXXXXXXX lover, her massive XXXXXXX bouncing wildly atop her gleaming, undulating XXXXXXX.

"Mmmmmmmmmggghhhhhhhuuuuuhhhhhaaaa....!"

Phoebe grimaced XXXXXX XXXXXX, somewhere between XXXXXXXXXX bliss and XXXXXX anguish. Her XXXXX-XX-XXXXX XXXXX XXXXXXX quaked as the XXXXXXXX pounded XXXX XXXXX within. Dave could almost XXXX XXX XXXX XX XXX XX XXXX XXXXXX through thinned, weakened XXXX of her XXXXXXX. Her XXXXX XXXXXX XXXX XXXXXXX her body beyond her limits. XXXX, similarly, could barely XXXXXXX himself. The effort to XXXX back his XXXXXXX was excruciating as Phoebe's XXXXX to XXXXX her XXXXXXXXX into the world. They were both XXXXX to the XXXX.

Phoebe body ached to XXXXX her XXXXX, as she XXXXX against XXX faster and faster. The entrance to her XXXXX beginning to give way. "XXX XXXXX, XXXXX! XXX going to XXXXX!" she XXXXXXX through gritted XXXXXX. "XXXX XXXXXXXX! Ohhhh, XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX!"

"XXXX!" XXXXX XXXXXX, yearning for her to erupt XXXX XXXX XXXX.

"They're... they're XXXXXX XXXXXXX.. oh my XXXXXXXXX... X can XXXX XXXXX... ouch..."

XXXX XXXXXX harder XXX XXXXXXX, XXXXXXXXXX with XXXXXXXXXXXX as a seemingly endless series of XXXXXXXXXXXXX raced XXXXXXXXXXXXXX her. XXX hair clung to her wet face, her XXXXXXXXXXX wobbled violently as XXXXX approached. In a few moments XXX XXXXX XXXXX within XXXX would be XXXX. She would finally XXXX XXXXX. XXXX XXXXXX lustfully at XXX thought.

"XXXXX!" he XXXXXXXX at XXX.

XXXXXXX leaned backwards, the excruciating XXXXXXXX from her XXXXX growing XXXXXX. "Ggggaaaaaaahhhh!" XXX XXXXXX, the XXXXXXXXXXXXXXX XX XXX XXXXX jutting out XXX then receding as XXX XXXXXXXX XXXXXX XXXXXXX XXXXXX way to XXXXXXX. "XXXX... XXXX... so XXXXXXXX!"

"XXXXXX faster!"

Her XXXXXXXX XXXX pulsated XXX XXXXXXXX as she obeyed XXXX. Her slippery XXXXXX held onto XXXXX with a death XXXX. "XXXX! XXXX XXX XXXXXXXX it XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX...." she babbled, XXXXXXX XXXXXXXXXXXX.

"XXXX!" he XXXXXXXX. XX XXXX these were her XXXX XXXXXXX.

"Just a XXXX XXXXX," XXXX pleaded XXXXXXXXXXX. "XXXXXXXX XXXXXXX! XX XXXX XXXXX them!"

"It's XXXXX XXXXXXXX XXXXX!" XXXXX XXXXXXX. "XXXX!"

He XXXXXXX her meat-skin XXXXXX, XXXXXXXX his XXXXXXX into the thin membrane of her XXXXX-XXXXXXX until she XXXXXXXXX in XXXX. "XXXXXX," she XXXXX over the XXXXXXXX XXXXX. "Nnnnngggghhh.... XXXXX XXXXX... XXXXX want... XXXXX out... XXXXX XXXXXXXX.."

"Oooh.... oooh.... mmmmggghhhh..." XXXXX replied.

He XXXXXXXXX to XXXXXX his XXXXXXXX, filled with XXXXXX of the frenzied XXXXXX inside her XXXXXXX XXX pushing against XXX fleshy barriers between XXXX and XXX outside world. The XXXX could not be XXXX back for XXXXX longer - there could only be a XXXX seconds XXXXXX. XXX ran his XXXXXXXX over her XXXX, XXXXXXX XXXXX of XXXXX-hot XXXXX, XXXXXXXX his XXXX between her XXXXXXXX XXXXXXX. XXX tasted of XXXX, XXXX and XXXX.

"XXXXX... XXXXXXXXXX.... XXXXX... XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX...."

XXXXXXXXXXX with XXXX and XXXXX, XXXXXXX was XXXXXXXX and XXXXXXXXXXX uncontrollably. XXXXXXXXXX inside ber began to XXXXXX XXXXXX against XXX, XXX controlled chaos XXX XXXXXXXXXXX drawing XXXXXX and closer. They could both XXXX the hot XXXXXXXXXX XXX XXXXXX as the XXXXXX forced XXX open from the XXXXXX out. XXX XXXX was now XXXXXXXX and XXXXXXXXX XXXXXXXXXX between XXXXX, literally on the edge of XXXXXXXXXX its XXXXXXXXX.

"XXX XXXXXX XXX!" XXXXX XXXXXXXX, XXXXXXXXX XXXX heartbeats.

Then her XXXX XXXXXXX XXXXX, wider and brighter than ever before and Dave XXXXXXXX XXXXXXX XXXX. A heavy XXXXX of XXXX XXXXXXXX XXXX XXXXX XXXXXXXX inside her engorged XXXXXXXX XXXXXX and XX XXXXXX with XXXXX, penetrating XXXXX.

The XXXXXXX had finally arrived.

XXXXXXX.

"XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX!"

XXXXXX XX XXXXX XXXXXXX exploded XXXX XXXXXXXX her XXXXXXXX XXXXXXXX XXXX they both grunted XXX XXXXXXXX. XXXX suddenly XXXXXXX XXXXXXX XXXX XXXXX XXXX, XXXX XXXXXX XXXXX stretching out frightfully between her XXXXXXXXXX thighs. XX XXX XXXXXXXX XXX XXXX, a spasming XXXXXX of XXXX XXXXXXXXXXX XXXXX XXXXXXX XXXX XXXXX XXXXXX of her soon-to-be-XXXXXX XXXXX. Her XXXXX XXXXXXXXXXX XXXXXXXXXXX XX XXXX XXXXXXXX XXXXXXX XXXXXXXXXX XXXX further and further against the XXXX of XXXX XXXXXXX.

XXX XXXXXXXXXXXX XXXXXX XXXXXX, veins in her XXXX XXX tormented XXXXX bulging through XXX XXXXXXX XXX sweat. XXX XXXX XXXXXX once, twice, and then XXXXX both XXXX XXXX exquisite sensuality of XXXXX; X sudden jouous rush of pleasure more powerful than any other XXXXXXX. XXXXXXXXX face XXXXXXXXX XXX XXXXXXXX, then XXXX, then XXXXXXX, then XXXXXXXXXXXX as her XXXXXX snapped back and her XXXXX arched.

XXXX XXXXXXX XXXX inevitable.

XXX moment XXX XXXXXXXX.

XXX XXX-XXXXX XXXXXX XXXXXXX XXXX XXXXXX XXXXX XXXXXX XXXXX X XXXXXXX XXX. X chubby XXXXXXXX XXXXXXX XXXXXX XXX X volcanic XXXXX XXX sweet-smelling, bright orange XXXXXX XXXXXX. XXX warm, wriggling XXXXXX XXXXXXXX XX the soft grass XXXXXXXXX Dave's XXXXX XXXXX, XXXXXXXXX XXXXXXXX his thighs.

XX XXX XXXXXXXXX XXXX XXXXXXXXXXXX, XXXXXXX XXXXXX XX XXXXX XXXX XXXXX hissed XXX XXXXXXX. XXXX XXXXXXXX XXXXXXXX, XXXXXXXXXX XXXXXXXXXX XXXXX an overripe fruit. XXXXXXXX XXXXXXX XXXXXXXX XXXX XXX a XXXXXXXX XXX XXXXXXX XXXXXXX goo. XXXXX a final roar of ecstasy, XXX XXXXX XXXXXXX XXXXX XXX XXX XXXXXX XXXXXX XXXXXX its way XXXXX XXX X XXXX, XXXX XXXXX out of her hot, XXXXXXXX XXXXXXX with a XXXXX XXXXX.

XXX XXXXX XXX XXX XXXX XXXXX XXXXXX XXXXXXXXX XXXXX XXXXXX XXXXX XXXXX XXX XXXXX. XXX XXXXX XXXX XXXXX XX XXXX XXXXX XX XXXXX XXXXXXX XXX XXXXXX. XXXX XXXXXXXXXXX XX XXXXX, XXX XXXXXX XXXXXXXX XXXXXXX XX XXXXXXXX XXXXXXXX, XXX XXXX XXX XXXXXX...

XXXXX XXXX XXXXXX, XXXXXXXX XX XXX XXXXXXXX XXXXX. Where moments ago had been XX XXXXXXXX XXXX of excited XXXX was nothing but XXXXX, XXXXXXXXX XXXXX XXXXXX XXXX XXX XXXXXX. XXXX XXXXXXXXXXXX XXXXXXX was gone, flattened XXX XXXX XXXXX XXXXXXXXXXXXX. XXXX groin XXX XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX XXXXXXXX XXXXX XXXXXX XXXX XXXXXXXX she had held in for so long XXX steaming-hot XXXXXXX XXXXXXX out onto the XXXXX.

XX XXXXXXX XX XXXXXXXXXX, XXXXXXX XXXXX XXX slimy XXXXXXXX XXXX XXXXXXX XXXXX XXX the cooling corpse XX XXX XXXXX. XX sniffed XXXX torn XXXXXX and gored XXX, XXXXXXXXXXX XXX XXXX XXXX allowed him release before she XXXXXXXXXX. Was there anything more XXXXXXX and XXXXXXXXXXXX?

"XXX deserved XXXX."

* * *

Andrew looked suspiciously at the tiny orange capsule held between his thumb and forefinger like a rather undignified butter menthol throat lozenge. "What is this stuff called again?" he asked.

Nigel was flipping through a pamplet entitled JUST SAY "HOW MUCH?" TO DRUGS.

"Ummm. Shadow. Yeah. Shadow. Derived from the Zondorian moon-disc cactii, the resulting serum stimulates the brain so that the latent desires of the subject are isolated, amplied and fed back as vivid sensory dreams."

"So this is guaranteed pleasure?" Andrew sounded doubtfuly.

"Uh-huh." Nigel sounded ridiculously optimistic. "Pleasure however we subconsciously define it. And THIS batch isn't half as radioactive as the last one..."

Andrew put the tablet down and brushed his hands with a disconcertingly-pristine handkercheif. "I might just pass anyway."

"Dave tried with no side effects."

In his arm chair, Dave looked up furiously. "No XXXX effects? XX fucking side XXXXXXXXX? You have XX XXXX XXXXXXXXX kidding XXXXX XXXXXX you pair of XXXXXXXXXXX!"

"Just some mild asphasia, it'll wear you."

"You said that about XXXXXX XXX XXXXXXX XXXXXXX redbull!"

"Did I?"

"XXXX!"

"Yes. Yes I did."

"But the Shadow DID work as promised?" asked Nigel eagerly.

"Hell no, it was all full of XXXs!"

"Exes, huh?" Nigel nodded. "That works for me."

He popped his capsule, smiled happily and then toppled backwards onto the carpet.

"It kicking in, yet, Nigel?"

"Awwww yeah..." Nigel drawled. "I see a beautiful light... and in that light... no, no it can't be... it can't be... India Fisher? Yes, yes it XX! Oh, bring it on Mrs Pollard! I'm ready XXX waiting! OH YEAH! OH XXXXX! XXXXXX! XXXXX! What? No. No!"

"What's XXXXXXX with XXXX?" as Dave idly.

"In Nigel's subconscious? We're better off not knowing."

"No! Andy! Help me! I can see Conrad XXXXXXXX Westmass in a Eutermisan posing pouch! And he's got XXXXXXX XXXXXX with him! XXXXXX! And a ring modulator! XXXXXX! XXX! XXXXX just put the nun's wimple down! XXXXXX! XX don't care WHAT L'da thought of the size of your XXXXXX XXXXXX just not that sort of XXXX! XXXX! XXXXX! XXXX! Oh, wait! There's XXXX David Tennant, I'm XXXXXX he'll save me... no... wait... XXXXX... he's just there to point and laugh at me... XXXXX YOU XXXXXX TENNANT! Just because you bang your hero's daughter who also played YOUR daughter on TV and child services haven't become involved, you don't have the right to judge me!!"

"XXXXX up already, XXXXX!"

"XXXX! XXXX XXX at XXXXXX you despicable XXXXXXX! Mein gott! Here comes Paul XXXXXX Margrs XXXXXX with XXXX an Iris Wildthume glove puppet!"

"Right, that does it!" Andrew snapped, gulping down his own pill. "I've been wanting to do this ever since Horror of Glam Rock!" His pupils dilated then vanished and he swayed on his feet. "Oi! Margrsy! I've got an arsekicking for you! This is for everyone who ever cared about Adric! This is for everyone who ever suffered at Nest Cottage! THIS ONE IS FOR THE XXXXXXX KIPPER!"

"XXXXXX! Yeah! XXXXXX him up, AndXXXXXX!"

"XXXXXX!"

"XXXX!"

"XXXXXXXX!"

"XXXXX? You know what I XXXXXX love about satire?" asked Dave as his companions skipped hand in hand on a voyage to Trip Out City. "WHEN IT'S XXXXX SUBTLE XXXXXX!"



XXX End.

10 comments:

Jared "No Nickname" Hansen said...

My favourite bit was when XXXXX the XXXX XX XXXXX cornucopia of XXXXX XXX XXXXXX Kate Spears from XXX Bill.

The end made me lol. I didn't think a clever ending was coming and that it was just an excuse for refuge-in-audacity humour...

Youth of Australia said...

Kate Spears!

... I totally forget which one she was. I only remember Juliet, who went topless during her death scene in the 100000000th episode that was done live.

The end made me lol. I didn't think a clever ending was coming and that it was just an excuse for refuge-in-audacity humour...
So... there WAS a clever ending?

Yeah, know what you mean. Got a spam email a while back with "free erotic content" and I thought it would be a laugh if I used it in a script for some awful scene...

INT. KINDERGARDEN

[NIGEL is reading a story to some SMALL CHILDREN.]

Nigel: And even though he'd promised her not to, he popped his cookies all over the washing up... Look boys and girls! There's a picture!

[A LITTLE BOY vomits...]

But I thought it would be funnier if it was revealed as Dave's fantasy. A bit sad, too, that he's still hung up over a girl he can never have.

Still, we all been there.

Youth of Australia said...

Looked up Kate Spears on the billwiki. There needs to be a dramatic sting for those wikipages, there really does.

You gotta love it.

"Current status: MURDERED!!!"

Jared "No Nickname" Hansen said...

... I totally forget which one she was.

I just remember having a teenaged crush (/perverted lust) for her. She was the tan, dark haired one. The one memorable story I recall of hers was she ended up in a hostage situation in a bank with Smithy.

I only remember Juliet, who went topless during her death scene in the 100000000th episode that was done live.

I never stuck around to episode 1 trillion.

So... there WAS a clever ending?

Yeah, the Shadow reveal got me screaming "What a tweest!" Robot Chicken-style.

Still, we all been there.

True dat.

Jared "No Nickname" Hansen said...

MURDERED!!! Presumed dead.

Youth of Australia said...

MURDERED!!! Presumed dead.
ROTFLOL! I want that on my gravestone.

I just remember having a teenaged crush (/perverted lust) for her. She was the tan, dark haired one.
Yes. Odd she never acted more.

Then she got firedbombed out of existence - without doubt the most popular way to write out a Bill character. I was amazed the last episode didn't end with nuclear war breaking out in Sunhill.

I never stuck around to episode 1 trillion.
Don't blame you.

Yeah, the Shadow reveal got me screaming "What a tweest!" Robot Chicken-style.
I did a similar gag in an old YOA script where Andrew was fighting Nazis in Occupied France, only to turn out to be booze-filled hallucination, so everyone else tried it to see what THEY'D hallucinate... but Shadow was a much cooler idea.

True dat.

Isn't that right, CRAIG?!?!

(Nuther DT quote. I need more sleep)

Jared "No Nickname" Hansen said...

Yes. Odd she never acted more.

Yeah, I Googled the actress, too, after seeing she was indeed as cute as I remembered. Fairly surprising.

I was amazed the last episode didn't end with nuclear war breaking out in Sunhill.

I was just flicking through that Wiki and it seemed everyone I found had died. Sun Hill station has an incredible mortality rate! And I thought Manchester in Cracker was rough...

but Shadow was a much cooler idea.

I got the impression B7 and DW were both a bit hampered with their drug storylines by BBC editorialising. It's notable that both Shadow and Vraxoin are apparently guaranteed to kill you eventually (and that Vraxoin, particularly works bloody fast!)

But I did really like the way they handled Shadow and the concept. In fact, that one story has a few things that stick out for being never mentioned again - the drug-trafficking, the Terra Nostra out to kill them, Cally's pet moon disc..

Youth of Australia said...

Fairly surprising.
And one of her few roles was... Kate Spears for a Bill parody...

I was just flicking through that Wiki and it seemed everyone I found had died.
I assume the words "interesting" or "likable" were involved.

Sun Hill station has an incredible mortality rate! And I thought Manchester in Cracker was rough...
It's sad but true, that no matter how much they tried to big up Torchwood as being lethal to its operatives, Sunhill was so much worse on that score. I remember when they did a "new guys on work experience" style episode - one of thousands they did - but before the second scene was over the new copper was STABBED TO DEATH IN THE NECK!!! That was when it became unusual for ANY character NOT to leave the show by dying horribly.

The only reason Reg Hollis escaped was because they sacked the actor and couldn't write him out.

I got the impression B7 and DW were both a bit hampered with their drug storylines by BBC editorialising.
Very much so. It shows in Eden, where the hasty changes mean K9 refers to the drug by its original name of "Zyp" (which was changed because it didn't sound scary and evil, but instead cool for kids... which was rather the point...)

It's notable that both Shadow and Vraxoin are apparently guaranteed to kill you eventually (and that Vraxoin, particularly works bloody fast!)
Yeah, it really is quite chilling when the comedy policeman shoots down a junkie on the grounds its perfectly legal - one hit and it's terminal anyway.

The fact he was about to assault Romana made that scene amazingly dark for me...

In fact, that one story has a few things that stick out for being never mentioned again - the drug-trafficking, the Terra Nostra out to kill them, Cally's pet moon disc..
Well, I remember the idea was that, at the end, Bek nukes the President's cultivated field of moondiscs. Avon left tonnes of other detectors on Zondor so if the Federation ever tries to farm another crop, they could zap it. Either way, to keep the farms safe, the Federation would have to move in on Zondor in force - thus totally blowing the entire secret.

So, the Federation had to abandon Shadow to keep the Terra Nostra scam working. They then came up with a replacement for shadow, Exobriddian (which Dayna pretends to be addicted to in Gold) which is so widespread even fucking pleasure cruisers have a hit in their medical supply.

Why the Terra Nostra never chased the Liberator? Maybe they did - the only place I can think of they'd have had a chance would have been Freedom City, which was NOT part of the Terra Nostra anyway (which was why Servalan wanted it blown up).

But, after the Galactic War, (in which we see Space City apparently attacked by aliens) they probably didn't have the resources. They would also have had Bek and the other criminal syndicates occupying their time as well.

As for the moon-disc, it was presumably nuked with the Liberator over Terminal. Though in my personal view, Vila saved it when they prepared to leave ship (he IS wearing two suits over each other) and looked after it ever since.

It perished in "Blake" when a plasma bullet meant for Vila struck it - and its telepathic death throes caused lots of slow motion and freeze frames.

I think too much. I am aware of this.

Jared "No Nickname" Hansen said...

The only reason Reg Hollis escaped was because they sacked the actor and couldn't write him out.

From what I heard he attempted suicide in his dressing room right after hearing about it...

That was really depressing. His appearance in Kinda showed that guy had range..

The fact he was about to assault Romana made that scene amazingly dark for me...

I think the story alternates oddly between dark themes and daft light-hearted bits. I mean, the bit where the captain was pissing himself laughing seeing the Mandrels killing his passengers really stuck in my mind.

The light-heartedness mightn't even be there in the script. It could be entirely down to Tom's treatment of the material ("Oh, my arms! My legs! My everything!") and the bright and campy designs in that story.

But, after the Galactic War, (in which we see Space City apparently attacked by aliens) they probably didn't have the resources. They would also have had Bek and the other criminal syndicates occupying their time as well.

Wasn't the Space City prop meant to be something else at the time, though? I thought that scene was quite confusingly shot...

They could have had a storyline where there was a power bid by the Terra Nostra in the power vacuum left by the Federation if they had thought about it. Introduce a new recurring villain through season 3...

Ah, what could have been..

Though in my personal view, Vila saved it when they prepared to leave ship (he IS wearing two suits over each other) and looked after it ever since.

That would have been sweet, actually.

Man, if only they cared more about continuity. I think the lack thereof if one of the only real flaws of the series.

Youth of Australia said...

From what I heard he attempted suicide in his dressing room right after hearing about it...
It was a case of

"Dude, I have been in this show longer than you have been alive. Can I get some decent material?"
"No. You're fired."

That was really depressing. His appearance in Kinda showed that guy had range..
Quite. Pity he was type cast as "harmless geek" even before he became Reg...

I think the story alternates oddly between dark themes and daft light-hearted bits.
Not quite oddly. The original director was a total fuckwit - Tom Baker lead THE ENTIRE CAST to get him chucked out half way through the production. Graham Williams had to do the rest on his own (but with full respect and cooperation of the cast, it must be said).

Hence the piecemeal direction.

I mean, the bit where the captain was pissing himself laughing seeing the Mandrels killing his passengers really stuck in my mind.
"They're only ECONOMY CLASS!!!"

Yeah. Intense. It was ironically also the scene where the comedy cops actually stop being jokes and actually end up having to get involved and take things seriously...

The light-heartedness mightn't even be there in the script.
I doubt it. From what I read, the original script had the Doctor - upon finding out Dymond's tax returns on selling vrax - went absolutely apeshit and smashed the computer. There was also scenes of Romana swearing at the cops behind their backs.

It could be entirely down to Tom's treatment of the material ("Oh, my arms! My legs! My everything!") and the bright and campy designs in that story.
The "my everything" was scripted deliberately, since the idea was the Mandrels would look a lot more frightening than they were and the comedy was there to balance it out. Either way, they could have dubbed out that line if they didn't think it worked.

Wasn't the Space City prop meant to be something else at the time, though? I thought that scene was quite confusingly shot...
Yeah. Well, there's two possibilites:

It's an alien space ship that LOOKS like Space City

It's Space City itself getting attacked

(I am bewildered the only footage never used for the alien war was OF THE ALIENS THEMSELVES!!)

They could have had a storyline where there was a power bid by the Terra Nostra in the power vacuum left by the Federation if they had thought about it. Introduce a new recurring villain through season 3...
They could have, I guess, and they probably would have done that if Mrs. Pearce couldn't appear.

Ah, what could have been..
Sleer of the Terra Nostra...

That would have been sweet, actually.
When I first saw Shadow I was surprised it didn't end up wired into Orac as a "Lovecraft filter". It would have given the Rac someone to talk to...

Man, if only they cared more about continuity. I think the lack thereof if one of the only real flaws of the series.
Yeah, that's the trouble back then - they didn't MAKE shows that cared about continuity. At best they kept a nerd on hand, and THAT was only for longrunning soaps.

(There's also the production itself - half of Aftermath was filmed at the same time as City at the Edge of the World, so there was a worry of screwing up continuity even more. We could have ended up with the moon-disc and its tray appearing it B7 BEFORE the episode was shown... mind you, there are worse crimes. Gan's removal of the cypher machine destroys the laws of cause and effect, for example...)