Wednesday, May 12, 2010

FFS, Spara! (Election Special)

I'm not going to bother with an introduction. No words could do it justice.

How the new Prime Minister should rebuild broken Britain!

Finally David Cameron (It is not appropriate to address our right honourable Prime Minister as "Dave") is our Prime Minister. He inherits a country ridden with problems and in serious decline as a society. Unfortunately he is constrained by the Lib Dems however hopefully he can fob them off with a few token jobs then ignore them. Also he could plant damaging stories in the press about them using info obtained by the security services.

Anyway, here is a blueprint for what the new PM should do:

1) Immediately cut spending on useless council jobs and advisory quangos.

2) Impose a 9pm curfew in known trouble spots and intern habitual troublemakers in camps.

3) Introduce strict rules on what is acceptable on television. Ban dumbed down programming in favour of historical drama and documentaries.

4) Deport all convicted burglars, car thieves & drug dealers to the Eurozone.

5) Personally supervise the next season of Doctor Who.

I am not a fascist. I see no problem with interning criminals and using the army to instill some self-discipine in them. Hopefully David will be a proper Conservative not some namby pamby middle of the road compromiser like Mrs Thatcher.

...and then the mods turned up, banning sparacus from the "grown-up" Crater of Needles current affairs section.




Jared "No Nickname" Hansen said...

Hold up, is this a verbatim quote? Because I'd have thought even on his bad days Spara would have more sense than to suggest the effective Head-of-State of the Commonwealth (Yes, I know it's officially the Queen, but the PM does it all...) should approve scripts for his favourite TV show?

Soon he'll be asking for David Cameron to act as his own personal pimp.

Youth of Australia said...

Yep a verbatim quote.

And I'm not joking about the Mods' reaction, either.

Matthew Blanchette said...

Well... talk about goosesteppng; eh, lads? :-|