My grandfather died twelve minutes ago.
Peacefully, and two weeks after they thought he was a gonner.
My mum and dad were five minutes from seeing him. They were parking in the hospital carpark when the phone rang. They were going there to say goodbye and they just missed him.
And so the 'if onlys' start.
If only they'd had a shorter lunch. If only I hadn't monopolized the phone call with the news Summer Heights High now needs a disclaimer at the start. If only they'd left yesterday.
Right now I sit at home, alone bar my pets. Half of me wishes I was with them in Canberra, the other half is glad I don't have to see it.
And all of me is sad.