Saturday, December 28, 2013

Still can't be arsed to do a review. Does anyone care?

Mark Goacher's reasoned and impartial reviews:

2/10. Utter garbled drivel. The plot was ridiculous, the production values childish and the only good thing about it was Matt Smith's portrayal of an 'old' 11th Doctor. Silly rubbish for vacuous lumpen drones.

Mr V.L. Drone: Spara , there's a time and a place to discuss Ben Chatham. This isn't it...
Cheap dig. My point is that 'Time of the Doctor' was completely ridiculous. The Christmas elements were bunged in for no apparent reason other than to keep the lumpen happy, the acting was, as usual, childish shouty comedy and the whole thing was a letdown after the comparatively good 'Day of the Doctor'. 

I did not intend to insult anyone, I thought I'd used rather moderate language however apologies if I seemed a tad strong. My point is that there was little in that episode that seemed fresh or challenging. I felt a strong sense of 'seen it all before', including the regeneration dialogue.

My take on how the 11th Doctor should depart the series would have captured his eccentricity via lots of toilet humor while at the same time conveying a sense of dread. It would have been set in Colchester Castle (Clara wouldn't be interested in super cool Norman castles, while the Doctor would want to go to a Soho club as he fancied "a bit of this") and had the Silence chasing them into a McDonalds', only for all the chavs to turn into Zygons so the Doctor can aside to camera "Moffat must be running out of ideas!" and there's canned audience laughter at the in-joke.
And so the Doctor and Clara run into the next shop which is Ann Summers (because all slinky underwear shops are right next to fast food joints) and Clara repeatedly kicks the Doctor in the shin for drooling and leering over her. And because his shin is sore, he trips into the road and is run over by an Essex Man in a white van. And before a startled Colchester public he regenerates into........ Peter Capaldi with the immortal final words, "Ahhhh..... its over. Brought to an end by Essex Man in a white van. Ho hum. Such are the tragedies of life!"


Persona Herein said...

It was okay, but left me largely indifferent. Moffat seems to have used up his writing capacity for the year on the Anniversary Special.

(no wonder Sherlock only comes out in short installments, that's the format he prefers if he's working long form.)

And everyone agrees that his dying speech went on too long.

Youth of Australia said...

That was probably down to him being continually interrupted by Amy's ghost. Or whatever. If he'd got it over in one go like Eccleston, it would have felt more abrupt.

Still, the Eleventh Doctor marches to the beat of his own drum. Who cares what anyone else thinks?