Friday, October 11, 2013

Missing Episodes Still Missing

The rumors say ninety episodes were found. The Radio Times were bound and gagged when they said new episodes had been found. The BBC said it was going to make a statement, then delayed it for a week, then put an embargo on the press for another six hours. What were they hiding? Why were they hiding it?

Beats me, given how little they were hiding.

Ohhhh, Moffat...

You gave me hope and then you take it away.

That's enough to make any fan dangerous.

God knows what it will do to me.

Basically... YOU MAKE ME SICK! NO FIST! GAAAAAAAHHHH!

WHAT THOSE OTHER LOSERS THOUGHT:

Sparacus: YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAY!!!!!!!!!!

John Preddle: And Enemy of the World is set in 2013. Coincidence? I think not!

Magic Bullet Productions: This pales into comparison with our new adult, ultra-sophisticated radio exploration of the dark side of mankind's inner self, Radio Bastard. So, please, someone listen to it. Hello? Anyone?

Matty Knoller: Great big care factor of zero. What about the 200 missing episodes of Countdown wiped by the Fraser Government? Huh? WHAT ABOUT THEM?!?!

Sparacus II: It seems that the lumpen optimistic herd were right
Nicole Duece: This is no excuse, Ewen. You still have to turn up to the wedding.

Malcolm Tucker: That fucking Troughton, trying to fuck up everything from beyond the fucking grave! Ten Doctors in between not enough for you, ya caustic homo? Steal the limelight from Pertwee, but not fucking me, you understand??! Your giddy aunt will be a damnsight more giddy after I shag her into next week!


John Cura: See? It wasn't WORTH taking photos of!

Thomas Cookson: Did I ever mention that Doctor Who should have ended with Web of Fear and that everything after that was ruined by JNT? I did? Well, I'll say it again, then!

Sparacus III: Excellent news sparacus, but didn't you say in a previous thread that no episodes had been found at all? Got it wrong didn't you!

Mad Larry the Pirate King: THERE IS NO POINT TRYING TO BE SATIRICAL AND ALOOF IN THIS TIME OF ABSOLUTE AND UNBRIDLED NATIONAL CELEBRATION

Bindie Stewart-Fitzpatrick: What the missus said.

K[y]Ron(alD) Ma{llet}t: Film and video tape are two different things, and if you don't know what a VHS tape is perhaps REAL Doctor Who might be a bit stale for all you tweens and teens!

The DWADs: Christmas come early for us! Now, for the DWAD parallel of these releases with two Savage stories, please! Portal and The Crucible of Terror?!?!

Philip Sandifier: Douglas Camfield, what the hell were you thinking?!?

Chopper Ried via ouiji board: Pah! I could cut up that wog Salamander, easy!


PeterQ: This is another reason why anyone who like NuWho should be urinated upon and then set on fire.

Eye of Horus: Fan rumours and industry speculation abound about the return of a proportion of the 106 errant episodes. Further updates will follow.

Chris Hale: Huh? Doctor what? Ewen who? Sorry, it must be all this sex I'm getting. Where am I?

Tony Abbot: I will stop the missing episodes being shown in this country!

Miles Reid-Lobatto: Meh. Now, the remake of The Tomorrow People? THAT is worth discussing.

Richie: Right, Eddie! Where is the loot from betting the 90 episodes had been returned?
Eddie: Hah. Well, brace yourself... because they didn't find quite as many episodes as that.
Richie: What? That's impossible! Quick, get down the pawn-shop and redeem all the food, booze and porn-mags we pawned!
Eddie: Right, quick, give me five hundred quid!
Richie: Right, quick, into the lavvies.
Eddie: No, Richie! It's illegal! Besides, you'll never make five hundred quid that quick! You'd be lucky to get 10p a go! This isn't Cardiff, you know!

Jared "No Nickname" Hansen: Do I look as though I give the slightest shit about this?

Robert Smith?: Hrm. Enemy of the World has 11 reviews and Web of Fear has 13. Bet it doesn't stay that way for much longer...

Sparacus II: Thats rather simplistic sparacus.

Charles Daniels: "Revenge is a petty human emotion. My purpose for you is far more interesting."
"And what's that?"
"Through time and space and bad porn films I have observed you Doctor. Your perversion surpasses that of all other creatures."
"What do you want?"
"YOU! Your perverse desires will be invaluable to me, therefore I have invented a machine that will drainall past sexual fantasies and experience from your mind."
"NO! You can't! It will leave me a gibbering geek!"

The Daily Mirror: Nine episodes of lost Doctor Who return! Also, 8.2% unemployed expected to die this winter due to expensive electricity bills. And ten million to be won on the lottery.

Gallifrey Base: The first rule of missing episodes is you do not talk about missing episodes. The second rule of missing episodes is YOU DO NOT TALK ABOUT MISSING EPISODES!

Steven Moffat: Yeah, bringing back the Great Intelligence doesn't seem so retarded now, does it?

SciFiNow Magazine: Meh. Now, Scream of the Shalka - THAT is proper Doctor Who, you hear?

Mark Gatiss: Episode 2 of The Web of Fear has Patrick Troughton at the height of his powers! Victory of the Daleks is historically accurate! Night Terrors is my greatest script! The original ending of The Idiot's Lantern didn't put me on RTD's blacklist! There is no such thing as Macra!!!


Ian Levine: I deny this reality. I DENY IT!!!!!!!

9 comments:

Matthew Blanchette said...

Calm down. It was never going to be ninety. It turned out to be nine. That's something.

Youth of Australia said...

Then why extra secrecy? Why delay it for three days? Why an embargo for six hours? How did that help ANYONE or ANYTHING?

And as for "it was never going to be ninety", it was never going to be nine either. Enemy of the World 4 was second only to Feast of Steven as "unlikeliest ever to be found".

And yet it was.

And as this is still my blog I can rant as much as I like - particularly after being nearly killed twice in one night!

Matthew Blanchette said...

...well, that's unfortunate. But, be happy you're still alive to actually see Troughton say "huh"?" after every second sentence. ;-)

Youth of Australia said...

Yes, yes. You're right. The point is that there was a lot of compelling evidence to suggest that more had been found, and it was a let down - I mean, they found ELEVEN episodes, Matthew! You know why they didn't mention the other two? Because we already had those!

True, this is an awesome day and thank Zarquon we can see a Yeti/UNIT story properly and all that - but still, even at my most pessimistic I was also expecting to get Marco Polo with these two...

(Also, bear in mind my computer can't work with youtube, itunes, etc. so I can't watch any of the new stuff, not even trailers, so there's nothing to assuage my rage).

Miles Reid-Lobatto said...


So, it'd be bad taste for me to mention that the wife and I are watching it right now and enjoying the hell out of it?

Youth of Australia said...

Not sure about bad taste, but, yeah, rather insensitive...

Enjoy it for me, since I can't.

Persona Herein said...

Not sure if it would make you more or less mad to know that nobody in Australia can buy the Itunes episodes, but a lot of other people. Something wacky about rights restrictions or something.

(What kind of rights restrictions can possibly be in play here, I have no idea.)

Of course, Phillip Morris could turn up trumps again some time. There must be some reason why he's not on hand for the press publicity.

Youth of Australia said...

The bizarre six-hour embargo is still a mystery. Is Moff saving more missing episodes to released once the furore of these ones have died down.

"It's Friday, it's six o'clock... TIME FOR SOME MORE TROUGHTON!!!"

Matthew Blanchette said...

I'm going to guess the Beeb are holding off on releasing a Hartnell; the rumours had "Enemy", "Web", and "Marco Polo", and since we've gotten the former... there can't be smoke without fire, huh? ;-)