Friday, September 13, 2013

Where the hell was Clara?

In the last fanwank-fermenting episode, Clara Oswald was flung like confetti through history - a million echoes of her living and dying all over time and space, not just as humans but as Time Lords, Daleks and others, each one undoing the evil retcons of the Great Intelligence to preserve Jon Preddle's TimeLink continuity... but just where did she end up? Only a handful of instances are mentioned (and marked with underline) but the rest are left to my sickened imagination...

The Name of the Doctor
Clara is a Time Lord technician who lets the Doctor into the TARDIS after the GI locks the Type 40's door to make him choose another.

An Unearthly Child
The sabre-tooth tiger that bites Za, forcing a moral confrontation betwixt the Doctor and Ian, ensuring the Time Lord gets a moral slap for being such an arse and leading to him becoming a hero.

The Daleks
A hard one, but if there's an explanation for that Thal in the last episode who gets shot by the Daleks multiple times but does not die and instead beats the shit out of them with a wooden plank, then...

The Edge of Destruction
Not applicable. Seriously.

Marco Polo
Ping-Cho, naturally. Tegena would have killed them all without her.

The Keys of Marinus
Sabetha, whose presence stops the TARDIS crew perishing at the first hurdle and has a mysterious resistance to brainwashing coz she can remember shit.

The Aztecs
I'm totally stumped for this one. Cameca is way too obvious.

The Sensorites
Probably one of the nice Sensorites.

The Reign of Terror
Jean-Pierre, without whom absolutely no one else would have saved the Doctor from a burning house.

Planet of Giants
Sammy the Cat, who does not kill the TARDIS crew abd dies to reveal the crisis unfolding.

The Dalek Invasion from Earth
She's the unnamed lady rebel who gets bitchslapped by the robomen outside the saucer, no doubt distracting the Daleks from robotizing the Doctor. Unless that bit's just a flashback. OK, fine. She's Jenny.

The Rescue
The female Didonians who saves the Doctor and then dies horribly.

The Romans
Tavius, who single-handedly ensures the TARDIS crew survives Rome long enough to burn it down.

The Web Planet
That Optera that shoves her face in acid to save Ian's life.

The Crusades
Sophia, the nice little girl who manages to put Barbara in just the right sadistic brothel so Ian can Ace Rimmer her to safety, kill all the badguys, save the prostitutes and get a deep tropical tan into the bargain. Pity no one's animating this one, huh?

The Space Museum
I got nothing - unless Clara's the Dalek the Doctor hides in, thereby changing the future...

The Chase
...nope. Got nothing here. Unless she's Hifi the panda.

The Time Meddler
Edith, who leads the Doctor to the monk and helps him even after she's been beaten up and raped by vikings - a threat the monk would have saved her from.

Galaxy 4
Drahvin 4, who gets shot by Maaga in the flashback and proves what an utter cunt she is, thus ensuring the Doctor saves the right bunch of horny aliens. Look, it was either her or the Chumblie at the end, OK?

The Myth Makers
Katarina, surely? Without her, Vicki and Steven would have died and history changed.

The Dalek Masterplan
See above.

The Massacre
Fuck it, she's Anne Chaplette and Dodo. Or something. I hate this story. Speak not of it again.

The Ark
Vanussa, the only guest character in the entire story not to be a total fuckwit. Or maybe she's the Refusian that throws the statue into orbit or something. I think I've stopped caring at this point.

The Celestial Toymaker
A clown called Clara... who keeps stuffing up, allowing Steven to survive a fatal death? Coincidence? She's also the Queen of Hearts and Mrs Wiggs, both of which choose to die to frustrate the Toymaker's plans.

The Gunfighters
Kate, who repeatedly saves the Doctor's life, flirts with him, and shoots assholes.

The Savages
Nina, who saves all of the TARDIS crew, promotes tolerance, forgiveness, and helps them destroy the Elder gizmos. There's no other options. Plus, the name of Oswin's first love.

The War Machines
Well... in my rewrite, it's Kitty. Anyone who prefers the original should rot in hell.

The Smugglers
By default, she'd have to be Blake - everyone else is a back-stabbing smuggler...

The Tenth Planet
Another one for my rewrite, which would be Andrews. In the real thing, I dunno - the whole plot is about the solution being NOT doing a damn thing and allowing forgone conclusions to forgo themselves.

The Power of the Daleks
Apparently in episode six, a woman colonist gets exterminated, distracting the Daleks while Ben, Polly and the Doctor run for their miserable lives. Good as guess as any.

The Highlanders
Kursty McLaren. She saves the TARDIS crew several times (in an admittedly no-fist-loser way) and even saves Jamie after he gets sent amnesiac back to Culloden, marries him and has lots of wee bains...

The Underwater Menace
The helpful Atlantean girl, the only sane person in the story, is called Ara. As in CLAra!! Hell, look at her and tell me it's not her!

The Moonbase
Clara is, in fact, Cyberleader Tarn and has once again resisted brainwashing - as evidenced by her "clever-clever-clever-stupid-earth-brains" sarcasm and also deliberately sabotaging her own plan by knocking out Evans just when he's taken over the gravitron and, by default, won.

The Macra Terror
Chiki the cheerleader changes her face between eps 1 and 4. That's got to be significant.

The Faceless Ones
Sam "Cleopatra" Briggs. Uncovers the chameleon scheme and fills the gap left by Ben and Polly.

The Evil of the Daleks
Molly the maid, without whom which Jamie would die, the Human Factor would never be discovered and everything would generally turn to crap. Molly's plain awesome, she is.

The Tomb of the Cybermen
Callum, who saves the day at least twice and dives in front of a bullet to protect the Doctor.

The Abominable Snowmen
I say Clara is the real yeti seen at the end, who makes sure people are drawn to the mountains to see the false Yeti and put on their guard, who goes on to stuff the GI's comeback tour in Yonder The Yeti.

The Ice Warriors
Penley. Given it's the 51st Century, he might have had a sex-change. Certainly puts a spin on his threesome with Garret and Clent...

The Enemy of the World
Fariah. Or Ferrier. That black chick food-taster sex-slave who dies after saving the TARDIS crew and exposing the true conspiracy, anyway.

The Web of Fear
She was Anne Travers the whole time, without whom the Great Intelligence would definitely have won.

Fury from the Deep
Maggie Smith, who not only helps blow the whole evil seaweed plan, also adopts Victoria.

The Wheel in Space
Gemma Corwin, the team mum who gives Zoe emotion lessons, flirts with the Doctor, saves Jamie's life and sacrifices herself to warn the others about the Cyberman threat. The fit's so perfect it's creepy.

The Dominators
Cully's the best bet, given he's brave, helpful, intelligent and doesn't consider himself a native of the planet.

The Mind Robber
Um... I dunno... does this even count? I'll say she's Rapunzel, coz she's cute and helpful.

The Invasion
It's not going to be Isobel, so I say it's nameless lorry driver UNIT agent who sacrifices his life to get the TARDIS crew out of the IE compound and as a direct result prevent the Cybermen invasion.

The Krotons
Beta, the cooking-obsessed geek who saves the day by going all Breaking Bad on the Kroton's tellurium arses and has the uncanny ability to be in two places at the same time.

The Seeds of Death
Miss Kelly. We never do find out her first name. Maybe it's Clara?

The Space Pirates
Milo Clancy. I know, I know, but he does keep saving the TARDIS crew from certain death...

The War Games
Russell, the even-tempered resistance leader used to dealing with children. Mind you, it might also be Lady Jennifer, given the different abducted time zones. Half of the soldiers could be reincarnated Claras...

Spearhead from Space
Ransome, who is the only reason UNIT twigged to Auto Plastics being suspicious. And died.

The Silurians
Okdel the token non-asshole Silurian who ultimately proves more help than the Doctor that week. And dies.

The Ambassadors of Death
This obviously happens in a parallel universe, so non-applicable. Or is it? Erm... Lennox!

Parallel universe again. But Petra does a lot of useful stuff in both universes, saving the Doctor, shutting down the Inferno drill, and of course dies for the good of the many...

Terror of the Autons
Phipps. His disappearance is a clue to the Master's plan, and he dies saving the Doctor, Jo, and leaving them the key to the TARDIS, allowing them to blackmail the Master later on.

The Mind of Evil
She's Chin Lee, whose mere presence unravels the Master's whole scheme. She's a Chinese girl, you know.

The Claws of Axos
Actually, what DO we actually know about Pigbin Josh who alerts everyone to Axos' threat at the start?

Colony in Space
I reckon she's Caldwell. And given that the gender of several characters was a last minute change by the director, a sympathetic and moral expert forced to work in a crap job who helps save a civilization... Yeah. This Clara had a sex change to deal with being gay and became Caldwell. Fine. Don't make me watch this again, please don't...

The Daemons
Could it be Miss Hawthorne? Surely that's too obvious? Or is it?

Day of the Daleks
Miss Paget. If she hadn't called UNIT, the entire world would have ended. Twice.

The Curse of Peladon
Hrm. Grun, definitely.

The Sea Devils
Meh. Captain Hart's secretary.

The Mutants
Songergaard, as he saves Jo, cures the Mutants and helps save Solos. Plus: bald of awesome.

The Time Monster
Hippias. He's suspicious of the Master, saves Jo from the minotaur, dies horribly and reveals the secret of the crystal to the Doctor.

The Three Doctors me. Is she the recorder?

Carnival of Monsters
Shirna. Seriously, watch it. It's Clara played by another actress.

Frontier in Space
The Ogron-Eating Testicle Beast of Scrotum Valley. Saves the Doctor in every scene - coincidence?

Planet of the Daleks
Wester, a loner who saves Jo and cripples the Daleks at the cost of his own life. She's a very distorted echo this time round...

The Green Death
Nancy with the smiling face. If she hadn't done that mushroom risotto, the maggots would never have been killed, Cliff would have died, and the world's first gay computer would have gone totally Keith Allan.

The Time Warrior
Hal the Archer. You know that's an anagram of "Clara htheher"?

Invasion of the Dinosaurs
No freaking idea. Maybe that medieval peasant? I honestly haven't a clue this time.

Death to the Daleks
Bellal, who at times is a better companion than Sarah Jane this week.

The Monster of Peladon
I'll say Aggador, especially as BF have revealed the royal beasts are all hermaphrodites.

Planet of the Spiders
Tommy, who keeps the spiders at bay for the Doctor to save Sarah and embark on his suicide mission, conveniently overcoming his retardation just in time to do so.

Whoever it was that jammed the coutndown the second time. Thanks, Clara!

The Ark in Space
Rogin, who is a common-as-muck normal human who dies saving the Doctor and the human race.

The Sontaran Experiment
Um... Roth?

Genesis of the Daleks
Bettan, the only nice Thal who keeps the Doctor going when he thinks Sarah and Harry are dead, entombs the Daleks and even sets up a CCTV of Davros getting fried.

Revenge of the Cybermen
Lester, the deadpan snarky suicide bomber who saves the Doctor, Voga and everyone. Except Cybermen.

Terror of the Zygons
She was the Tibetan monk who taught the Doctor how to hypnotize Sarah.

Planet of Evil
Vishinsky's the only viable option in this one as he is the only character to be in anyway intelligent, helpful or anything but cannon fodder.

Pyramids of Mars
Everyone says it's her hand under Sutekh's arse. Why not? I can't think of a better candidate...

The Android Invasion
No idea. Maybe it wasn't worth either her or the Great Intelligence's time.

The Brain of Morbius
At least one of those Sisters on Karn must count...

The Seeds of Doom
Amelia Ducat, who reveals Harrison Chase is behind the scam and also helps contact UNIT.

The Masque of Mandragora
You know what? I say Count Frederiko. Think about it - if he hadn't tried to execute the Doctor, Sarah wouldn't have been saved, Hieronymous wouldn't have been distracted, our heroes would have been tortured to death... and if he'd succeeded in killing Guiliano, well, Sarah would have been saved a hell of a lot of trouble when he started a cult that would split into a faction run by Servalan and a faction run by Travis...

The Hand of Fear
The Steve Coogan-lookalike who saves the Doctor and Sarah from the quarry explosion, helps the Doctor work out where Eldrad came from and - in the book - gets them back to the TARDIS safely.

The Deadly Assassin
Well, Clara the Time Lord was around. Presumably she helped. Somehow. Off screen. Maybe.

The Face of Evil
Tomas. He saves the Doctor, Leela and seems to be the only negotiator on the planet.

Robots of Death
I'm calling her as D84, the self-sacrificing nice robot. Because the Fendahl can go fuck itself.

The Talons of Weng-Chiang
The cleaning woman that Magnus Greel eats. After all, without her, Leela would have been consumed first and that would make everyone unhappy.

Horror of Fang Rock
Skinsale. He's the nicest aristo there (not that that says much) comes up with the diamond scam, delays the Rutan, and dies horribly.

The Invisible Enemy
Parsons, who dies heroically after working out a solution and saves Marius and his nurse.

Image of the Fendahl
She's a security guard who releases the Doctor from the cell. Again, self-felating Fendahleen.

The Sunmakers
Cordo, the orphaned suicidal youngster who inspires the Doctor and Leela to change the world.

I want to say Tara, but frankly Idas is more likely to be a brave and helpful aid...

The Invasion of Time
She's a Time Lord who helps distract the Doctor, thus stopping the Intelligence from blowing his cover and alerting the Vardans.

The Ribos Operation
The Seeker. True, she's not particularly helpful but she does keep the Graff's forces from slaughtering the rest of Ribos and leads them to their doom which not only saves the Doctor but gets him the Jethryk, sacrificing her life in the process.

The Pirate Planet
Balatan. The novelization even has him die, triggering a revolt against the Captain.

The Stones of Blood
The indispensible Amelia Rumford has a lot of Clara about her... even going through a gay phase.

The Androids of Tara
Madam Lamia, who's death totally destabilizes the political situation, frees Romana and leaves Grendel so mucked up emotionally he lets things turn against him. According to the author.

The Power of Kroll

The Armageddon Factor
The Shadow, who is after all, a reanimated ghost of one of the Doctor's foes. I say it's Clara, deliberately screwing things up to let the Doctor win. Because the only other candidate is Merak and god damn that would be insulting to Clara.

Destiny of the Daleks

City of Death
I instinctively think she's the little, high-strung old art guide who the Doctor winds up so often. Unless, of course, she was, in fact, the Mona Lisa herself...

The Creature from the Pit
The Huntsman in charge of the wolfweeds who takes over Chloris and is nice to Erato.

Nightmare of Eden
Stott - though with his suicidal lust wise-cracking attitudes, he does seem more like Amy than Clara.

The Horns of Nimon
Seth, I guess. He does save the Doctor and Romana, after all.

Claire Keightley, based on the novelization, at least as a hyper-intelligent nice lady scientist.

The Leisure Hive
Nice Foamasi, who saves Romana, prevents a second Argolin war, and seems very fond of the Doctor.

She's Lexa, patterned on a different past companion, who saves Romana and helps to keep the Doctor and Meglos apart. OK, bit of a bloodthirsty bigot, but still...

Full Circle
Marsha the Marshchild, obviously! She gives the Doctor all the clues to save the day and never attacks him.

State of Decay
Tarak. He reveals the Lords are vampires, infiltrates the tower and saves the Doctor, Romana and Adric at the cost of his own life.

Warriors' Gate
The chatty Gundan who explains the plot... slightly... to the Doctor before being brutally beheaded.

The Keeper of Traken
Katura because, like Cameca, is there another option? Plus she dies horribly soon after.

"She was the Watcher all the time..." Nah, actually she was... um... er... the Monitor?

The little girl who teaches the Doctor to count, thus breaking the amnesia and putting him on the offensive.

Four to Doomsday
For sheer deadpan sarcasm, I say Bigon.

Panna - she saves the day, inspires the Doctor, and even gets reincarnated.

The Visitation
Well, it's as good a justification for Richard Mace as any. Odd how the Doctor only calls him "the actor", and never by his name...

Black Orchid
The "Strike me pink!" copper who follows the Doctor into the TARDIS and proves him innocent. Yeah. Clara didn't have to do much that week.

Professor Kyle. Nyssa would have died without her. Hell, without her, no one would have found the bomb. And thus not only would Earth be destroyed, the human race wouldn't exist. Clever Clara.

Meh. Professor Haytor, I suppose...

Arc of Infinity
Clara is one of the Time Lord brains in the Matrix that makes sure the Doctor doesn't discorporate after his "execution" by Maxil.

Chela, the only non-possessed non-Snakedancer to be helpful. Even SOUNDS like Clara!

Mawdryn Undead
...whoever she is, she must be the one that stops the Black Guardian's plan from working. Is she the Brigadier?!?

Kari the substitute companion space pirate who saves the universe at least three times.

Jackson, who convinces the TARDIS crew not to blindly trust the Eternals before they get to him - and who Turlough betrays, guilt-tripping him into a suicide attempt that convinces the Doctor to trust him.

The King's Demons
I say Isabella, as the book has her allying herself with the Doctor in the epilogue and promising to remember that clever boy after everyone else in Fitzwilliam Castle is out for his blood.

The Five Doctors
She's a 1970s girl who lures the Third Doctor into the time-scoop's path, and thus saves Sarah-Jane Smith from spraining her ankle. Hey, I didn't come up with this one!

Warriors of the Deep
I'm going to say it's the Myrka. Just because I can. Note it spares the Doctor and Tegan, and the only speaking part it kills would have triggered WW4 had they been allowed to escape. Any further discussion might draw Thomas Cookson and we don't want that, do we?

The Awakening
Will Chandler, definitely.

Norna Range.

Resurrection of the Daleks
In my rewrite, it's Zena for obvious reasons. Else... I dunno. Laird?

Planet of Fire
Amiyad. It's easy to spot Claras from now on - they're the ones NOT trying to rape Peri.

The Caves of Androzani
She's the queen bat which the script makes clear allows the Doctor to milk her when she could clearly have murdered him with her bare claws.

The Twin Dilemma
Hugo Lang, child-rescuing sharp-shooting deadpan-snarker.

Attack of the Cybermen
Flast, the nice suicide bomber who saves the Doctor and blows up the Cybermen.

Vengeance on Varos
Etta, who saves our heroes more than once by not being completely stupid.

The Mark of the Rani
Luke Ward. Saves Peri even after being brainwashed and turned into a tree. Tough break.

The Two Doctors
Oscar, who keeps Shockeye away from the main populace long enough to die for it.

Herbert. (It should be noted that Herbert is NOT HG Wells the writer but a completely different bloke with the same name, given his appearance, personality and life history is clompletely different - it's all a really freaky coincidence, probably because Clara's distorting time. Probably.)

Revelation of the Daleks
The DJ. You can tell because he's one of the few nice, helpful, non-rapist characters in the story.

The Mysterious Planet
She's one of the underground dwellers who keeps people from finding the Doctor.

Well, there's no way of telling, is there?

Terror of the Vervoids
Stewardess Janet, naturally.

The Trial of a Time Lord

Time and the Rani
Sarn, who indirectly provokes the Lakertyans to fight back, saves Mel's life and who the Doctor categorically does not remember.

Paradise Towers
Bin Liner. Fire Escape and the Red Kangs wouldn't get far without her.

Delta and the Bannermen
Ray. Though she was also a Wolf of Fenric, but Clara can multitask, surely?

She's an Iceworld tourist who helps Glitz save the Doctor from the trap the Intelligence got him into. See, there WAS a reason he jumped off the cliff!

Remembrance of the Daleks
Alison, who saves the Doctor from Kaled mutants - about the only time he's in danger in that story.

The Happiness Patrol
Susan Q.

Silver Nemesis

The Greatest Show in the Galaxy

Shou Young.

Ghost Light

The Curse of Fenric
Ingiga, the Ancient One, who is a girl believe or not, who waits for centuries to defeat a formless intelligence and save the Doctor's life. Plus, she started out as a normal human, so it COULD be JLC under the blue flesh and gills. No one can say otherwise.

Kara, the bisexual friend of Dorothy who repeated saves Ace, tries to kill the Master, gets turned into a monster and then dies. Even the name!

Wierd-Ass Eighth Doctor Story
Well, she's in Florida and stops the Eighth Doctor and the Second Doctor bump into each other. So, uh...

The unseen and dead HP Wilson who saved the Doctor from the Autons.

The End of the World
Jabe. She burns to motivate/save the Doctor, Rose and the Face of Boe.

The Unqiuet Dead
I say, the old dead lady at the start. Why else would she go to a theatre within screaming distance of the TARDIS on Christmas Eve? And what would have happened if she hadn't, hmm?

Aliens of London

Di Maggio. Only nice person in the bunker, saves Rose's life, tries to be nice to the Dalek. And dies.

The Long Game
Sukki. Not even being dead will stop the self-confessed cuddly anarchist from flirting with the Doctor, exposing Dalek masterplans, and using her iron-grip cleavage jiggle to save the day.

Father's Day
Um, does this count? Then I'll say she's Matt, who runs over Pete and saves the universe.

The Empty Child

Cathy Salt, who breaks Blon's resolve and (it seems) convinces her to start afresh.

The Parting of the Ways
The Controller, who exposes the Dalek scam, repeatedly saves the Doctor, and dies for her troubles.

The Christmas Invasion
Um... the medical student who gives Jackie the stethoscope? I admit, I'm grasping for straws here.

New Earth
Novice Hame. I guess.

Tooth and Claw
Sir Robert's wife who delays the wolf by making mistletoe soup.

School Reunion
Kenny's girlfriend, whose brainwashing convinces him to help the Doctor and co.

The Girl In The Fireplace
Arthur the horse!

Rise of the Cybermen
Mrs. Moore. Angela Price. Whatever.

The Idiot's Lantern
Oh, Christ, don't remind me of this one... um, Rita Connelly. Ow.

The Satan Pit
Mr. "Motherfucking" Jefferson.

Love & Monsters
Um... well... I dunno. Does this count? Seriously?

Fear Her
The wierd bag lady who can sense Chloe Webber's shinanigans. This episode is very popular with kids, BTW, so anyone who whines it's too childish can gas themselves like the vermin they are.

Army of Ghosts
Adeola. Not only does she look like another companion, without her, the Voidsphere wouldn't open and thus the Cult of Skaro would never be destroyed.

The Runaway Bride
...hard one, given Donna is the only nice person in the whole episode. Maybe she's the blonde who reminds the Doctor of Rose, forcing him to sort his shit out.

Smith & Jones
Analisse, since she convinces Martha to ditch her hellhole of a family.

The Shakespeare Code
The landlady of the White Elephant.

Jatt the Fox, the kinky lesbian animal driver who dies saving Martha from Macra.

Daleks in Manhattan
Tallulah, obvs.

The Lazarus Experiment
Olive woman, who's death gets everyone else to escape from Lazarus and also sate the bastard's appetite for long enough the Doctor can nuke him.

Riley Vashtee.

Human Nature
Tim Latimer, say I.

Probably someone involved in the 4 things and a lizard.

Chan-Chan-Tho-Tho. Why else is she so clued up about the watch?

The Sound of Drums
Um... Professor Docherty? You know I never realized how many resets there'd been til I did this list...

Time Crash
Again. Non-freaking-applicable.

Partners in Crime
The fat lady what melts into fat in front of Donna, thus clueing her in as to what's going on.

The Fires of Pompeii
She's got to be in this, given that the natives are clearly incarnations of the Twelfth Doctor, Amy, Klein, Sally Smedley and Mr. Scratch... she must be the chicken that warns the Doctor of the pyrovile approach.

The Sontaran Stratagem
Ross Jenkins, the rich man's Adam Rickett.

The Doctor's Daughter
Hath Peck, who dies saving Martha. Did I mention this episode is really uncomfortable to watch nowadays? Seriously, my family were avoiding their gaze every time DT and GM made baby eyes at each other...

The Unicorn and the Wasp
The Unicorn.

Silence of the Library
Miss Evangalista, who is the only 51st century person not a complete jerk.

The Hostess - her name was Clara.

Turn Left
This cannot count, surely?! OK, maybe she's the fortune teller, since she exposes the whole "Rose is back" thing. This means Chippo Chung has been Clara twice. Hmmm...

Journey's End
Caaaaaaaaaaannn! Clara's been a Dalek before, why not now?

The Next Doctor
Jeff, who gets the balloon in the air for the big fight scene.

Planet of the Dead
Praygat the Tritovore. You didn't think it was going to be Christina, did you?

Probably that alien played by Lisa Bowerman. Does anyone care about this one?

The Waters of Mars
The unseen crackhead hiding in Adelaide's apartment who shoots her through the head as soon as she steps through the door. (c) the kids next door.

The End of Time
Could the woman be Clara...? Actually, I hope not. Kind of gross.

The Eleventh Hour

The Beast Below
Sarah the little crying girl.

Victory of the Daleks
Oh, who cares?

The Time of the Angels
Angel Bob, who does after all do absolutely everything he can to make the Doctor kill them all.

The Vampires of Venice

Amy's Choice

Cold Blood

Vincent and the Doctor
The two-headed godmother who gave the Doctor his mirror-identifying gizmo.

The Lodger

The cat that spies on the house for the Doctor.

The Pandorica Opens
Erm... uh...

A Christmas Carol
She's the shark, obviously.

The Impossible Astronaut
Crazy Dr. Renford.

The Curse of the Black Spot
The siren.

The Doctor's Wife
Idris. Before her soul was destroyed and she became a host for the TARDIS.

The Rebel Flesh
Ganger Miranda.

A Good Man Goes To War
Lorna Bucket. "You don't remember me, do you?" are her last words for crying out loud...

Let's Kill Hitler
Professor Candy at the Lunar University.

Night Terrors
She is the merciful being that allowed me to see this three times without taking my own life.

The Girl Who Waited
Totally stumped on this one. Totally. Does it count?

The God Complex
Lucie the policewoman in the pre-credits bit. She was actually called "Lucie Miller" at one stage, coz Toby Whithouse wanted to see her beaten to death by a gorilla. Now, if that isn't proof he should be the next showrunner then what the hell is?!

Closing Time

The Wedding of River Song
Jeez, a lot of unreal histories, aren't there? I'll say she's the cute lab tech working for River who gets electrocuted.

A Christmas Carol
I'll say she's Bill Bailey, all I can remember from this episode I have made absolutely no attempt to own a copy of. Yeah, Moff. Feel the shame.

Asylum of the Daleks

Dinosaurs on a Spaceship
Tricey the noble triceratops who sacrifices her life to save Cleo, Bryan, Rory and the Doctor. Sniff.

A Town Called Mercy
Probably that dumb little girl narrating the end of the episode. Though the barmaid was more help...

The Power of Three
She was one of the Zygons. Not my fault if you didn't see her.

The Snowmen


Matthew Blanchette said...

...really? No comments? For SHAME, commentariat! :-(

Youth of Australia said...

I know. I guess I'll just go back to posting music videos...