Saturday, September 25, 2010

NOT NEWS: I am still alive

As I marvel that those on the interweb wonder what happen to me even though I've got half a dozen blogs, a facebook account and the fact I'll talk to anyone who emails me. Obviously even googling "Ewen Campion-Clarke" is beyond those I left begind on a certain opinion forum.

I'll just pad out the post with Johan Redsen's amazing Mad Larry Rant Formula.

You know what I can't stand? The way there's so much Who material and not enough time to appreciate it. I've got a ton of BFs, books, comics and more to experience, and never give them the indepth exploration I would like the early days of Illegal Alien or The Stones of Venice. Not to say I'm falling over myself to drool over Victory of the Daleks or the latest DWM comic strip ripping off the most famous Angel episode ever, but rather having time to remember damn well ANYTHING about the latest PMG story featuring moments that will make fandom punch the air in joy (Graeme Garden is the Meddling Monk!) and punch out their monitor screens in disgust (and he's got Lucie Bleeding Miller as his companion!). It's just that some waffling Oirish-accented monks wandering around and a mystery about a book that was found in a toilet never really leapt out and grabbed me as a plot - the returning characters were the only thing to grab my attention. The problem with it, of course, is that there are so many oddball one-off stories that you need a return of Axons or Time Meddlers to stand out of the crowd. And it's been this way since they kicked Rudd out of office. Assholes.

The thing that really irritates me, though, is that the answer is so bleeding obvious. Rather than taking spara's lead, which would be to make the central character a psychotic pedophile murderer wanking over small children he sees on the beach in order to make a story memorable before changing his mind and trying to start an annual that went nowhere just like the last three without my help - this isn't Torchwood where effects have no cause and visa versa. No. The answer is to force the government to pay me vast amounts of money for pissing about with photoshop to make covers for stories that near-as-dammit-are-never-written.

I know doubtless Mlock would say "Oh, Ewen, your genius makes me want to take my own life in worship of you" at this point, but fuck off you creepy puppet-fetishing jerk! It's that same type of attitude that lead to my being in therapy!

And before you jump up and down shouting "Hang on, a published BBC author had Nyssa slagging off Adric for being a Monty Python fan?!" I want to make it clear that I wouldn't want to write for that stupid annual anyway since no one is willing to acknowledge my genius at the best of times except of course when THEY can't be arsed to do it themselves. Like a BC project earned MORE effort than simply running a YOA episode through find-and-replace and recasting Nigel as Ben, Andrew as Kyle and Dave as K9! Like worse things haven't happened to Ben's arse in the Chathamological canon anyway...

In the meantime...

...I really should get round to finishing that one day.

Ooh, and a present for The Legacy...

5 comments:

Just Gavin said...

Hay mate, good to see your still active on the interweb than, you sort of haven't been present on Galifrey Base and we were wondering why, but looks like your still your same self than. Hope to see you back there soon mate.

Person112

Youth of Australia said...

Alas no, person 112.

The mods and I had one last difference of opinion. I pointed out they outright ignored any complaints of cyber-bullying they made yet leapt to destroy my artwork. They replied that if I didn't like the way they ran GB, I was perfectly free to leave.

Being a stubborn and aggressive son of a bitch, I told them I would rather they disable my account than put up with the hypocrisy, corruption and vendettas I would be forced to put up with if I stayed.

So they did.

Turns out, however, that I can still be contacted via GB, using the "email" option of my profile - hence how I found out people were wondering where I was.

In the meantime I've been out partying, relaxing, drowning in the arms of pretty girls and struggling to see the appeal of facebook walls.

AND pissing about with photoshop, natch.

Matthew Blanchette said...

I'm glad you're pissing about with Photoshop, but you never responded to my last e-mail; considering your current despondency, I was worried you'd... well, I was worried. :-(

If you want, I could resend that e-mail, again; you might've just misplaced it.

Youth of Australia said...

I'm glad you're pissing about with Photoshop, but you never responded to my last e-mail; considering your current despondency, I was worried you'd... well, I was worried. :-(
Well, despondent I was, but I replied to your last one... it was about Susan coming back or something.

If you want, I could resend that e-mail, again; you might've just misplaced it.
Definite idea.

Matthew Blanchette said...

I'll do that, then; can't remember what it was, offhand, as it's been so long ago, but I'll just look it up. :-/