Saturday, August 8, 2009

Why RTD *didn't* write The Liesure Hive

Romana was peering cautiously inside the door of the generator. 'We must get the Randomizer back,' she declared. 'Perhaps after we've run a checkout routine to see how much of the computer is still operational, it will be safe to go inside.'

But the Doctor had had enough of Randomizers to last him for a very long time. 'Why bother?' he said.

'We can't leave the Randomizer here.'

'Why not?'

'We'll never know where the TARDIS is going to turn up next.'

'Good,' replied the Doctor. He walked over to the TARDIS and opened the door. 'Neither will the Black Guardian. Apart from Randomizers,' he went on, 'I’m getting sick and tired of bogeymen with ideas above their station. The cosmos is full of them.'

Suddenly, an intense lady dressed in a seamless, fluorescent suit that fitted her like a second skin, wearing a hat that looked as if it were made out of living moss (which it was) wandered up out of nowhere. 'Doctor!' she called, waving a set of jewelled nails in his direction. 'Be warned! Your end is nigh and you are not prepared for it!'

The lady in the fluorescent suit attempted to wither the tall, oddly dressed figure with a glance. In the course of her seven marriages it was a technique she had employed successfully to reduce her husbands to nerveless wrecks.

But the Doctor, unwithered, unwrecked, smiled aimiably. 'Is it really?' he asked.

'He is returning from the weed-covered stone!' the woman ranted insanely. 'He is waiting for you to fall out of this universe to face what lies beyond!'

'That's nice,' the Doctor beamed.

'He will unleash the darkness and try to be its Master!'

'Really? How interesting!' the Time Lord lied.

'And then, oh, but then, the man in white on the bridge will lie, but you must do as you are told even though it will destroy you and know that, in the final conflict...'

But while the woman in the moss hat had been blathering on, the Doctor and Romana had got bored and entered the blue police box which promptly dematerialized from the Great Recreation Hall with a strange whirring noise. The woman stood there for a moment, looking useless, and then finally took the hint and buggered off.


Pseudo said...

You mean you don't like RTD's attempts at sub-Babylon 5 prophecy?

Youth of Australia said...


Maybe I mean something else.

Who can tell?