Sunday, August 16, 2009

Piss-Farting-About With Photoshop

The result of two hours' tedium upon hearing of a certain fan fic anthology being created - ask no questions, get no lies and try not to giggle.

Not bad if I say so myself. Not particularly good, admittedly, but check out some of the crap offered by GENUINE Short Trips (Life Science, Monsters and Defining Patterns really take the cake.)

A little mid-regeneration hallucinagenic mindfuck. Worked better in my head, I guess...

Dr. Spoon guest-stars as some lesser-known audio companion who isn't Landon, along with my facebook persona (from Screams of a Winter Night theatre poster if you must know) and some funky wetworks parody. Yes, so what if Red Dwarf did it better?

The return of everyone's favorite parasitic nomads! And the Nimon.

Alan Barnes' Orbis managed to make a silk purse out of the biohazard waste of Vengeance of Morbius. I attempt to do the same with that rubbish Cyberman bit from Webs of Time. Yeah, the Cybermen look stoned. I wasn't exactly breaking my back for this one. Or any of them come to think of it...

Master versus Voord. Whoever loses... I don't care. Did that come across enough?

There are no photos of any kind about the character in this story. Nor do we know what she looks like, who she is, where she comes from, what she does and niether do we know exactly what happens to her in the story. So here's a picture of Amy Pond and what she wears under all those shapeless jumpers and skirts. Blimey.

Dara Hamilton takes on Peri's worst nightmare. By which I mean that green lightbulb crap from The Enemy Within, not the Borad putting on Barry White albums while Brian Blessed gets out the lubricant...

A tale of the real-life Captain Kidd, a pirate who makes Captain Feathersword look like a dangerous and competent mastermind.

You ever notice that "Loki" is an anagram of "Kilo"? Well. Now you do.

Just what the world needs. Empire of the Daleks - expanded! As there are no photos of Colonel Chrichton, here's Leftennant Carstairs facing the crash of the Starship Titanic. And a funky redesigned Dalek whose details are totally lost in the mushroom cloud. Sociopolitical comment or bad composition? YOU DECIDE!

A touching character-based tale unfortunately reliant on stories that nobody... and I mean nobody... has actually heard.

Jeff Coburn finally takes part in the Cyber-zombie apocalypse story I've been flogging since 2006. Still, that's more variety than some BAFTA winners provide... (Yeah, Moff, not happy!!)

Terrifying Nightingales final episode rewritten! "Doesn't this hack have ANY ideas of his own?" demands said hack before accidentally shutting off his own blog. "Obviously not," readers reply.

Meh. War stories, ruthlessless, loss of humanity, dark introspection, yes that is Xenon base exploding, blah, blah, blah, blah.

Historical cowboy romp. The worshippers of Peter Haining recoil instinctively.

Meditations on the abyss by those who are yet to exist. Pretentious? Definitely.

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