Sunday, November 23, 2014

"So, you escaped from [insert-location]!"

Well, it's Doctor Who Day - and, typically, the ABC are celebrating by showing the wrong episode - and how better to celebrate than with a tedious list of fanwankery and theories? Given Moffat's public announcement that when Missy returns there will be absolutely no explanation of how she survived in best Ainley fashion, we have to wonder - what else has that gloss covered over?

From the top...

Master: Richard E Grant/the Magister
Last Seen: blasted to an unknown point in time and space by Omega, wearing the Doctor's body
Next Seen: no idea, but it's presumably to explain how he went evil and hated the Doctor.
Explanation: n/a. Maybe he was an avatar of the Great Intelligence?

Master: Roger Delgado/Koschei
Last Seen: Wishing he was as cool as the War Chief
Next Seen: Presumably being as cool as the War Chief


Master: unknown/Magnus
Last Seen: pissed off the Doctor ruined his bid for glory and birds
Next Seen: as Edward Brayshaw calling himself the War Cheif.
Explanation: detabatable canonicity here, I suppose, given the dodgy premise of the Seventh Doctor recording this argument then playing it back to Benny (who doesn't remember anything when she actually meets the Master). But it goes to show...

Master: unknown (hints it's the Alex McQueen version)
Last Seen: trying to win the TARDIS off eBay to piss the Doctor off in the 21st Century
Next Seen: as someone more evil
Explanation: the First Doctor has no surprise someone called steam_r14 is trying to buy a police box when dr_who, but given it's just an excuse for him to take Ian and Barbara on a road trip through America, they might actually be friends at this point.


Master: Roger Delgado/Koschei
Last Seen: gone totally evil and being sucked into a black hole, unable to escape because his TARDIS is in a time-loop that never lets him press the button to escape.
Next Seen: Terror of the Autons, I guess.
Explanation: apparently Koschei escapes but it takes his entire regenerative cycle (even though his face is the same - maybe he kept some severed limbs around). I say "apparently" as I've never actually read this written down, it's just something all the encyclopedias say. It's not in the book itself.

Master: unclear - Jamie doesn't recognize him, but this is Season 6b
Last Seen: being a git
Next Seen: in proper continuity
Explanation: so, the Master tries to get rid of the Second Doctor and Jamie by tricking them into using the Necromonicon to take them to Ryleh the city of Cthulu. It doesn't work. We don't care.


Master: Edward Brayshaw/The War Chief
Last Seen: screaming like a girl as he's used as target practice by the War Lord's gimps, and then tidily shoved to stage left a minute before the Time Lords arrive.
Next Seen: Timewyrm: Exodus.
Explanation: because, apparently the War Lord was so amazed that the War Chief had survived the execution, he managed to arrange the body to be taken onto a hitherto-unmentioned spaceship with an unseen crew to take it back to the alien planet - rather than the SIDRAT the War Lord himself was using to get there in the middle of an armed revolt, and entire during half-a-second he was out of camera view, and the Time Lords never actually spotted him. So the War Chief regenerated into a walking tholidomide spider with a white beard and vowed to stay alongside the aliens even after they were time-looped out of existence and the War Lord himself was erased from existence, but his identical son totally remembered the whole thing and decided the best approach was to EXACTLY THE SAME PLAN, WITHOUT VARIATION... actually, you know what, I just can't even summarize it. Let alone the fact the War Chief was a nice guy betrayed by Borusa's political crusade many, many centuries before Borusa even got involved in politics! GOD DAMN IT!!

You know what, I need to turn to Chris McKeon's fanfiction to try and even comprehend this...

Master: Edmund Bailey/the old guy with the beard running Mdm Tussaud's from Spearhead in Space
Last Seen: burning alive in an exploding SIDRAT
Next Seen: leaving Earth in his TARDIS
Explanation: so, you see, after getting blown up in that nuclear explosion in Germany, the War Chief regenerated, was captured by the Time Lords, was imprisoned on Shada, escaped with a spare SIDRAT thanks to the CIA, followed the Doctor to Earth, hid in the waxworks as the curator, tried to con the Doctor into letting him steal the TARDIS, but the SIDRAT exploded and he regenerated again...

...seriously, isn't it so much easier to ignore Exodus? Isn't it?

Master: Roger Delgado
Last Seen: plotting out the Barry Letts era
Next Seen: in the Barry Letts era
Explanation: none required, it's just one of those "Master in Season 7" stories we all love.


Master: Roger Delgado
Last Seen: driving off in a stolen coach (not his TARDIS)
Next Seen: one year later as a highly-established international scientist/ordinary telephone engineer
Explanation: um, apparently he set all the Keller Machine stuff up, it stalled, and he went back to the Autons for this story.


Master: Roger Delgado
Last Seen: driving off in a stolen van a few metres from a thermonuclear explosion
Next Seen: prank-calling the Doctor from the safety of his TARDIS.
Explanation: um, just that he escaped and he's being a real bitch about it.

Master: Roger Delgado
Last Seen: driving off in a limo in front of the UNIT family
Next Seen: being slightly less smug
Explanation: who cares?

Master: Roger Delgado
Last Seen: running into his TARDIS to escape the time-loop (see The Dark Path)
Next Seen: as an Adjudicator called Martin
Explanation: even the Brigadier is savvy enough to realize he escaped.

Master: Roger Delgado
Last Seen: escaping in his TARDIS.
Next Seen: as a vicar called Victor Magister
Explanation: um, kind of up there on screen, really.

Master: Roger Delgado
Last Seen: being booed by small children as he is arrested by UNIT
Next Seen: in jail
Explanation: the Doctor apparently convinced the authorities that executing a Time Lord would be really bad karma (that's assumed, all that's stated is the Doctor ensured that the Master got a cushy cell at the taxpayer's expense).

Master: Roger Delgado
Last Seen: in a cell
Next Seen: in a cell
Explanation: he doesn't get out of the damn cell, of course! Jeez, some people.

Master: Roger Delgado
Last Seen: being recaptured by UNIT
Next Seen: back in a cell
Explanation: continuity must be adhered to, but seriously. Even the Joker has a better escape rate, and he actually likes being in jail!

Master: Roger Delgado
Last Seen: um... er... he's never actually seen, tbh...
Next Seen: ...give me a second...
Explanation: The idea is that the Master, possibly in the future, zips back along the Doctor's timeline using the Glasshouse/C19/Torchwood/Forge to undermine UNIT and corrupt established history. So he may not actually be trying to escape prison, for once. But he does put a bullet through Dodo's brain, proving beyond all doubt that he is a magnificent shot.

Master: Roger Delgado
Last Seen: being recaptured by UNIT
Next Seen: back in a cell
Explanation: See the above. God dammit.

Master: Roger Delgado
Last Seen: back in his cell
Next Seen: in a different cell
Explanation: for crying out loud!

Master: Roger Delgado
Last Seen: stealing a hovercraft
Next Seen: killing hitchhikers, fleeing to Devil's End and escaping in his TARDIS.
Explanation: one of the less-annoying parts of The Eight Doctors, really.

Master: Roger Delgado
Last Seen: accidentally being sealed in a monster-filled hell dimension with no way out
Next Seen: not being in a monster-filled hell dimension
Explanation: none. Presumably Torchwood let him out doing something stupid.

Master: Roger Delgado
Last Seen: running away from his disco-time-machine before it explodes
Next Seen: doing something else
Explanation: who needs one? The Doctor is surprised when Jo even thinks the Master might have been killed in the short-circuit-disco-time-machine explosion.

Master: Roger Delgado
Last Seen: Sulking in his TARDIS after failing to get into UNIT HQ.
Next Seen: Getting into UNIT HQ.
Explanation: Well, I guess it proves that changing tactics can work. You notice that on TV, the Master only infiltrates UNIT HQ once but in all the spin-offs he practically lives there?

Master: Roger Delgado
Last Seen: frozen motionless by a god from outside reality and prisoner of UNIT
Next Seen: unfrozen and at liberty.
Explanation: none whatsoever, which is galling as ignoring both his paralysis and his incarceration is a bit odd. Presumably he unfroze and legged it, but still...

Master: Roger Delgado
Last Seen: escaping in his TARDIS from his lamest scheme ever
Next Seen: coming up with a better plan
Explanation: amazingly, this story has the Master running an American Idol style show where people sing 21st century pop songs BORING.

Master: Roger Delgado
Last Seen: escaping a time loop in his TARDIS (he must seriously get sick of that)
Next Seen: still free
Explanation: any required?

Master: Roger Delgado
Last Seen: trapped in his TARDIS with a swarm of flash-eating dragon spores
Next Seen: not eaten by flesh-eating dragons
Explanation: none, but presumably he just opened the TARDIS doors and flushed the spores out into space before they could eat him. It was pretty easy to do.

Master: Roger Delgado (though all of them appear, even Missy)
Last Seen: no idea.
Next Seen: back on TV.
Explanation: never been arsed to read it.

Master: Roger Delgado
Last Seen: escaping in his TARDIS thanks to Kronos
Next Seen: avoiding the UNIT era
Explanation: one might imagine that the mightiest of all Chronovores ensured that the Master's freedom kept him away from Earth, but those damned spin-offs render the ending even MORE pointless than ever!

Master: Roger Delgado
Last Seen: eating a Chinese takeaway
Next Seen: avoiding the UNIT era and Iris Wildthyme
Explanation: there's a pantomime genie pretending to be the Master for some reason. This is one of the few Iris adventures I actually like, so further analysis is rather self-defeating.


Master: Roger Delgado
Last Seen: shooting the Doctor (the original cut had him run away like a girly man)
Next Seen: off camera
Explanation: Well, I guess none is needed. Though Mad Larry pointed out, the finished episode has the Master gone and Jo holding his gun, hinting that she shot the bastard through his head. This would definitely fit in with many other Master deaths due to female companions.

Master: Roger Delgado
Last Seen: marooned in Ancient Britain with a broken TARDIS and some pissed-off Vikings
Next Seen: like nothing had ever happened
Explanation: well, if the Monk could do it, why not the Master?

Master: Roger Delgado
Last Seen: Um, not at all.
Next Seen: Again!
Explanation: he doesn't appear, but he gives some whacky drugs to an evil civil servant. Just for the hell of it. Either that or he didn't want UNIT's funding cut because he wasn't considered a proper threat.


Master: Roger Delgado
Last Seen: being marched off by redcoats to be shot as a Highlander spy in 1746
Next Seen: alive
Explanation: the Doctor is confident the Master will sweet-talk his way out of things, but it's unclear how the Master escapes from Culloden given the story insists he has no TARDIS - though he does apparently have access to another time machine. But the Doctor also has access to it. I'll just say the Master escapes by mugging the Time Lords who drop Jamie off and nicking their TARDIS.

Master: Roger Delgado
Last Seen: in a pierside stall that was smashed to pieces by a runaway train and flung into the sea
Next Seen: not in TV Comic, that's fer sure.
Explanation: given the Master saw the danger coming, literally, he possibly lunged out of the way and survived like the Doctor and Blind Joe. Or maybe he did another same-face regeneration. Who knows?

Master: Roger Delgado
Last Seen: legging it when the Brigadier goes psychotic with punk music
Next Seen: giving reality itself a bit of a break
Explanation: it's a less embarrassing scheme than Hidden Talent.

Master: Roger Delgado
Last Seen: stealing gizmos from the Land of Fiction
Next Seen: outside the Land of Fiction, because he thought staying there would suck.
Explanation: none really needed.


Master: Roger Delgado
Last Seen: escaping Earth in his TARDIS
Next Seen: elsewhere
Explanation: none, as this adventure is one the Doctor has absolutely no clue that the Master is involved but this suggests that the Delgado Master was still at large during the Fourth Doctor era, rather than perishing in the Third. Unless he's just crossing timelines for shits and giggles.


Master: Roger Delgado
Last Seen: trapped on the other side of a dimensional wormhole, on the verge of regeneration, before being engulfed in a massive firestorm and dismissed by the Doctor as proper dead
Next Seen: quite possibly burnt to a crisp and played by Peter Pratt, but who can be sure?
Explanation: It could be a prequel to The Deadly Assassin, but we all know how Gatiss has a distaste for any and all fanwank...


Master: Roger Delgado
Last Seen: after thinking he's killed her granddad, Susan mind-rapes the Master, shoots him with the TCE, leaving him a burnt skeleton, then steals his TARDIS and leaves him to die on Terserus
Next Seen: hypnotizing Goth when he visits Terserus
Explanation: Well, it's all up there and on paper is quite a next and logical take. Until you read it and dear god it's awful. You know, Curse of Fatal Death achieves the same thing and funnier, too. Alas, it's the only official explanation on offer, even though Big Finish have completely decanonized it. Twice.


Master: unknown/Madrigor
Last Seen: falling over
Next Seen: possibly never
Explanation: a truly bizarre last-minute rewrite hastily has the Master changed into Madrigor, an exiled and charismatic Time Lord with an army of robots on an artificial planet. The Doctor and Sarah say hello, go back to the TARDIS, the Doctor takes off and this somehow defeats everyone. Literally, there is no explanation for what happened: The TARDIS lurched and bumped and outside everything spun in a myriad of colours, and then Madrigor and Lunargov III were no more and the TARDIS was once more earthbound. So, er, maybe we'll just move on, shall we?


Master: Peter Pratt
Last Seen: falling down a bottomless chasm
Next Seen: transformed into a more fleshy zombie and leaving in the TARDIS laughing
Explanation: the Doctor hints that the Master absorbed enough energy to partially-regenerate, presumably triggered by the fall... but how the hell did the new Master find his way back up to his TARDIS? Why didn't he keep the Sash and Rod of Rassilon? And why does he go mwahahahah to make sure Spandrel and Engin know about his evil survival, but not the Doctor? Jeez...


Master: Geoffrey Beevers
Last Seen: trapped in his TARDIS with a deranged android copy of himself
Next Seen: sans deranged android copy of himself
Explanation: Alan Barnes wrote it.


Master: Geoffrey Beevers
Last Seen: running away in the TARDIS
Next Seen: no better off
Explanation: given the suicidal stupidity of some Masters, at least this one was smart enough to leg it when Leela prepared to open a can of whupass...


Master: Geoffrey Beevers
Last Seen: about to be time-rammed by eight Doctors at once
Next Seen: alive
Explanation: well, the first Doctor found a way to reset history so the Master escaped. Had the other seven decided, they would have nuked the mother.

Master: William Squire/The Shadow
Last Seen: being blown up on his cave-filled space station
Next Seen: falling out of reality
Explanation: the novelization explains the Shadow was one of the Doctor's oldest enemies forged into another dimensional wraith by the Black Guardian so they could wait the thousands of years necessary to capture the Sixth Segment. The writers originally had him as the Master, and he is a skull-faced hypnotist out to cause chaos. Lance Parkin was convinced, anyway.


Master: Geoffrey Beevers
Last Seen: being electrocuted as the Source eats him alive and Melkur explodes
Next Seen: well enough to steal Tremas body
Explanation: none, especially as it's established the Source is powerful enough to trap the Master for twenty years despite having two TARDISes to hand.


Master: Anthony Ainley
Last Seen: escaping the Pharos Project in his TARDIS
Next Seen: kidnapping Adric, who he's barely met, and wiring him up to a home-build BTC-generator web in his own black Zero Room in the space of time it takes to regenerate.
Explanation: even with a time machine, that is fast!


Master: Anthony Ainley
Last Seen: deranged and being lynched by townsfolk before said town disintegrated
Next Seen: none the worse for wear - better actually
Explanation: presumably when Castrovalva broke up, the townsfolk did too and he was able to flee in his TARDIS which was ruined in the process. His nervous breakdown could have been down to the recursive occlusion or maybe pretending to be so bloody nice for five hundred years...

Master: Anthony Ainley
Last Seen: trying and failing to recreate his body out of the dimensional ruins of Castrovalva
Next Seen: having obviously succeeded
Explanation: actually, it does this for me. Thank you, Shitsu Tonka.


Master: Anthony Ainley
Last Seen: in an out-of-control TARDIS full of pissed-off Xeraphin
Next Seen: over it
Explanation: surprisingly, not even Craig Hinton explained that. It seems the godlike Xeraphin were quite happy to leave the Master alone and unsupervised on Xeraphas and even somehow got Kamelion to help him escape. Somehow.


Master: supposed be Anthony Ainley but clearly Roger Delgado
Last Seen: in an out-of-control plane full of androids flying into a time rift in the Bermuda Triangle
Next Seen: sans plane and androids (bar, maybe, Kamelion)
Explanation: no idea how to fit this into continuity without overwriting Time-Flight but is anyone really campaigning serial 6C? Either way, the Doctor knows the Master is quite capable of escaping the Bermuda Triangle as it was part of his original evil scheme to start with.


Master: Anthony Ainley
Last Seen: running away from a medieval castle once the Doctor exposes his villainy
Next Seen: doing the exact same damn thing, really
Explanation: it seems the Master's got obsessed with sweettalking his way into olde English kings as a personal advisor and then trying to corrupt history for no real reason. And if at first you don't succeed with King Arthur, do it with King John - and this time use a silver android that can't walk!


Master: Anthony Ainley
Last Seen: fleeing in a TCE-irradiated TARDIS
Next Seen: with a working TARDIS, unshrunk
Explanation: if we assume Planet of Fire is the Master's next story, where he's shrunk and needs remote controls to steer the TARDIS, there is no problem. It also backs up the theory at the time he let the Doctor steal Kamelion so there'd be a spy in his camp.

Master: Anthony Ainley
Last Seen: trapped in a collapsing, decompressing TARDIS about to be crushed/spaced/exploded
Next Seen: in something canonical
Explanation: in one of the many, many, MANY moments the author uses to tell us what utter shit Doctor Who is, it has both the Doctor and the Master assume he will survive this no matter how lethal it is, and no one gives a shit about the explanation. Worse, this is one of the more positive moments in the story.


Master: Anthony Ainley
Last Seen: banished from the Death Zone by Rassilon
Next Seen: shrunk
Explanation: arguably Rassilon was keeping the Master alive for the Time War, but the next story shows that maybe Flavia and the Time Lords actually did punish him.

Master: Geoffrey Beevers
Last Seen: stripped of Tremas's corpse by the Time Lords and left to rot, finally left at the Doctor's mercy
Next Seen: he's got Tremas' body back
Explanation: presumably the Doctor was such a softie he found a way to restore the Master back to life, which might also be why he decided to let the bastard burn the next time they met.


Master: Anthony Ainley
Last Seen: burning to nothing with the Doctor refusing to save him
Next Seen: fine and dandy
Explanation: "I'm indestructible, the whole universe knows that!" The easiest explanation is that he was at that moment time-scooped back to Gallifrey for The Five Doctors, which happens next in the Master's continuity. On the other hand...


Master: Anthony Ainley
Last Seen: being hog-tied to a velociraptor
Next Seen: teaming up with the Rani
Explanation: well, it turns out the Master was burned to a crisp in the previous story and he wears a rubber mask to look normal. During the course of the story, he bathes in the fountain of youth and is perfectly healed but this whole adventure is forgotten by the Doctor and Peri thanks to Viyrans.


Master: Anthony Ainley
Last Seen: laughing his ass off
Next Seen: as not a ghost
Explanation: the idea is the Master is actually psychically prank-calling the dying Doctor and trying to interfere with the regeneration process, but Kamelion's ghost defeats him at the last second (as he was the one who set up the relay allowing the Master to do this in the first place).


Master: Anthony Ainley
Last Seen: about to be either eaten by a T-Rex or kicked in the bollocks until dead by the Rani
Next Seen: solo, uneaten, with his codpiece uncompromised.
Explanation: word of god (or at least Pip-and-Jane) says that the T-Rex grew too big, snapped its neck on the console room ceiling and then ditched the Rani and stole most of her TARDIS. Had Yellow Fever And How To Cure It gone ahead, though...


Master: Anthony Ainley
Last Seen: vanishing in a home-made time machine which is then destroyed
Next Seen: marooned on a planet at the end of the universe
Explanation: actually, it fits together quite well. What's bizarre is the backstory, where the Doctor stole the Master's TARDIS and deliberately stranded him in 1990s England. And then was surprised that he got up to mischief. And the Time Lords, learning of the chaos the Master causes, sends the Doctor to fix it but neglects to mention that the Master might be involved. Morons.


Master: Anthony Ainley
Last Seen: being clubed to death, Rodney-King-style, but a bunch of angry space cultists he betrayed
Next Seen: in completely different circumstances and without mention
Explanation: rather disappointing, given that the stories were in the same annual by the same author. We can only assumed that when the Doctor and Peri left, the Master stopped pretending and slaughtered each and every one of those stupid pricks. As to how he gets off the planet, well...


Master: Anthony Ainley
Last Seen: trying to assassinate the Royal Family in the best spirit of Ben Elton
Next Seen: We'll never know.
Explanation: it seems the whole radio-controlled-public-assassins was just a trick to lure the Doctor and Peri into the Master's trap before he flung them out of reality, Sapphire-and-Steel-style, which curiously coincided with both the show and the annuals' cancellation.


Master: Anthony Ainley
Last Seen: trapped with Sabalom Glitz in limbo as the Matrix exploded
Next Seen: stroking his pussy
Explanation: according to Mission: Impractical, when the Time Lords released them, the Master did a runner. Which is as good an explanation as ever, I guess. The novelization of Survival has him caught by the Cheetahs while they were hunting through an asteroid belt while he was trying to spark a war.


Master: Anthony Ainley
Last Seen: being eaten by the Chronovores
Next Seen: pretending it never happened.
Explanation: Can't blame him.


Master: Anthony Ainley
Last Seen: absolutely insane on a planet that suddenly exploded
Next Seen: elsewhere and Cheetah-virus free
Explanation: the original script had him teleport back to Earth alongside the Doctor, the same twist was planned to open the very first New Adventure. The simplest explanation is that he teleported back to his own TARDIS in the asteroid belt he left it - but see First Frontier.


Master: Anthony Ainley
Last Seen: as a were-cheetah eating babies pretending to run a retirment home
Next Seen: no longer worried about the cheetah virus, it seems
Explanation: I assume it worked, eventually. Or something.


Master: Anthony Ainley
Last Seen: taking over a TV station with some brainwashed hyenas.
Next Seen: I've totally lost count.
Explanation: presumably he decided he was better than a Michael Grade metaphor and went to do something else, like get a slightly better bunch of DNA-obsessed aliens to grow him a new body in the New Adventures range.

Master: Anthony Ainley
Last Seen: being defeated by Adam fucking Mitchell
Next Seen: in the Determinant, judging by his fashion

Explanation: I dunno. Presumably the writers had some kind of blackmail that they could get it published.


Master: Anthony Ainley
Last Seen: being sucked into his private hell dimension with lots of monsters
Next Seen: being let out because the Doctor's a real softy
Explanation: Actually, I dunno if that's how the game ends. My version corrupted, but those are the video clips that get played eventually, so...


Master: Geoffrey Beevers
Last Seen: suffering a telekinetic bitchslap in an out of control TARDIS
Next Seen: somehow gets his Tremas body back...
Explanation: no idea. Absolutely no idea. Completely contradicts the next story, so we have to put it down to cracks in time or the Time War or Kroton rebooting the glory or...


Master: Anthony Ainley
Last Seen: being shot by Ace
Next Seen: regenerating into Basil Rathbone with a beard
Explanation: well, the Master apparently teleported to 1950s America and was still infected with the Cheetah Virus. He tricked the Tzun into giving him nanites that, when Ace shot him, triggered his transformation into a brand new Time Lord with a full set of regenerations


Master: Basil Rathbone with a beard
Last Seen: punking Sarah, K9 and Mike Yates and reenacting the Princess Bride swordfights
Next Seen: trying to ruin Benny's wedding
Explanation: turns out that Tzun DNA was shite and his new body was falling apart, so he goes to Cheldon Boniface to find a cure because the dormouse of Rassilon or something is buried there


Master: one on from Basil Rathbone with a beard
Last Seen: as the priest at Benny's wedding having a real strop about the panto elements of the plot
Next Seen: as Gordon Tipple
Explanation: the Master created a blob monster to fix him but all it did was make the Brigadier even more awesome. Possibly Gordon Tipple is this incarnation in the first place. It's not like anyone's got a good look at him, is it...


Master: Geoffrey Beevers
Last Seen: contemplating whether to turn evil or let his girlfriend die
Next Seen: in the TV Movie?
Explanation: well, a more direct ending was vetoed by lawyers. But given the whole thing is a story told by the Doctor about events that were reset more than once to someone who doesn't exist, the whole thing could be deemed uncanonical for all it matters. Notably, the Master's one scene has him ridicule the entire premise of the plot like Graham Chapman in Monty Python.


Master: Gordon Tipple
Last Seen: chained up in a crash helmet and then blown up
Next Seen: as a glob of snot/cgi cobra
Explanation: well, I've seen plenty but officially there's not much explanation. The Eight Doctors says the Master swallowed a morphant and then let the Daleks capture him in order to try and take over the Doctor's body, while The Fallen says the morphant is a completely different thing from Skaro the Master had access to, while Mastermind has the Master captured by the Daleks not on Skaro but the Valley of the Kings in the 1000BC The novelization says it's all a complete fluke and the Master had no plan. As if!
Master: Eric Roberts
Last Seen: being swallowed by the Eye of Harmony
Next Seen: alive
Explanation: the TARDIS kept the Master's consciousness alive for some reason (accounts differ).

Master: Brayshaw/Delgado/Ainley/Tipple
Last Seen: fitting into continuity
Next Seen: leaving, for some reason, a boobytrap that gives the Doctor amnesia instead of killing him.
Explanation: none whatsoever. And given the kicking Terrance Dicks delivers to the TV Movie on the first page, this is really rather hypocritical.

Master: some black guy, the "Preacher" incarnation
Last Seen: as a crazy man with scary eyes
Next Seen: the power behind the throne of the reforged human race
Explanation: well, after being flushed out of the TARDIS, an ancient multiversal alien found him in the vortex and mistook him for a warrior to fight for the Glory (ie, the god that runs all the multiverse). The Master's soul was poured into a dead black guy, but he found himself able to travel to any time or place as long as the TARDIS was there, as it had been infected by his goo. A whole issue of DWM was dedicated to explaining it, which is about as far from Saward's script-edits as you can get...

Master: some black guy, the "Preacher" incarnation
Last Seen: being scrubbed out of reality by Kroton's multiversal reboot
Next Seen: take your pick
Explanation: the Master swears he will survive in some form in the new universe. The Doctor agrees.

Master: Eric Roberts
Last Seen: as a spooky green glow freed from the Eye of Harmony
Next Seen: as Geoffrey Beevers
Explanation: see below.

Master: Geoffrey Beevers
Last Seen: fleeing with his TARDIS from the UNIT vault
Next Seen: not sure, to be honest.
Explanation: for some reason the ghost-like Master can take over any human host, but they quickly wither into a copy of his Melkur incarnation and not even the Master is sure why. He hops from body to body for a few centuries, only to be captured by UNIT, who have also collected his TARDIS. He steals it and sets off to do things, but it's not clear which, if any continuity is next.

Master: "the Man in the Rosette"
Last Seen: being too good to be at the Doctor's wedding
Next Seen: in an "unexpected capacity"
Explanation: given the book is an unreliable secondary historical document, I dunno why I'm wasting my time on it, really. The book sucks.

Master: Derek Jacobi
Last Seen: on a screen in a room the Doctor never goes except this one time
Next Seen: in Scream of the Shalka
Explanation: apparently it's just a residue of the Master in the TARDIS telepathic circuits; the real one legged it a long time ago. And Shalka's not canon. So, yeah.

Master: Alex McQueen
Last Seen: travelling back to Terserus to retry to take over reality
Next Seen: as the Time Lords' bitch in the Time War
Explanation: stated outright by the Master he was resurrected to fight the Time War, he immediately skipped work and tried to screw things up. However, eventually things got bad enough for him to join them in the effort against the Daleks and the Eminence - mainly so he could score moral points off the Doctor.

Master: Alex McQueen
Last Seen: kidnapping Molly to use as a weapon against the Eminence
Next Seen: using a kidnapped Molly as a weapon against the Eminence
Explanation: pretty straightforward, all told.

Master: Derek Jacobi
Last Seen: running from the Cruciform, and Rassilon wasn't impressed
Next Seen: opening a fob watch at the end of the universe
Explanation: yadda yadda chameleon arch yadda reverted to a human child in the Silver Devastation yadda yadda nicknamed "professor" yadda Malcasairo yadda Chantho yadda Futurekind yadda perception filter yadda regenerates into Lord Flashheart yadda...

Master: John Simm
Last Seen: killing a pal of Vivien Rook who's onto him
Next Seen: killing Vivien Rook who's onto him
Explanation: wow, NuWho really cares about this stuff! There's hardly any work to do!

Master: John Simm
Last Seen: ruling the Earth
Next Seen: still ruling the Earth
Explanation: wow, consistency!

Master: John Simm
Last Seen: setting fire to Japan.
Next Seen: getting even worse.
Explanation: none required. Despite only appearing for two pages in the whole book, he easily justifies his role as the biggest bad in NuWho.

Master: John Simm
Last Seen: bleeding to death from a gunshot wound, then being burned to ash
Next Seen: alive
Explanation: actually, a pretty decent one that - alas - should have got its own Doctor-lite episode than a single scene, which practically mugs the viewer. The Master invented a cult that would sacrifice itself to reincarnate his soul into a brand new Time Lord body in Harold Saxon's shape, because his political career required that face. They also kept Lucy alive and around because she bore his biometric imprint - or, as RTD explains, they shagged like bunnies on energy drinks and there was a veritable goldmine of DNA on her.

Master: John Simm
Last Seen: dissolving into a skeleton as he slaughtered Rassilon, before being sucked into Gallifrey minutes before it was due to be destroyed inside the Time Lock
Next Seen: as that crazy bitch from Green Wing
Explanation: well, given that the Doctors saved Gallifrey that's the hardest bit solved. The Time Lords en masse were far from behind Rassilon's ultracidal tendencies, so defeating him would have earned the Master some kudos, especially as by saving the Tenth Doctor he ensured the Eleventh would exist and work out how to save Gallifrey. Given he was indebted to the Doctor's mother, it's not hard to guess they used their Time Lord magics to heal the Master (which was why he agreed to bring them back in the first place) and in the process required a new body. So, the only question is why did he turn into a woman? Well, given the lack of the drums, the unofficial end of their conflict, it's quite possible the Master wanted to become a woman as part of a fresh start. Let us also remember the sheer amount of times women, usually the Doctor's companions, have kicked his arse. Indeed, given how broken the Master's body was, it's possible a gender-swap was needed to fix it. Either way, the Mistress then escaped Gallifrey during the siege of Trenzalore while the rest of the Time Lords waited for the all clear. Phew.

Master: Michelle Gomez
Last Seen: being vaporized by Cyber-Brigadier
Next Seen: still alive, as Moffat promises, and quite probably with the same face
Explanation: she's clearly anticipated something, given the way she moves specifically between those two graves. Plus, being shot by a Cyber weapon was a legitimate risk, and given she invented these Cybermen, it seems likely she has some back-door. In any case, the Nethersphere is still there - a Matrix segment which is designed to harvest dead minds, particularly Time Lord minds, and also has the ability to turn those dead minds into real living people again. In fact, this is the one time where you'd have to jump through hoops to leave her dead instead of the other way round...

And, last but not least...

Master: Sam Kisgart
Last Seen: shouting at David Tennant on the shores of Hong Kong as WW3 breaks out around them
Next Seen: hasn't been
Explanation: the Master here was exiled on Earth after his TARDIS was lost with Axos, and then spent thirty years as a communist defector Ke Le (Keller) using mind parasites for the Chinese Army. When the parasites stopped working, he went to find another parasite only to be killed in a plane crash and regenerate from Roger Delgado to Mark Gatiss. When the Chinese blew up all the mind parasites, the Ke Le divisions of suicidal brainwashed soldiers went insane and plunged Earth into chaos. It's never stated, but given the Doctor plans to return to Earth, it could be he went back and sorted it out. And given the Master wasn't actually in the line of fire, he could easily have escaped.

Master: Derek Jacobi
Last Seen: as a pouting android butler who has to put up with the REG Doctor
Next Seen: being switched off for being so bloody annoying in the only other Shalkaverse story
Explanation: top-secret behind-the-scenes material reveals that Gallifrey was destroyed, but the Doctor was able to upload the entire Time Lord race into the Matrix... except his wife, who proper died. Miserably, he uploaded the Master into an android body and kept him as a butler with a loose facemask who often drops into soup during dinner parties and, you know, they seriously thought this would be a good idea for a proper series of Doctor Who? Seriously?

Master: Jonathan Pryce
Last Seen: getting to second base with Joanna Lumbley's female Doctor
Next Seen: probably getting a whole lot further
Explanation: a good shagging'd probably do him the world of good. I mean, all it needs is one of them to become a woman and all is forgiven...

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