Sunday, June 2, 2013

God Dammit, Smithy!

This.


I'd normally do some jokes about the high concentration of Gatiss scripts had broken his resolve, but no, they're pretty decent this year.


Oh, I suppose I should have seen the signs. All that bollocks about the Fall of Eleventh, hacking off River Song like a diseased limb, the old standby of doing lots of flashbacks and multiple Doctor stories to remind us all that the latest Doctor is just that - the latest. And then Smithy goes and gets his head shaved, just to rub it in. But, and this is where you piss me off, you promised you'd be back next year! PROPERLY PROMISED! PRESS STATEMENTS AND EVERYTHING!


...and the next person to use the quot "rule 1 the Doctor lies" will win its lucky poster an all-expenses paid trip to an intensive care unit...

You realize this means my brilliant predictions are...


...yes, THREE YEARS OUT! THREE!!! It was too much to expect the bastard to match Tom Baker, even with these half-year seasons! YOU QUITTER SMITHY! NO FIST! YOU MAKE ME SICK! EARLY RETIREMENT IS NOT - FUCKING - COOL!

You realize the shit we're now going to be stuck with from nutters like Mad Larry, sparacus, Kyron Mallet, er... no, I think all the others are dead now, actually... but still! Those surviving brain donors of Eye of Horseshit want Billie Piper's boyfriend to be the Twelfth Doctor, and THEY DON'T EVEN LIKE BILLIE!


There should not be a black Doctor, just as there shouldn't be a female Doctor. The Doctor is a white English male and anything else would change the character and the ethos of the show too much. The character of the Doctor has always embodied a sense of eccentric Englishness. He has always been played by a white, male actor. Casting a black, asian or oriental actor would be rather akin to casting a black actor to play Henry VIII. Casting a woman would be even worse.
 
A woman? Absolutely not. Under no circumstances. No.
 
As I've said before, I think that Trevor Eve would make an excellent Doctor as he proved with 'Shoestring' that he can play an eccentric hero. If they want a younger actor then Ben Whishaw would be fine. Sir Ian McKellen would be superb as an older Doctor.
 
Trevor would turn the show around from this populist, 'race to the bottom' direction its been on since 2005 and give it real gravitas and serious intent. Doctor Who could be a great show that deals with serious historical and science-based issues within an entertaining framework. Trevor Eve is best remembered for his role as Eddie Shoestring, a character that was almost a rehearsal for the part of the Doctor. Eddie Shoestring & the Doctor have a lot in common : eccentricity, a passionate sense of justice and a very individual approach to life. I suggest that, together with Trevor's Doctor, a new showrunner be appointed.
 
True, Trevor has repeatedly stated in interviews how much he despises Doctor WHo, but he was making the valid point that populist shows such as Top Gear and the post 2005 Doctor Who get more resources and money thrown at them than quality or edgy drama shows. This is a completely valid point and he was not attacking Doctor Who itself, just its current direction. With Trevor Eve as the Doctor and a new showrunner we could see a real great era of Doctor Who.

- the Emperor, approximately 0.59 seconds after the news broke.
He has these things kept on standby, you know...

The same week that DW & Race has come out condemning the Peter Davison era as a war crime because the very concept of "cricket" is thunderingly racist, we're going to have more people demanding ethnic minorities play the Doctor rather say BECAUSE THEY CAN ACT!

WHAT THE HELL IS GOING ON?!? THE LAST THING I REMEMBER WAS SEEING THAT GODAWFUL LIGHT SHOW AT CIRCULAR QUAY! GAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHH!!!!

9 comments:

Persona Herein said...

I'd normally do some jokes about the high concentration of Gatiss scripts had broken his resolve, but no, they're pretty decent this year.


It's been all the other scripts that have been off, hasn't it? Even the Neil Gaiman wasn't as good as last year's.


Oh, I suppose I should have seen the signs. All that bollocks about the Fall of Eleventh, hacking off River Song like a diseased limb, the old standby of doing lots of flashbacks and multiple Doctor stories to remind us all that the latest Doctor is just that - the latest. And then Smithy goes and gets his head shaved, just to rub it in. But, and this is where you piss me off, you promised you'd be back next year! PROPERLY PROMISED! PRESS STATEMENTS AND EVERYTHING!

Stephen Moffat's having a bad effect on the poor kid. Come to think of it, Smith was more convincing than anyone else on the Production Team has been trying not to talk about things.

...and the next person to use the quot "rule 1 the Doctor lies" will win its lucky poster an all-expenses paid trip to an intensive care unit...

You realize this means my brilliant predictions are...


...yes, THREE YEARS OUT! THREE!!! It was too much to expect the bastard to match Tom Baker, even with these half-year seasons! YOU QUITTER SMITHY! NO FIST! YOU MAKE ME SICK! EARLY RETIREMENT IS NOT - FUCKING - COOL!

You realize the shit we're now going to be stuck with from nutters like Mad Larry,


Lawrence's last comment was to stick up a picture of his arse on his blog in response to "The Name of the Doctor". Considering how much of it was roundly ripped off from him (and Kate Orman, and Ben Aaronvitch, and however many others; you could probably make the NA callbacks into a drinking game), I can't say I was surprised.

Since then he has been roundly ignoring the existence of the show, which is unexpectedly mature of him.

sparacus, Kyron Mallet, er... no, I think all the others are dead now, actually... but still! Those surviving brain donors of Eye of Horseshit want Billie Piper's boyfriend to be the Twelfth Doctor, and THEY DON'T EVEN LIKE BILLIE!

The same week that DW & Race has come out condemning the Peter Davison era as a war crime because the very concept of "cricket" is thunderingly racist, we're going to have more people demanding ethnic minorities play the Doctor rather say BECAUSE THEY CAN ACT!

Why not get an ethnic actor who *can* act? It'd be different.
But I don't think Moffat would be capable or willing to do anything besides find another young white kid and stick him with the role. Which worked out great with Matt Smith, easily the single best thing about the show in the last four years, but does lightening strike twice?

Youth of Australia said...

Why not get an ethnic actor who *can* act? It'd be different.
I have no objections to that - but the blokes writing that book would seemingly prefer Rick James simply because of the colour of his skin. Which is racist.

As for your point, the quest is to find a replacement for Matt Smith, not David Tennant. Completely different lightning, completely different bottle.

Matthew Blanchette said...

Have you even read the book? It's been wildly misreported by the Mail, as seen here: http://www.philipsandifer.com/2013/05/shockingly-daily-mail-is-evil.html

Also, the one report that has him staying for Series 8... is the Sun. Which says it all, really: http://www.thesun.co.uk/sol/homepage/tvmagazine/tvmagazinefeatures/4930391/Time-to-say-goodbye.html

Youth of Australia said...

Course I haven't read the book! And I was responding to the local paper MX which is as different from the Daily Mail as cream to excrement. The fact is, even if Sandifer is right (well, he probably is) it HAS brought out lots of loonies agreeing with the sentiment, no matter if it's reported faithfully or not.

Honestly, Matthew, sometimes I don't think you appreciate just how much denial I live in. ;)

Miles Reid-Lobatto said...


Sparacus' argument has no feet. It'd be like a white actor playing Othello...

...ohwait...

Miles Reid-Lobatto said...


This is my two cents.

-I'm sad to see Matt Smith go, but I'd rather he go too soon than too late. As much as I like the Williams-era, Tom Baker stayed on a little too long and it shows at times. Matt Smith put so much energy into the character, I always felt the moment he starts to phone it in, it'll show.

At the end of the day, he's still only human and it's still just a job. I have nothing but the best to wish him.

-Also, I'd quite happily have an actor of different race or gender. As long as they were a good actor and they didn't make the sex change or the skin colour the whole of their character. That it'd piss off a lot of people who need pissing off is a wonderful, wonderful bonus.

Youth of Australia said...

My main issue is that I was psyched up for another Smith series since it appeared to have been confirmed. So I feel, rightly or wrongly, cheated. I know that Matt's been the Doctor from his POV since the start of 2009, but the Eleventh Doctor's been quite spartan in his appearances since. And, you know, I was hoping for a third era after the Pond and Oswald eras, you know?

The fact is that there are actually good in-universe reasons to keep the Doctor a white bloke.

I'll be happy for a "coloured gentleman" to take the role as long as they can act. But I doubt we'll get a woman as both Moff and RTD were quite clear that such a change would be a bridge too far.

They're more likely to kill the Doctor off for real and bring back Romana. I mean, do people slag off Daniel Craig because James Bond should be an albino quadraplegic vietnamese lesbian with learning difficulties?

No.

Jared "No Nickname" Hansen said...

I'd actually be slightly more okay with the Doctor becoming a woman than becoming black.

Yes, one is inherently more practical than the other (the difference between black and white skin is purely in melatonin levels and chemically the average regeneration must involve a hell of a lot more) and it's implicit canon that the Time Lords are heavily sexually dimoprhic...

BUT...

..you know those weird, awkward period movies involve black people? Where if it isn't a film that's ABOUT racism you either get a racism subplot that acts as a plot tumor or an awkward thing where they pretend it wouldn't have really been a factor and everyone watching gets pissed off?

Imagine THAT hanging over the show every time the Doctor goes back in time. Wow. I mean, hey, it might get us more alien planets.

As for Matt Smith leaving... I'm actually fairly annoyed. This is because, IMO, he had one good season and the next two have been rubbish.

I don't know, to me it feels Colin Baker to a lesser extent. Great Doctor, messy stories. I can't really complain, I guess, since I did get that one GREAT season...

...fuck I can complain, I'm an entitled guy on the internet!

But that said the fact scripts have been going downhill (apparently the BBC higher ups even have been unhappy with how this year has unfolded..) could well have been a factor in Smith leaving in the first place.

I guess I'm also annoyed because I thought the Doctor himself was the one thing that was in the 'Ain't broke - don't fix it' category..

Youth of Australia said...

I know what you mean but it occured to me that there hasn't been much race-related issues in Eleven's era. Even in the historicals.

Black folk are treated with respect in Vampires of Venice, Day of the Moon, Curse of the Black Spot, Hide... None of the issues poor Martha had to deal with.

Maybe it could be fun, with the black Twelfth Doctor striding out into a KKK conference assuring Clara, "Trust me, perception filter... works like a charm..."

As for the scripts, it's becoming clear that Moffat just can't hack the pace. His own stuff is fun, but he can't cope with being showrunner the way RTD could.

Given RTD was an obsessive workaholic with no social life and Moffat is a full-time family man with Sherlock to do as well, this is not any kind of a fault, I must stress. He's just the wrong guy for the job and - horrifying as it is - Mark Gatiss is probably better suited to run the show in that regard.

In every other regard, he's utterly wrong, even given his previous improvements.

I am actually really down about Smithy's departure, in a way I wasn't about Tennant's or even Eccleston's.

Maybe because Tennant had another half-season to go out on a high whereas all the evidence at the moment is Smith will be hastily written out at the end of a hastily written episode. Hastily.

(Beatles joke there, btw.)

And you're right, it IS like Colin Baker - he's been "the Doctor" for much longer than he was ever actually on screen.

Bummer. Total bummer.