As a blog owner myself, I know the frustrating feeling one has of weightless digitial real estate going to waste. The urge to blog can almost replace the need to think at times, and starting off a blog simply to slag off an individual (or an entire subcultural phenomenon like Ben Chatham) feels monumentally petty - especially if there's only one actual entry on the blog. This is why Noryk Ttellam, proud owner of Noryk's Blog of the Specifically Relevant - aka - the Maturity of Australia - has decided such burning originality cannot be allowed to stagnate. A mere five months after the first post, a new entry has been put up for the benefits of the world.
Tragically, however, it seems that Noryk's freedom of speech has been compromised by a nefarious and sinister force against which he is borderline powerless. What dark malevolence could possibly overshadow the power and the passion of an intellectual powerhouse like Noryk? I refer to this entity, for the terms of clarity, as the Wife of Noryk (cue thunder and lightning).
The Wife of Noryk was displeased with what it saw and ravaged the blog like Typhoid Mary on a double date with Charlie Sheen. Nothing was spared. Look at how Noryk's blogger prolife went from
43 years + 21 years of marriage + three degrees + 2 children = me.
The less you know the better...!
Oh, gentle kinsmen, if only it ended there!
The actual text of the mighty post The Generation X Manifesto (known in some uncouth circles as A Note to Baby Boomers, Generation Y and Generation I) was also corrupted to an unnaceptable degree! Like Stalin, Hilter and Murdoch, the foundations of human history are being turned into pro-regime propaganda at the whim of the unspeakable forces operating behind the scenes that not even Noryk can resist.
Take this example of his well-balanced and informative analysis of generational interrelationships:
You aren't our generation. I already had a degree and was fucking my wife everynight before any of you reached your teens.
In this papered-over, revisionist version?
And even Noryk's desperate morale-booster to those "unkindly referred to as Generation Z" is corrupted!
Don't worry guys, by the time you all finish growing up, the Boomers will be mostly all dribbling in a home and we will have things in good order. We'll take care of generation 'why' for you. Count on it.
This message of hope, glory and jingoistic self-aggrandisement is distorted to an unheard of degree!
Oh, the shame and ignomy, seeing a once-gigantic powerhouse of reason and passion reduced to a fawning troglodyte of cowardice and appeasement! I blame the wife! Never let your wife read what you blog to insult everyone you know - oh, how often have we made that mistake!
At least Noryk maintains his personal standard, smuggling out this nugget of wisdom for all those born between 1980 and 1995 (which, charmingly, includes his own children).
The new Doctor Who series was shit specifically because of you. It was thought that you did not have a sufficient attention span to handle both special effects and plot.
Noryk, we salute thee!