Sunday, December 13, 2009

Worst Fanfic Ever

You know it's bad when it makes you ashamed to be a fan.

Angry Jack by doctor-jack-ianto-owen

“Is that what you do Doctor pick us up then drop us?” Martha asked.

“Not if you’re blonde” Jack replied.

“Oh she was blonde, what a surprise!”

“Oi, Rose Tyler is the most amazing person in the universe, sorry every universe, amazing pretty, smart, she stood in a Dalek ship and didn’t seem ask scared as most people would, she held on to a Barged balloon to try to save a kid, she walked towards a Slitheen no hesitation, she was grabbed being strangled by a Slitheen, and stood there waiting for the Doctor to tell her what to do, before I met her, she told me story’s, she was in a room, slitheen outside the room, there was a way to get out but she didn’t know how but she told the Doctor to do it, ‘it could kill you but who cares do it’ was her motto, she stood a dalek coming towards her and stood there didn’t try to duck or run, she took it the Vortex to come back to save me and the Doctor, so don’t you dare say that like that, Rose, she stayed with the Doctor after he regenerated, she would have died her hair, it does matter because of the colour of you hair, she was amazing!”

Martha Just looked at Jack, they had stopped the Doctor looked behind, “Why did she leave?”

“She’s stuck, she tried to stay, leave her family for me, but the universe took her away, we got to say bye, she told me she love’s me, I said, Quite right too…And I suppose if it’s my last chance to say it…Rose Tyler…” then the universe didn’t let me finish, didn’t let me tell her how I felt about her”

“I’m sorry” Jack said, “I went back to her estate in the 90’s, never said hello timelines and all that, but she was amazing as a kid, she was meant to travel with you she was helping people from a young age, once I saw her in her school, a little boy was getting beaten up by older kids, Rose walked over, no hesitation and pulled them off the boy helped the boy up and took him to the teacher without a word”

“I’m sorry, I didn’t know how much you both cared for her”

“More then anyone in any universe” Jack and the Doctor said in unison.

Christ in a blender. Just goes to show, even after the final dissillusionment of Spara, there are still people trying to match his ineptitude.

In nicer news, here's a cover I mocked up for my impending audio extravaganza...

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