Friday, June 6, 2008

Gabriel Chase Updates!

The nutter is back again, and has completely altered everything but the first paragraph of Parallel Universes...

Playing the part of a newly-regenerated Doctor in the first series was Christopher Eccleston, but when Eccleston resigned to "avoid being typecast",
Why the quotes GC? Don't you believe it? If so, why put it there, especially as CE insists that isn't the case (OK, he refuses to say what the case IS, but still...)

David Tennant was drafted to replace him in a hurridly rewritten series finale.

The first in what turned out to be a rotating entourage of companions was shopgirl Rose Tyler, played by former pop-starlet and current gossip column favourite Billie Piper. Piper lasted two series but was brought back for an episode in series 4.
Five episodes, actually, but why let facts get in the way? Why the bitching about recurring characters? You big up Colin Baker for that... no, wait, that's Ron Mallett. I'm getting my fan maniacs mixed up again...

Taking over the reins temporarily in the 2006 Christmas special was the media-trendies' favourite BBC comedienne Catherine Tate as Donna Noble, who returned as a full-time companion in series 4, whilst series 3 was the preserve of medical student Martha Jones, played by Freema Agyeman, who also made a one-off return in series 4.
Four returns, actually... plus Torchwood... and just how long are you going to keep using "media trendies" as an all purpose insult?

A second companion was introduced part-way through series 1, the ebullient Captain Jack Harkness played by John Barrowman, who was quickly made the central character in the first of two spin-offs from the new series, Torchwood, whilst pint-sized Australian pop superstar Kylie Minogue made a brief return to acting as the Doctor's one-off accomplice in the 2007 Christmas extravaganza.
Accomplice? You didn't like Voyage of the Damned then.

You haven't bitched about Adam Mitchell, though... Still, you got Jack's name right this time.

In addition, the rather annoying habit modern TV writers have of involving members of regular characters' families, which had threatened the credibility of several other long-running TV drama serials in the previous ten years or so,
Name them, motherfucker.

saw regular appearances for Rose Tyler's mother and boyfriend during the first two series
See? Regular. Not "every episode". Is GC reading this blog?

and Martha Jones' parents in Series 3.
You still haven't actually WATCHED it, have you? Tish and Leo don't merit mentions do they?

Like its American predecessor, the BBC Wales series was caught in two minds over whether it was an entirely new show or a revival of an old one.
You hate it either way! You bag Big Finish for being too old-fashioned and slag off the New Series of being radical!

The TV listings guides, for example, referred to the first series as Series 1, not Series 27.
Because TV listings are the be all and end all of editorial decisions. And it's SEASON, bitch!

Yet Davies and his writing team couldn't resist reviving various aspects of the original series.
They managed to avoid saying "Gallifrey" and "Skaro" for two years... and still haven't brought back the Brigadier. Resistance is not useless, dweeb.

The Daleks were an obvious choice for revival, making appearances in all four series,

whilst the Cybermen popped up in Series 2 and 4,

the Master (played by a John Simm fresh from the triumph of Life On Mars) provided a climactic finale to Series 3,
No digs at the lack of beard or Derek Jacobi? You gutless tool.

and the Sontarans returned for Series 4. Series 2 also witnessed the revival of the character of Sarah-Jane Smith, played as ever by Elisabeth Sladen (probably one of the greatest victims of typecasting ever!),
Yeah. You don't know what "typecasting" means, do you? She's playing the SAME character. Not an identical character. Or her career being an endless stream of SJ-wannabes.

accompanied by K9, voiced as ever by John Leeson.
No typecasting THERE, then...

As with Captain Jack, Sarah and K9 soon became central to the second spin-off series, The Sarah Jane Adventures appearing in 2007 (over a quarter of a century after the original K9 and Company pilot!).
Except K9's overall appearance consisted of one minute of screentime, as he has his own spinoff.

More than anything though, the new version of Doctor Who was just part of a vast multi-media marketing exercise involving spin-off shows, magazines, toys and DVDs.
Not like the good old days in the sixties where it was part of a vast multi-media marketing exercise invovling failed Dalek spin off shows, magazines, annuals, toys, novelizations, tie-in-shows and record tracks.

Wait a minute...

The TV series itself, more a spun-off supplement to the series of original novels BBC Books had inherited from Virgin Publishing than a stand-alone continuation of the original series, was marketed aggressively, the initial screening on BBC1 being followed by two on BBC3, before being passed on to the BBC part-owned UKTV Gold satellite/cable channel and made available to the general public on BBC-produced DVDs.
Yes! How dare they let people watch it easily! It should have been put up against the news on Sunday mornings and ignored by everyone! DON'T THEY KNOW YOU HAVE A DEFINITIVE WEBSITE TO HOST?!?

In addition to that, there were the two spin-off drama serials and not one but two behind-the-scenes quasi-documentary serials.
Oh, GOD!!! That ruins everything! There's more than one show! Make it stop! MAKE IT STOP!

Meanwhile, Marvel Comic's long-running Doctor Who Magazine was quickly replaced by a new periodical published by the BBC,
Uh... no. It wasn't. It's still there. You idiot.

whilst toyshops up-and-down the country were soon stockpiling model Daleks, Cybermen and Tardises manufactured under BBC franchises.
And they actually seem professional, unlike ze good old days where anything could be sold as long as something vaguely Dalek-shaped was stenciled on it...

With the show forced to take time-out in 2009 to allow David Tennant to appear in a theatrical run of Macbeth,

and with Davies handing over as Executive Producer to Steven Moffatt, it remains to be seen how much longer this vastly different version of Who will last.
Well, I'm feeling pessimistic, so I'll say 2011. Got an answer for THAT, shitforbrains?

Oh, wait, he's adapted his critique of The Infinite Quest (but not Time Crash, the only part of the new series he's actually bothered to watch...)

One of several proposals put forward for continuing the original TV series was as an animated cartoon series, in much the same way Star Trek had been briefly revived in the mid-1970s.
Which, of course, renders it derivative and pointless. Because Star Trek was also a cartoon.

However, like all the others, this idea came to nothing.
And thus Gabriel Chase didn't have to deal with it. Good times.

Seventeen years later, with the BBC squeezing every last drop out of the Welsh series, including a post screening "How It Was Made" Doctor Who Confidential screened on BBC3 (how on Earth did we ever manage to enjoy TV in the 20th Century without knowing every detail of how our favourite shows were made?)
Well, you're so out of touch with modern society, I won't bother to explain. Since you don't watch it anyway, what's the problem?

and a series for children, Totally Doctor Who,

an animated story was not so quickly dismissed. Produced in twelve original episodes averaging 3½ minutes each (hardly a Disney epic!)
It was short? IT MUST BE SHITHOUSE! Uh, where exactly did it say it WAS a Disney epic, thirsty merc?

with a thirteenth tagged on to the end of an omnibus edition, and shown as part of Totally Doctor Who, The Infinite Quest was a fast paced adventure story featuring Tennant's Doctor and Martha Jones searching for hidden datachips with which to unlock The Infinite - a spaceship which could grant people their dearest wishes, whilst all the while evading the clutches of the evil Baltazar. Older fans would no doubt spot a resemblance to the plot of The Keys of Marinus and the "Key to Time" series.
And Lord of the Rings. But, you know, only freaks compare Doctor Who to anything but itself...

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