No Fist!

Tonight's episode of Double The Fist was without doubt the weakest and most pathetic episode that this fine show has ever hurled directly at the unprotected faces of its spineless audience. The fact the end credits tried to sneak out three minutes into the plot rather at the end of the episode itself per se showed that even this non-corporeal editing was sicked and ashamed by the poor quality of this irredeemably wretched experience.

There is not a single part of this episode that does not supurate with weakness of the first order. This episode of DTF was not focussed on betterment through extremity, or improving the fistworthiness of ordinary Australians. It was about selling furniture. Ooh, deep! To see Steve Foxx reduced to a cheese-eating surrender monkey in a tuxedo backing down from every single bit of opposition and steadfastly refusing to get involved in the mission turned my stomach. If there wasn't such a thing as hatred, I'd have nothing but pity for this one-fine figure reduced to a useless, subhuman no fist loser who is not prepared to deal with those full-fisted enough to disrespect his puny excuse for authority.

If the weak dog in charge of this mess was SO fussed about selling furniture, maybe he could have got off his pampered ass for five minutes, gone to Thailand and sorted it all out, but Steve "No Longer Worthy of My Love" Foxx needed some corrupt and fragile pro-wrestler named after a one-eyed army recruitment officer from Nordic legend to do his job for him. Foxxy was far too busy prostituting himself to a bunch of stuffed shirts unable and unwilling to get out of their non-decapitating chairs and waving fake money... which Foxx accepted.

STEVE FOXX, YOU MAKE ME SICK!!!

This episode was a waste of time with its devotion to such pathetic concepts as character development. Mephisto, who two weeks ago cut off the face of his own school friend as a sign of his absolute dedication to the eradication of weakness, now has a panic attack and blubbers on youtube. A man quite willing to stab his co-contestants through the spine with a knife simply snivelled at Foxx (you don't deserve the name Steve, you weak, spineless dog) as his retarded, useless and impotent yes impotent brother was unable to even use mindless nepotism to get "Man of Fist".

What's more, with Womp, Mephisto, Rod, Tara, Panda and Mime Boy having been insulted and tormented by Foxx in this episode, I consider it the hieght of weakness that they let this fat, balding has-been get away with deciding who should be involved. Foxx has lost the very quality that made us want to watch his revoltingly ugly and inherently worthless exploits in the first place, and all that is left is an overweight yuppie bullying his trusted viewers into buying dodgy products.

If I were to WANT to watch a series of pointless, ill-thought out mission of random half-scary child nightmares experienced by a gang of intellectually subnormal backstabbing emotional cripples ruled by a pathetic killjoy with delusions of even vague competence while acting like a complete arsehole to everyone he meets, then I will simply put on a VHS of Torchwood.

ABC - DON'T EVER SHOW THIS EPISODE AGAIN!

PS: if Steve shows this retarded, backward-looking weakness next week and is unchalenged, I will be forced to firebomb Prawn World and no cartoon-fantasy-land "death doesn't last for a scene" magic will be able to save these losers. Alan Rickman and his terrorists have proved their double-fistedness UNAPPOSED!

GAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH!