With the apocalypse on hold till next Christmas so it appears, it's time to get back to marvelling at the audio adaptation of my magnum opus, my greatest triumph... Doctor Who & The Aquamarine Light of DEATH Whose Particular Shade I Cannot Spell For Love Nor Money!
Well, we could call it Beyond the Sun if anyone's fussed...
0:12 - Aw, Murray Gold drowned out my amusing catchphrases. Though, arguably, any sane member of the audience would be sick to death of it by now.
0:34 - "The spectrum is rather gentle." Is that meaningless technobabble? I'm honestly not sure. Oh well. What are script editors for? Only Lawrence Miles and Tat Wood ever slagged Rob Holmes off for his atrocious grasp of astrophysics...
1:44 - Maybe I'm just demented, but it feels like one of those bits in The Young Ones where the cast acknowledge a band has just appeared in their living room and then awkwardly gets on with the plot. "Yes, thank you, lovely theme music, Delia would be proud, but we are a tad busy here..."
1:45 - Actually now I think about it, I didn't have any pre-credit sequences. I just had normal, old-fashioned cliffhanger reprises so there would have been no gap between the blue light and the unfolding wierdness.
1:53 - Amy Pond music. This is not what I was aiming for. Still, maybe the audience need a break from the relentless horror. Full props for Mr. Ault again though, getting the Doctor's racing brain despite his agony.
3:03 - Um. Maurice sounds very angry. Bernard Black angry. Please do not annoy him any further, Doctor...
3:33 - Mmm. I never noticed I have everyone shouting "priority command" at the computer. No wonder it ignores them, they just think everything's an emergency...
3:42 - So he's using Troughton's sonic screwdriver? Um. Ok.
4:02 - Woohoo! "What's a deadlock?" A bit of postmodern RTD-era satire for blogreaders, there...
4:30 - Heh. Not as funny as Closing Time, alas.
4:49 - See how I groom Maurice as a new companion over the wearying hormonal harridan (who has been made 1000 times more bearable by the talented actress playing her, I stress).
5:00 - "Cromer?" I did that gag? Fuck I am so ashamed...
5:36 - Ah. Alexis is back, with his "Chip Jameison IS the Cookie Monster" performance. I'm sure you're a lovely bloke, but was it too much to expect the line "shut up" to be non-cringe-inducing?
5:53 - As for Vlyn, I can't criticize the acting but the choice of delivery is a bit odd. It sounds like she's trying to seduce Emma than grimly assessing the situation and giving orders. Still, considering her crew consist of The Youth of Australia expys, flirting like mad could be the only way to get through to them.
5:56 - AKA Nigel Verkoff is perfect, though. Brilliant comic delivery.
6:15 - His acting may be awful, Emma, but let Alexis finish his lines at least! It's only polite...
6:28 - Wow. Impressive, convincing-sounding hysteria from Miss Emma Actress. YOU SEE? THIS IS WHAT I WANTED FROM THE REST OF YOU IN PART TWO!!! Your friends are dead and you treat like the "we can tell your mum we ate it" bit from American Pie. And I promise not to mention that particular franchise in relation to my work again.
6:48 - "Dead... BOTH OF THEM!!!!" You gotta laugh, huh?
6:59 - OK, Emma, I agree. He's not funny in long doses.
7:14 - "Unlucky you." HAH! Thank you, Nigel.
7:41 - Why did I give this bastard so much dialogue? WHY?!?
7:46 - She means "launch". Not "lunch" as it sounds. No wonder Nigel was confused.
8:10 - Maybe if we say in a later episode Alexis is an Ogron on work experience? That could work.
9:00 - Ooh, self-script-editing becoming a tad obvious, huh?
9:20 - This amazing vista is all done from Captain Goodvibes comics, surreal, beautiful and more cynical than the Chaser at a funeral...
9:34 - "We're not in Kansas any more." "We weren't to start with!" Huh hah!
10:34 - Hmm. OK. I was thinking more of Legion from Red Dwarf, but I can't really complain. The "upper class twit of the year" version adds character. I suppose.
12:03 - That's a Ninja Turtle homage. I bet you all medically needed to know it.
12:28 - Heh. Nice. Oh no, more Alexis...
13:13 - Oh thank god Macdon's here! Talk a lot, man, as much as you want! SAVE US FROM THE BAD MAN!
13:43 - Ah. Actors performing my shining wit. I am so smug now it stings.
14:18 - God damn, why do I make the ladies in my story suffer so? IT'LL ALL BE BETTER, EMS, I PROMISE!! Hmm, maybe it's just the women are all better actors when it comes to expressing emotion...
15:32 - Must not get drawn into the plot... must make notes...
15:46 - I suppose my love of Blake's 7 and its terminology comes across in this script, but now it's getting very obvious... Oh, who cares. I'll take Chris Boucher over Chris Lilley any lifetime. Though calling someone "child" was a wierd bit of slang from The Mark of Mandragora which, despite all my best efforts, never took off back in the late 1990s.
16:09 - "I'm not trying to be insensitive but... GET OVER IT ALREADY!!" I really shouldn't laugh as much at my own jokes. Maybe it's the delivery.
17:00 - Oh crap. After a huge gag that no one knows what a deadlock seal is, the Captain makes a big deal about using them. See what happens when your script editor is an angsty poseur with a superiority complex (or to put it another way: "me")? Oh well, let's just say Maurice was still dazed from the transfer and unable to keep up with the Doctor. Yeah. That'll work. *facepalm*
17:27 - I won't complain about mispronouncing "magellanic" as it's a grand B7 tradition to be totally confused about it. And, you know, it's Nigel. He can't pronounce "vengeance" properly. It's characterization, damn thee!
18:21 - "I know you're scared." Heh. What gave it away? It's like the Paul Darrow reportoire company, everyone's so deadpan...
18:54 - I must have reused that gag in the script. My bad.
19:10 - She said "down and safe!" You never get that in ANY Blake's 7 audios, you notice? NOT ONE! Well, now, justice has ARRIVED!
19:50 - She's back! And sounding cuter than ever!
20:21 - A very fine edit, as requested. I should have pointed out that "Dio" was to be pronounces "Dye-oh", as in "Diogenes". It sounds like the Doctor's talking Mexican all of a sudden. Oh well.
21:37 - Have I not made it absolutely clear how awesome the star of this show is? Because, we're talking very impressive. As audio Doctors go, he is without better than almost everyone I can think of - though JK Flynn is a distinct rival. Briggsy sounds so fannish in comparison to this dude who just screams "proper actor". Mr. Ault would be worthy of the TV show in my unworthy opinion, and I thank the divine stars that the people who made my audio would get such talent.
(Can I have my cash now, please, Dave?)
22:46 - If you can spot the gags from Bottom 3: Hooligan's Island, you're even sadder than I am. But props for effort.
23:09 - Ooooooooooooooooooooookaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay.
23:56 - That's Magda Szubanski with a phoney American accent, surely? I mean, I can see her right out of The D-Generation as an Oprah-style American host in a blonde wig, a refusal to blink and doing things like "I'm just going to reach out. And touch you. On the leg. In a rather patronizing. Manner." (Which, while not in any way how I saw the character, works PERFECTLY.)
23:58 - I had a good reason for naming a species of closeted snobby degenerates who think the universe owes them a living and have absolutely nothing to do with Doctor Who continuity "the Chatham". But I can't for the life of me remember what it was.
24:17 - The Chatham on why everyone hates them: "They fear our beauty." I giggle in a very immature manner for the rest of the episode.
25:20 - Nice acting from Ault there. Subtly different. Course, the excellent characterization helps as well.
25:32 - That was funny on paper. I swear.
26:59 - That was funny off paper as well.
27:58 - I should get this guy to perform Verkoff: A Terrible Ego. He really inhabits the role of Nigel in a way that makes me fear for his sanity.
28:12 - Mein gott! Palleen is Quinn Morgendorffer from Daria! FREAKING AWESOME!!
28:42 - "Alexis is an albino." "...that's nice." ROFTL.
29:29 - Damn but this girl has good comic timing. I mean, she tells punchlines better than I wrote them! Give her her own sitcom, somebody!
29:54 - Yes, the Corruptors sound very scary. I've said it before. It is still true.
30:08 - A rather good cliffhanger. I didn't actually mean for it to be a cliffhanger, I was trying to do the whole "drammatic W" that Dennis Spooner pioneered, so the tension cranks up on either cliffhanger and halfway through. Pure coincidence.
30:11 - And I never get tired of that bit.
30:25 - Does the announcer always have this godlike echo to his words?
30:50 - My parents will be amused to learn the decietful, spiteful evil bitch in the story is named "Amber". Coz they know someone like that. If you get my drift.
Well, that kept up the quality of the previous installments COUGHbarAlexisCOUGH!! and I must awkwardly warn people there will be an above-average exposition in the next episode (which was not meant to be an episode on its own). Please grin and bear it, and hopefully the cast will make the jokes work enough to keep you going to next and EVEN MORE EPIC cliffhanger.
Next time, people... NEXT TIME!
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4 comments:
Woo, I listened to this yesterday (well... mostly) and was waiting to see your little review-thingy go up. It's really good. I have to say I didn't catch the alien name the first time around, so I didn't realise they were the Chay-theem. Makes a bit more sense, but I might just be distracted by the allegory from this point on...
I won't complain about mispronouncing "magellanic" as it's a grand B7 tradition to be totally confused about it.
...I actually thought that was how it was pronounced.
And, speaking of B7, pales compares to Roj being amazed at Cally's 'power of telly-kinny-siss'...
But yeah, only reason I didn't listen to the whole thing is that there must have been an error with my download. The episode cut off suddenly after Palleem bragged about being Lexis and Eljay in strip poker so I thought Miles had adopted a real "ABC's version of Two Doctors" approach to the cliffhangers for a moment...
I'm really loving it - it's held my interest more than any of the BFs I've listened to lately and the cast is generally strong. Yes, Alexis isn't great but I think he's balanced out by the strength of Gelvar myself...
Roll on episode 4!
Woo, I listened to this yesterday (well... mostly) and was waiting to see your little review-thingy go up.
Yeah, took me a while since I've been a bit down this week.
Makes a bit more sense, but I might just be distracted by the allegory from this point on...
I'll be honest, I changed the name out of pure spite. The original version with 9/Rose/Jack had them as the Gelth (or rather, the aliens who PRETENDED to be Gelth in Unquiet Dead)
...I actually thought that was how it was pronounced.
Is it? I always thought it was how Garron pronounced it in Ribos Operation - "MAG-GAH-LEN-IK".
And, speaking of B7, pales compares to Roj being amazed at Cally's 'power of telly-kinny-siss'...
It's "eether" or "eyether" I guess.
But yeah, only reason I didn't listen to the whole thing is that there must have been an error with my download. The episode cut off suddenly after Palleem bragged about being Lexis and Eljay in strip poker so I thought Miles had adopted a real "ABC's version of Two Doctors" approach to the cliffhangers for a moment...
Yeah, I was worried about that but by a miracle there are cliffhanger-worthy moments every thirty minutes or so.
I'm really loving it - it's held my interest more than any of the BFs I've listened to lately
I wish I could pull out a kind of "Oh, but you ain't heard X yet!!", but to be honest nothing since Death in the Family has been above "tolerable mediocre" for me.
(Though The Elite will be worth your time. The lady who does Enlightenment does a Dalek story with 5/Nyssa/Tegan, quite possibly a Dalek story you might like. Pity they made shite like Arc of Infinity instead of this when it available at the time...)
Though they gave a new theme tune to the Eighth Doctor - bit more like the TV Movie instead of the "what's this button do?" remix.
Yes, Alexis isn't great but I think he's balanced out by the strength of Gelvar myself...
I hate to be all sychophantic, but the cast is SO MUCH BETTER than I was expecting. And I'd heard earlier ones and knew they don't employ hacks (Alexis must be there to prevent workforce discrimination), but compare to the best efforts of BBC Wales for Night Terrors and it's comparing cream to excrement...
Roll on episode 4!
Hopefully it'll all be over by Christmas.
Yeah, took me a while since I've been a bit down this week.
Oh sorry to hear that. I've been sick myself, and adapting to working every weekend.
I'll be honest, I changed the name out of pure spite. The original version with 9/Rose/Jack had them as the Gelth (or rather, the aliens who PRETENDED to be Gelth in Unquiet Dead)
Ah okay. That makes sense. I did crack up at David Auldt's "Oooookay..." response to the "They feared our beauty" line.
Did Jack get up to a lot in the original story? Was he there in place of Maurice? Just curious, becuase I know it varies how much a companion gets to do in a given story..
Is it? I always thought it was how Garron pronounced it in Ribos Operation - "MAG-GAH-LEN-IK".
They're named after Magellan the Portuguese explorer so I always assumed they used a soft 'g' myself. I could be wrong, though, it's not something I hear pronounced very often...
Though The Elite will be worth your time. The lady who does Enlightenment does a Dalek story with 5/Nyssa/Tegan, quite possibly a Dalek story you might like. Pity they made shite like Arc of Infinity instead of this when it available at the time...)
Ooh, Barbara Clegg! She did write a great story. I don't suppose BF have talked to Andrew Smith at all? Yeah, he's probably busy being a cop now... but still, considering the trouble Saward's predecessors had recruiting new talent to write for them it really does feel like he pissed over the new talent he had coming in. I was amazed by your stories of all the pitches by Clegg and Smith he turned down.
Which, in itself, wouldn't be too bad. If he wasn't commissioning ambulance drivers who never wrote anything before pitching him plots ripped off old UFO episodes! COME ON!
Hopefully it'll all be over by Christmas.
That quick? Nice.
Oh sorry to hear that. I've been sick myself, and adapting to working every weekend.
Centrelink decided to shove me into a ten day retail course with mandatory work placement. Despite my antisocial tendencies, grotesque ugliness, irrelevent skills and the fact I DO NOT DO RETAIL. I mean, I'm not a snob, I'd be happy working in some corner shop or something but... KPIs? Comissions? Sales targets?
THIS I DO NOT LIKE!
Ah okay. That makes sense. I did crack up at David Auldt's "Oooookay..." response to the "They feared our beauty" line.
I was a bit worried the gag wasn't audible enough.
Did Jack get up to a lot in the original story? Was he there in place of Maurice? Just curious, becuase I know it varies how much a companion gets to do in a given story..
Um, yes. Pretty much. I didn't like how they went from head-butting alpha males to suddenly the best of friends (even with all the missing adventures), so it was a big thing about them learning to get along - there was a lot of Jack dissing the TARDIS for being shit, a big bit in part one had Jack get into the Phoenix ahead of the others and HE was the one who rescued them with a "might I have this dance?" gag. There was also a lot of stuff about how the Doctor and Jack set up their quasi-military relationship, lots of "don't call me sir" stuff.
Course, killing off Jack would have been really interesting at the time - no one knew he was immortal post POTW, and Rose's reaction to his death would have made her had to deal with how she feels about Mickey and she shouldn't wander around like a cat on heat... though looking back that was only in Moffat's eps...
Ooh, Barbara Clegg! She did write a great story. I don't suppose BF have talked to Andrew Smith at all?
They have indeed, my friend, and are doing his unmade scripts (not a 100% sure if they're doing The First Sontarans, but it's def been mentioned.)
Yeah, he's probably busy being a cop now...
AFAICT, he bumped into some BF dudes at the DW exhibition and he's quite happy to write for them. Since Eric Saward isn't present - seriously, he was a real pricktease, basically going "yeah, sure, this is good, write more" while never reading a page.
I was amazed by your stories of all the pitches by Clegg and Smith he turned down.
Well, there are only two Clegg stories left undone (and to be honest, they're not exactly amazing...).
Which, in itself, wouldn't be too bad. If he wasn't commissioning ambulance drivers who never wrote anything before pitching him plots ripped off old UFO episodes! COME ON!
Fandom still boggles at him turning down Gallagher's Nightmare Country for being "too expensive" when it would probably have been cheaper than The Space Museum to make... I mean serious, the TARDIS set, a graveyard set and some monster outfits. That was it. The rest was all characterization and drama. But instead they wanted to make Resurrection of the Daleks instead.
That quick? Nice.
Everything's been recorded and mostly edited, I understand. Just needs the last fiddly bits and they are done.
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