Wasn't I Rewriting Stuff?

Why, yes I was! How observants of you! Are you stalking me or something? Oh well, in any case, the Great Work of Rewriting Crap Doctor Who Stories has wound down a bit. Still, finished The War Machines, Resurrection of the Daleks, The Twin Dilemma and Revelation of the Daleks. Plus my "original" (stop sniggering you bastards) work The Enemy Within. Yes, I wrote it before I saw series three. I started before series two was finished. If anyone's nicked anything it's RTD. Anyway, what about the rest? Well, Miles has drifted off, Cameron's not done much and Jared's still producing solid gold I can't be bothered to upload. But what of me? Have I done a damn thing? Well, since you asked so nicely...

ONLY A MATTER OF TIME...

1. MODEL SHOT

Nebula. Magellanic clouds. Planets. We fade from one shot to another, clearly moving through space, looking for something. Zooming step by step through the galaxy to focus on a familiar blue-green planet. Eerie, distant music.

DOCTOR (VO)
Things change. People are born, and people die. At any given point in time and space, untold billions are unborn or long dead. Events are forgotten or haven’t happened yet. Planets come and go. Stars perish.

Our view of the planet alters, so it becomes silhouetted against the sun which glows brighter and brighter, until there is nothing but scorching whiteness. This happens silently.


2. EXT. JYENRA (DAY)

The whiteness dims to a pleasant orange. We are looking at the sky just before sunset.

DOCTOR (VO)
Matter disperses, coalesces, forms into other patterns...

We pan downwards. We see a golden obelisk against the sky, pulling outwards to see it is a large memorial in the middle of a grassy cenotaph. We see we are in the heart of a neat town quite like one in England in the 1980s. There are terraced houses converted into shops, power lines, traffic lights. A few tall office blocks can be spotted, along with factories and churches.

DOCTOR (VO)
Other worlds.

We pan around the city. There is no traffic, but a few parked cars. No pedestrians. The only noise is birdsong and the wind in the trees. The only thing missing is people.

DOCTOR
Everything has its time and everything dies. Nothing can be eternal. Nothing that matters at any rate. The universe unfolds as it should. All I have learnt about this I can summarize easily: life goes on...

We are now focussed on a notice board. In metallic writing it says

CITY STATE JYENRA
POPULATION 525, 800 CITIZENS
ALL ARE WELCOME

DOCTOR (VO)
Whether you like it or not.

We fade up a caption: INTO THE FIRE... as the TARDIS materializes in front of the sign. The sounds of its engines startle some of the birds nearby, but there is no other reaction. After a moment, the door clicks open and THE DOCTOR sticks his head out. He looks around suspiciously, stepping from the TARDIS.

DOCTOR
The trouble is, the only certainty with luck is that it changes.

He moves away. PERI stands in the doorway.

PERI
This isn’t Pasadena!

He continues to look around, his voice patient.

DOCTOR
No, Peri, it’s not Pasadena.

PERI
We’ve gone off course again. Do you want me to try this time?

DOCTOR
There’s little point in that, Peri, until we know where we’ve started from.

PERI
It’s just England.

DOCTOR
This isn’t England.

PERI
Yes it is. Look around. It's just not raining for once.

DOCTOR
Oh, I suppose we’ve fetched up in Manchester 1985, have we?

PERI
You’ve been here more often then I have.

DOCTOR
Yes. I have. Doesn’t this strike you as wrong?

Peri steps from the TARDIS, pulling the door closed behind her.

PERI
Not particularly. Isn’t it always like this on Sundays?

The Doctor frowns, baffled.

DOCTOR
Sunday?

PERI
Yeah. That IS what’s bothering you, isn’t it? The lack of people?

DOCTOR
Yes. You’re right. A city this size, at least over a hundred square miles, clearly three hundred years old at the most. The place should be packed with people!

He sounds suspicious.

PERI
But it’s a Sunday, isn’t it?

DOCTOR
And if it isn’t?

PERI
A day off, then. No alien ships in the sky, no explosions. No radiation either – I checked before I came out.

DOCTOR
Odd.

PERI
No, you see, I *like* not being radioactive. It’s really no trouble to check a dial.

DOCTOR
Assuming it’s still connected.

Peri looks at him, anxious.

PERI
You’re joking.

DOCTOR
Of course I am. You think I need a dial to know if the air is irradiated? Dear dear.

She rolls her eyes.

PERI
So what’s the problem that bothers you so much but obviously isn’t the lack of people since you hadn’t noticed it?

The Doctor nods and turns to her.

DOCTOR
My problem, Peri, is that I’m fairly certain we are in Sheffield. Yes, I was there with old Egbert right at the beginning when Eanred surrendered to him at Dore, making him the first King of England...

PERI
And?

DOCTOR
And that was the start of the city. They built a castle, and the town grew around it. Before that there was nothing worth speaking of, just a few settlements that had sprung up since the end of the last ice age.

PERI
When was that?

DOCTOR
829 AD. We are, at a rough estimate 13, 000 BC. Give or take the odd fifteen years.

PERI
So... this city shouldn’t be here?

DOCTOR
Nothing like this should be anywhere on the planet, Peri. Not for another fifteen thousand years.

Leaving this statement hanging, the Doctor turns to look around them. Peri looks around as well, not quite sure what to say or even think.


3. INT. KHAM’S ROOM (DAY)

An average bedroom in a luxury flat. A woman of about 18 stands before a mirror, checking her reflection. This is KHAM. She is wearing a fine, sophisticated dress and has just done her hair. On her wrist is a digital watch – 360:00, 359:59, 359:58, etc. counting down. She turns to take a cream jacket from her hatstand. There is a knock at the door.

KHAM
Yeah?

LAHR (VO)
Kham? Is it all right if I come in?

KHAM
Sure.

The door opens as Kham’s father LAHR. He is a well-built man in his fifties, dressed in casual clothes. He holds a newspaper in his hand and like Lahr, he has a digital watch.

LAHR
Are you ready?

KHAM
Almost.

LAHR
You’re sure this is what you want?

Kham nods, donning the jacket.

LAHR
All right. I mean, you don’t have to. If you want to do something else to spend...

Kham is firm.

KHAM
No. I’m sure. I’m not going to get another chance.

LAHR
Jade is a very lucky man.

KHAM
He’s doing the same. Can’t think of a better way to show a girl how he feels.

Lahr smiles.

LAHR
True. You look beautiful.

KHAM
Thanks.

LAHR
You’re welcome.

KHAM
No, I mean... thanks. For everything.

LAHR
I know.

She runs over to him and embraces him tightly. We cut to the watch: 353 and counting. They finally break the hug. Lahr looks at his watch.

LAHR
You’d best get going girl, or you’ll keep Jade waiting.

KHAM
What are you going to do tonight?

Lahr indicates the paper.

LAHR
I’ve still got the sports section to read.

KHAM
You never read the sports section!

LAHR
Well, it’s the last issue. Might as well read all of it.

KHAM
And mum?

LAHR
I’ll look after her. We’re both going to kick back and relax.

KHAM
You think nothing’s going to happen, don’t you?

LAHR
I guess it still hasn’t sunk in. Either way, I’ll enjoy the evening.

KHAM
Logical.

She says it to rhyme with “nice”.

KHAM
I better get going. Where’s mum?

LAHR
Just out in the garden. You don’t want the transporter?

KHAM
It’s not a day for driving, dad.

LAHR
Planning to take him for a walk tonight, eh?

Kham shrugs and blushes slightly.

LAHR
You romantic. Be careful though.

KHAM
Why?

Lahr starts to sound frantic.

LAHR
There are probably still a few defectives out there!

KHAM
Even now?

LAHR
Even now!

He sighs, composing himself.

LAHR
Please. Just be careful.

KHAM
I will, dad. I promise.

He places an arm around her and checks his watch.

LAHR
Time’s wasting. Let’s go see your mother.

They leave. We see Kham’s wrist watch: 348.


4. EXT. MAIN STREET (DAY)

The sun is still lighting up the sky. The Doctor and Peri are silhouetted against it as they walk over a bridge up a street. They walk in the middle of the road, the Doctor with his hands in his pockets, face grim.

PERI
You’re sure this isn’t just the TARDIS console playing up again?

DOCTOR
“Playing up”? Peri, I admit the old girl is getting on a bit and we don’t always arrive on target, but the navigation and orientation circuits are in complete working order!

PERI
Then why are the coordinates wrong?

DOCTOR
Wrong? They aren’t wrong. They’re absolutely accurate. What makes you think they’re wrong?

PERI
They’re not the ones you taught me for Earth.

DOCTOR
They’re close.

PERI
“Close”?

DOCTOR
Well. All right. I admit. According to the instruments we should be somewhere in interplanetary void, between Earth and Mars.

PERI
In the year 13, 000 BC?

DOCTOR
Yes.

PERI
But we’re in 1980s Sheffield.

DOCTOR
As it appears.

PERI
So, either the controls are damaged... or?

DOCTOR
Or something very nasty.

He sighs, looking grim. Peri sighs.

PERI
You mean, someone’s changed history?

DOCTOR
Oh, no, Peri. Quite the opposite. I think things are going PRECISELY as intended...

They are both startled as a voice through a megaphone is heard.

RALN
SIX METRONS TO GO! REPEAT! SIX METRONS TO GO!

They whirl around. An open-top sports car with an odd symbol on the bonnet turns the corner and moves down the street with a low buzzing. The megaphone on the bonnet is linked to a CB radio set on the dashboard. We see a cheerful-looking bearded man in a scruffy, Tartan shirt is driving it. This is RALN, and he waves as the Doctor and Peri quickly return to the pavement. Raln pulls up beside them.

DOCTOR
Ah, hello there...

Raln glares at them and speaks gravely into the radio.

RALN
Did you remember to disconnect the power stacks?

PERI
Did we what?

DOCTOR
I think he’s worried we’ve left the gas on.

Raln shrugs and shakes his head good-naturedly.

RALN
It won’t matter in the end. Especially as the end is only six metrons and...

He glances at his watch.

RALN
I do beg your pardon. Five metrons and forty-four segments away!

PERI
What do you mean, “the end”?

Raln looks at her, cheer fading. He sounds almost crestfallen.

RALN
You’ll find out.

He suddenly guns the engine and the car heads off. The Doctor hurries after him.

DOCTOR
Now, wait a minute, what are you talking about?!

RALN
MIDNIGHT, MY FRIENDS! MIDNIGHT!

The car turns the corner and drops out of sight. The Doctor turns to look back at Peri as she catches up with him.

DOCTOR
Did that strike you as odd at all?

PERI
Just a little. What happens at midnight? New Year?

DOCTOR
Something a bit bleaker I fancy. Did he look worried to you?

PERI
Seemed kinda cheerful.

DOCTOR
Pre-death excitement. Adrenaline with nowhere to go. You might see it on a battlefield or a space accident, but in the middle of a suburban street, that’s not usual.

PERI
So, something very bad is happening at midnight?

DOCTOR
Yes, something that seems to have terrified the locals.

The Doctor looks around.

DOCTOR
No earth tremors. The TARDIS would have picked up seismic activity. No sign of disease or plague. No radiation. The sun’s setting normally, no asteroids in the vicinity...

PERI
Not a natural disaster, then?

DOCTOR
At least not a conventional one. Not a war, either. Or invasion.

PERI
No propaganda posters, no sirens, no barbed wire?

DOCTOR
Yes, well spotted, Peri. And it’s not so much this place is deserted... everyone’s staying indoors for some reason. I wonder why?

PERI
Maybe the streets aren’t safe?

DOCTOR
That young chap didn’t seem to be worried about us?

PERI
If he thinks everything’s ending in five and a half metrons, maybe it didn’t matter?

The Doctor looks at her and then along the street.

DOCTOR
Yes. Perhaps just this once we better return to the TARDIS. You never know, it might be able to shed some light on what’s going on.

PERI
And we can leave very quickly?

DOCTOR
Yes. That could be a very good idea.

The Doctor turns and heads back the way they came. Peri follows.

PERI
"Leave right away"? Sarcasm is the lowest form of wit, mister!

DOCTOR
Who said anything about sarcasm? This is in deadly earnest!


5. INT. HALLWAY (DAY)

JADE, a square-jawed good-looking man heads for the door. He wears a dinner suit and is doing up some cufflinks. SHELL, a sour-faced woman in her fifties emerges from a side door. She looks at Jade with annoyance.

SHELL
Jade!

Jade rolls his eyes and keeps moving.

SHELL
You’re supposed to be helping me pack! We’re heading down to the shelters...

JADE
Too late, mum. Shoulda done that weeks ago.

SHELL
Your sister and your baby brother are down there with your grandparents. The only reason we’ve left it this late is because of that illogical little bimbo you’re dating.

Jade looks at her coldly, his fist bunching in anger.

JADE
Kham and I are spending the evening together.

SHELL
You’re not going out!

JADE
I’m not staying here!

SHELL
Illogic logic! You’re going to abandon your family today for her?!

Jade laughs cruelly.

JADE
Family? What family?! The others aren’t here, are they. And the day of the announcement was when dad decided everything he’d spent his life was working for was now pointless and very LOGICALLY killed himself!

SHELL
Your father...

JADE
Is dead! He didn’t want to spend today with us, well, I’m just returning the favor! The only reason I’m still in this town is because Kham wanted to stay with her family.

SHELL
You’re not thinking! You’ve got to prioritize!

JADE
So prioritize! You want to get to the shelters? Stop wasting our time.

SHELL
Jade! Don’t you dare walk out of here! Don’t you dare!

Jade ignores her.


6. EXT. SIDE STREET (DAY)

The Doctor and Peri are walking briskly around the corner.

PERI
If you know what’s going on, you could just tell me...

DOCTOR
When we’re back at the TARDIS, and I’m sure I know what I’m talking about then I-

The house to their left is Jade’s. The door swings open and Jade strides out and down the steps towards the road. Shell can be heard screaming for him.

DOCTOR
Oh, excuse me...

Jade glares at them.

JADE
What?

DOCTOR
I don’t suppose you could tell us where we are, we’re lost.

JADE
Block Gamma Epsilon, City State of Jyenra. Out of my way, please.

The Doctor and Peri part to allow Jade to stride off down the street.

DOCTOR
Definitely not Sheffield.

PERI
So where on Earth are we?

DOCTOR
Earth? Who said anything about Earth?

Shell hurries down the steps.

SHELL
Jade? JADE!

DOCTOR
Ah, good evening, madam...

The Doctor hops up onto her front path. She looks at him disbelievingly.

SHELL
Who are you?

PERI
Just passers-by. We were wondering if...

SHELL
Get away from me!

She scrambles back up towards the house, not taking her eyes off the Doctor.

DOCTOR
We don’t mean any harm...

SHELL
The Dæmon you will! Get out of here now!

PERI
“Demon”?

The Doctor looks at Shell in surprise.

DOCTOR
Dæmon. Madam, please...

Shell turns and runs inside the door. The Doctor runs up the steps.

SHELL
Just go!!

DOCTOR
This IS Mondas, isn’t it?!

SHELL
Where else would it be! No go away before I call the Enforcers!

She slams the door in the Doctor’s face. Expression dark, he turns and runs down the steps back towards where Peri is waiting.

DOCTOR
Back to the TARDIS – at the double.

PERI
Mondas? But that’s...

DOCTOR
Peri! MOVE!

He bundles her out of the yard and they run off out of sight.




Can you guess what this story's about, boys and girls?