Out of all the things RTD has written and done, the one thing that really bugs me is that he is a lying bastard. A self-confessed lying bastard. Why does he even WRITE Production Notes when a) it's vetted so there are no spoilers and b) he's lying half the time. He swore he'd never bring the Master back, except he was just covering his arse until he worked out how the character should be. And now this...
Billie Piper is BACK people!
And as Rose Marion Tyler, the blonde chick from series one and two.
That curious tapping noise you will hear is me headbutting my desk repeatedly.
Now, don't get me wrong. I love Billie Piper. She's a brilliant actress, she's had a harsh life, her autobiography made me weep at how cruel people are to her, and she's beautiful. Whether I love Rose is another matter. What ISN'T a murky topic is whether or not bringing back Rose would be a good idea.
It isn't.
Plain and simple.
Oh, I have to admit the relief I felt when RTD practically grabbed that gormless CBBC interveiwer by the throat and shout, "Did you WATCH that bit on the beach? That's a GOODBYE! She is NOT coming back!" He also justified his claim on the grounds that it would be impossible to bring back Rose as a surprise. A Dalek he might get away with. The Master he had a fighting chance. But Rose? Not even RTD was dumb enough to think he could film her on location and get away with it.
And so Rose is gone. And we had season three. Now, while the 'Rose' meme for all the episodes may have been overkill, (and Moffat deserves a slap for writing Martha as Rose, even down to the shop gags), the point was clear. She was gone, and we have to see the Doctor getting over it. We also get to see a different side to a companion, and Martha's unrequieted lust for the Time Lord is territory no one went for bar part one of Snakedance, and even then Nyssa was just wanting him to notice her outfit.
The whole point was, if anyone missed it, was in Last of the Time Lords when the Master gleefully compares Martha to Rose and call her rubbish. And five seconds later, Martha's fucked up his scheme to the point first aide and gingham dress is required.
The ghost of Rose is exorcised. Martha doesn't need to live up to Rose's shadow, and she realizes that even WITHOUT blondie toothy cutey involved, she still wouldn't get any from the Doctor. I mean, if Jack can't score with him, no one can.
And so, we move on.
And then they bring her back.
In a two parter.
By RTD.
No.No no no no no no no no!
Oh, I can imagine his smug expression even now. "Ooh, let's have Donna and Rose save the day and make it a time travel story so, for a gag, they never realize who they are? How could we not do that?" FUCKING EASILY, I scream in response. Jesus. Why bring back Rose if you're not going to hook her up with the Doctor? I mean, why? In my unmade Season Four, I came up with a Rose return story that had the Doctor mentally sort out his feelings for her when an alien assumes Rose's form to trap him.
Why is that the only story RTD WON'T steal from me?
BTW, I'm not some insane conspiracy theorist. Well, I am, I suppose, but I'm not some 'Bring Back Rose' looney ignoring the facts. She IS coming back. The BBC HAVE confirmed it. RTD IS a lying scumbag.
Let's just hope the season finale where the entire Tyler clan, Torchwood and Sarah Jane adventures unit to form a giant police box to destroy Davros is utter shite while we're at it...
Edited to add:
I just checked out Eye of Horus, the Sparacus of the Who web guides... perhaps more closed minded... and their verdict on Rose Tyler is this:
Billie Piper is busy working girl nowadays, and the BBC has confirmed that she will reprise the role of Rose Tyler in SERIES 4. In the immortal words of the Tenth Doctor: "What?" She will join, according to the report on BBC NEWS online, in the final three episodes of SERIES 4 alongside Catherine Tate, Freema Agyeman and John Barrowman. Crowded! In the immortal words of the Tenth Doctor: "What?" If she was to return then she would be better used in the 2009 three "Specials" series, linking to the new Eleventh Doctor for 2010.
And suddenly, RTD's madness suddenly seems a relief.
At these THESE idiots, whose idea for Season 4 consists solely of:
He is iconic within the legend of DOCTOR WHO. As iconic as the Dalek, Cybermen, the Master, the Sontaran, K-9 & Sarah Jane Smith.So, where's Nicholas Courtney's return to the NEW SERIES. Is BBC WALES ageist?
Running scared about inviting the 77 years old actor as they don't think that the new generation of (young) fans & viewers will be unable to understand the backstory of the character. Will the viewers want to see a dithering old man bumbling around the youthful breakneck sprint of Tennant's Doctor? I think, yes.
It is time to dust of the epaulettes and the peaked cap, and give the Brigadier one last valiant battle alongside the Doctor. It is time to find the Brigadier (RTD) and aim the character to defend & defeat an alien menace for one final time - at the cost of his own life.
So... they want the Brigadier back... just so they can kill him off and he can never come back.
And they are pissed off at the New Series for NOT doing this.
So, I'll be giving RTD the benefit of the doubt until I see the episodes, confident that even the man who perpetrated the Torchwood Arc isn't as much as a clueless twat as EOH, Spara or Gabriel Chase. Oh, what has the Discerning Fan got to say about Billie's return in his site (which the Doctor Who Web Guide refers to as 'an oddity' (oh, those wits)?
Hmmm. Nope. Cutting edge, that bloke... but wait, this feels like it needs a new entry...
10 comments:
and Moffat deserves a slap for writing Martha as Rose, even down to the shop gags
...excuse me? For the three scenes in which Martha appeared in the entire story, receiving barely any dialogue?
The 'shop gag' was a nod to Rose being a shopgirl, yes, but acknowledged that Martha very much wasn't... that was the POINT! She was outraged at having to work at a shop when she's [nearly] a fully-qualified Doctor.
It's a fair cop that Moffat didn't put much effort into writing Martha in that she plays an ever smaller part than Rose did in L&M, but I think your reaching for a reason to bag him out - which is odd because you seem to keep a collection of them close to your heart. I'd argue that Martha's near-entire absence of dialogue creates, if anything, a personality void too devoid to possibly be a facsimile of Rose unless you have an incredibly low opinion of the character.
You may have noticed me going over-kill on response to your regular token piece of Moffat-bashing... this is because I am struggling in vain to comprehend this terrible, terrible piece of news.
We need a new producer. Now. RTD is going JNT on us and it really, really sucks.
...excuse me? For the three scenes in which Martha appeared in the entire story, receiving barely any dialogue?
That dialogue being:
a Rose-like "Hi, Mister, you've just been doomed to live life in in the sixties, but I don't give a fuck and want to brag about how I've seen the moon landing three times"
a Rose-like "I'm working in a SHOP!"
and of course the Rose-like "We're far too busy having unseen adventures to let you talk to the pretty blonde"
And I think this criticism is a very fair one as
a) the rest of Blink is flawless
b) he admits he did no real work on Martha's character
c) [and this is the biggie] RTD and the others let it go out as is
c) is the thing I hate about Moffat's Who scripts. It's like script editors refusing to do their work. He constantly says that NO ONE told him Mickey and Rose had a barney the scene before TGITFP, and he could have fixed it easily. I believe him.
Ultimately, the script editors need bashing more than Moffat. The guy is a genius, IMHO. I mean, I've been watching Jekyll. Freaking genius.
You can take it from read from now on any Moffat-bashing is about the people who are too overawed by him to adjust his script properly.
I mean, until a very, very late stage, that 'one year scene' later had Sally Sparrow pregnant. But then Moffat realized that her doing the dirty and concieving a child with Larry - who she only NOTICES in the final seconds of the episode - was a tad unlikely, and changed it.
It seems no one else in the entire world also thought that. And the whole point of script editing, meetings and the like, is JUST for that sort of brain storming.
You may have noticed me going over-kill on response to your regular token piece of Moffat-bashing... this is because I am struggling in vain to comprehend this terrible, terrible piece of news.
Well, in fairness, it's only really BAD news because Rose is coming BACK. If she was, I dunno, just a flashback or something, it could work. A kind of Face of Evil story with the Doc and Donna picking up the pieces left by the Doc and Rose.
You know why I'm suggesting this, RTD?
SO YOU NICK IT LIKE EVERYTHING ELSE I DO!
We need a new producer. Now.
Well, little consolation, I know, but it seems we'll be getting one in 2009, so the 2010 season will be a new guy.
RTD is going JNT on us and it really, really sucks.
Yes, and why did JNT 'go' in the first place? Cause the rest of the production team no longer gave a shit, forcing him to go to desperate lengths.
Mind you, RTD could only bring back Billie if she WANTED to come back, so... I dunno. Maybe the shippers have his boyfriend prisoner and will execute him unless Rose comes back...
That dialogue being:
a Rose-like "Hi, Mister, you've just been doomed to live life in in the sixties, but I don't give a fuck and want to brag about how I've seen the moon landing three times"
Oh, jeez, I forgot about how bad that bit was...
and of course the Rose-like "We're far too busy having unseen adventures to let you talk to the pretty blonde"
I could have sworn she just yelled out "Doctor" or "They're hatching" or some vague stuff like that.
I loved that scene, by the way.
a) the rest of Blink is flawless
*Gasp!* A compliment!
b) he admits he did no real work on Martha's character
I can understand that - it's a Doctor-lite story. And, y'know, you can kind of see it.
c) is the thing I hate about Moffat's Who scripts. It's like script editors refusing to do their work. He constantly says that NO ONE told him Mickey and Rose had a barney the scene before TGITFP, and he could have fixed it easily. I believe him.
Ah, right now I'm with you.
Wow, so they kept him in the dark about what the characters had gone through... but... what the hell?!? Is he meant to use his Press Gang-patented psychic powers to work it all out?
Ultimately, the script editors need bashing more than Moffat. The guy is a genius, IMHO. I mean, I've been watching Jekyll. Freaking genius.
Only seen the first ep. WHEN THE HELL ARE ABC PUTTING IT ON?!?
I mean, until a very, very late stage, that 'one year scene' later had Sally Sparrow pregnant. But then Moffat realized that her doing the dirty and concieving a child with Larry - who she only NOTICES in the final seconds of the episode - was a tad unlikely, and changed it.
Wow. They need to get their act together then - the irony is that they presumably take his scripts as they are because they assume that they're perfect - but by doing that they miss obvious errors and thus make the finished script look worse.
Well, little consolation, I know, but it seems we'll be getting one in 2009, so the 2010 season will be a new guy.
YEEEEES!!!
RTD just seems obsessed with his own miniscule patch of continuity and it's really been pissing me off. Especially because he does a lot of other stuff so well..
Well, in fairness, it's only really BAD news because Rose is coming BACK. If she was, I dunno, just a flashback or something, it could work.
Yeah, I know it could be great. That's the real tragedy.
Mind you, RTD could only bring back Billie if she WANTED to come back, so... I dunno.
I can't work it out either. Isn't she making a sweet living playing a high-class prostitute in a top-rating series?
Oh, jeez, I forgot about how bad that bit was...
I sadly have not.
I loved that scene, by the way.
Yeah. It rocked.
*Gasp!* A compliment!
My only real complaint was that it rendered the annual non canonical (so why release it in the first place?)
I can understand that - it's a Doctor-lite story. And, y'know, you can kind of see it.
Which is fine. I mean, he's just like 89% of writers who don't instantly know the regulars inside out.
Ah, right now I'm with you.
Phew.
Wow, so they kept him in the dark about what the characters had gone through... but... what the hell?!? Is he meant to use his Press Gang-patented psychic powers to work it all out?
Well, my main bitch of the Empty Child is how different the Doc, Rose and Jack are to every other story, so it seems traditional that he gets kept in the dark...
Only seen the first ep. WHEN THE HELL ARE ABC PUTTING IT ON?!?
I've seen the second episode.
Just... whoa. The bit where Hyde sings "The Lion Sleeps Tonight" is hilarious and terrifying simultaneously - much scarier than its use in Rise of the Cybermen. But then, people only seem to sing that song when unspeakable things happen off screen...
Wow. They need to get their act together then - the irony is that they presumably take his scripts as they are because they assume that they're perfect - but by doing that they miss obvious errors and thus make the finished script look worse.
Yes. So, retcon all my previous Moffat-bashing appropriately.
Simple fact is, when he's writing his OWN stuff, he is the Ood's bollocks. When working in another format, he can do wonders IF he is helped with it (like he worked out the Tenth Doctor's character in Girl).
YEEEEES!!!
Not confirmed, but all the signs are the 'specials' are to allow the new bloke to ease in without a jarring change that might alienate viewers.
RTD just seems obsessed with his own miniscule patch of continuity and it's really been pissing me off. Especially because he does a lot of other stuff so well...
Yep. The fact is he writes the opening episode, the finale, the Christmas special and the next opening episode. No one can keep brilliance under that workload. No wonder he's falling back on stuff he's created - it's easier.
Yeah, I know it could be great. That's the real tragedy.
BTW, checking out all the angles, it seems that one episode, Doctor lite, has a kind of flashback with Rose in it. But the finale two parter has her 'for real' (whatever that means, and hopefully it's Kamelion in a cunning disguise).
I can't work it out either. Isn't she making a sweet living playing a high-class prostitute in a top-rating series?
Well, that finished filming ages ago. And according to her autobiography, she really regretted leaving Doctor Who and was depressed that Doomsday meant she could never come back.
So Billie has more respect for the audience than RTD has. Shock.
*sigh* The Brig and the Time Lords... both essential parts of the DW mythos... that everyone wants to see destroyed brutally for some sick reason.
I've heard quite a bit about Eye of Horus. Mostly along the lines of "OMGWTF Why teh fuck you linking to EOH?!?" I gather they have a sort of policy about reading rumours about the show, drawing conclusions from that, piling their own fantasies onto that, drizzling it with their opinions and then calling it fact before it all gets dumped on their news page.
I'm extreeeemely sceptical that we'll have Catherine Tait, Freema Agyeman, Billie Piper, John Barrowman and David Tennant in the TARDIS at once. As in "HAHAHA YOU ARE LUNATICS TO BELIEVE IT!"
*sigh* The Brig and the Time Lords... both essential parts of the DW mythos... that everyone wants to see destroyed brutally for some sick reason.
Am I the only one in the entire world who noticed the Brig saying, "Ace, he's all yours from now on. I'm too old for this."
He already HAD a farewell story. OK, it was one of the worst things Doctor Who ever produced, it's not like he faded away or anything...
I've heard quite a bit about Eye of Horus.
They're not as hardcore as they used to be - oh, the spite they had in the old days - but they still do love to be condescending in their straightforward news reports.
For example, a preview of the latest DWM describes the mag as "the latest overpriced comic" and snobbery like that.
I gather they have a sort of policy about reading rumours about the show, drawing conclusions from that, piling their own fantasies onto that, drizzling it with their opinions and then calling it fact before it all gets dumped on their news page.
Sort of. It was only a few months ago they actually bothered to check their program guide for the Eccleston era, which featured the titled "End of the Road" "DDay" and "The Parting of the Waves".
I'm extreeeemely sceptical that we'll have Catherine Tait, Freema Agyeman, Billie Piper, John Barrowman and David Tennant in the TARDIS at once. As in "HAHAHA YOU ARE LUNATICS TO BELIEVE IT!"
Well, we know Cap'n Jack will be in Moffat's Cyberman story, and it will be Jack from his Time Agent Days. Certainly the idea of a Five Docs get together is... well... unlikely to say the least.
Am I the only one in the entire world who noticed the Brig saying, "Ace, he's all yours from now on. I'm too old for this."
I can't remember it specifically, but I only watched Battlefield the once, as I'm sure you can understand.
He already HAD a farewell story. OK, it was one of the worst things Doctor Who ever produced, it's not like he faded away or anything...
Yeah, it's a ridiculous fannish urge to see the brig again simply because Nicholas Courtney has worked with more Doctors than anyone else, but you have to acknowledge the simple fact that the Brig has already come out of retirement once 'for old time's sake', and nearly got himself killed in the process (Whilst experiencing his finest moment of glory). It stretches credulity more than a little to think that he'd do it again. Now that he's 20 years older.
It's also unnecessary given the fact that Nick Courtney's voice freakishly refused to change with age, so he can play the Brig on audio at any age.
They're not as hardcore as they used to be - oh, the spite they had in the old days - but they still do love to be condescending in their straightforward news reports.
Oh, one of those.
Sort of. It was only a few months ago they actually bothered to check their program guide for the Eccleston era, which featured the titled "End of the Road" "DDay" and "The Parting of the Waves".
Hehehe!
Well, we know Cap'n Jack will be in Moffat's Cyberman story, and it will be Jack from his Time Agent Days.
Oh, that's right I did hear about that. I don't like the idea too much because I believe all this faffing about with recurring pseudo-companions just makes the Whoniverse seem smaller.
Fuck... is that going to be the two years missing from Jack's life? If so, I'm going to have to be quick with that fanfic idea of mine...
Certainly the idea of a Five Docs get together is... well... unlikely to say the least.
Is Rose meant to be in the Martha stories?
I can't remember it specifically, but I only watched Battlefield the once, as I'm sure you can understand.
Well... he did. After the 'death scene'.
Yeah, it's a ridiculous fannish urge to see the brig again simply because Nicholas Courtney has worked with more Doctors than anyone else, but you have to acknowledge the simple fact that the Brig has already come out of retirement once 'for old time's sake', and nearly got himself killed in the process (Whilst experiencing his finest moment of glory). It stretches credulity more than a little to think that he'd do it again. Now that he's 20 years older.
Ultimately, the comic strip, the Warkeeper's Crown does that anyway - it even has the Brigadier realize to his amazement that the Doctor has fought in a war, so their relationship changes to a degree.
Good comic strip, man.
It's also unnecessary given the fact that Nick Courtney's voice freakishly refused to change with age, so he can play the Brig on audio at any age.
Which is what they do...
Oh, that's right I did hear about that. I don't like the idea too much because I believe all this faffing about with recurring pseudo-companions just makes the Whoniverse seem smaller.
True... mind you, the Pertwee years did the same sort of thing...
Fuck... is that going to be the two years missing from Jack's life?
As far as we know, yes.
If so, I'm going to have to be quick with that fanfic idea of mine...
The one where he tries to kill himself?
Is Rose meant to be in the Martha stories?
Well, Martha is in the last seven episodes (two of them are the Sontarnas, two of them the finale).
Rose is in three episodes, two of them are the finale. If the third one is also part of the finale (like Utopia), then yes.
Of course, whether she actually meets Martha in the episodes, we don't know. I mean, she probably will, but Mickey and Jackie didn't meet the Daleks when they were in TPOTW...
Which is what they do...
Yeah, I know. And it works BRILLIANTLY!
The point being that if they really want a Courtney/Tennant story it wouldn't be hard for BF to knock one up when Tennant's TV era is over. I mean, I somehow doubt that David would be reluctant to do any.
True... mind you, the Pertwee years did the same sort of thing...
The Pertwee era is also my least favourite of the show. (Well, Colin's probably pips it in that regard but it isn't terribly good)
The one where he tries to kill himself?
Yeah.
...C'mon, I swear it could be cool!
Of course, whether she actually meets Martha in the episodes, we don't know. I mean, she probably will, but Mickey and Jackie didn't meet the Daleks when they were in TPOTW...
If the two of them do meet, there's only one person to write the scene...
GARY RUSSELL!
Yeah, I know. And it works BRILLIANTLY!
I know.
The point being that if they really want a Courtney/Tennant story it wouldn't be hard for BF to knock one up when Tennant's TV era is over. I mean, I somehow doubt that David would be reluctant to do any.
Hell, he was recording Dalek Empire between TCI and Series 1.
The Pertwee era is also my least favourite of the show. (Well, Colin's probably pips it in that regard but it isn't terribly good)
I'm just saying there's precedence.
...C'mon, I swear it could be cool!
Have I ever doubted you?
But, yeah, write it quick. My Eighth Doc deathflick is ridiculous now that not only C'Rizz and Charley not die in the Time War, niether did Destrii...
If the two of them do meet, there's only one person to write the scene...
GARY RUSSELL!
Yes!
Because he's really good at scenes that like. It's not like we'll get Charley/Perfection scenes word for word while the Doctor and Davros stand on either sides, waiting for chances to go back to the plot.
The Next Life NEEDS to be on TV...
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